Sunday, August 24, 2008

Hey, don't come down on me, dumbass!

Winter, 1989
As I was washing my hands in the bathroom at work l looked in the mirror and saw a gray hair in my beard. Back then, I had so few gray hairs on my face I could still pluck them out without it turning into an all day job, so that's just what I did. As soon as I did it, I saw that Lester Lester the Child Molester had wandered in. "Hey Lester, do you know what this is?" I asked, handing him the hair.
"Nope, I can't say that I do" he grins, studying it up close.
"That, my friend, is my very first gray pubic hair."
"AAAAGGGGHHHH! You rotten bastard!" he yells as he throws the hair down and starts wiping his hands on his leg, trying to get the cooties off. "You're fucking sick, man. You rotten fucking bastard." He walked out of the bathroom pissing and moaning and still wiping his hands off on his coveralls.
Now, I gotta ask you. If we were in a bathroom and I tried to hand you a short curly hair, would you take it?