A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes.
The salesman says, "But sir, I can see from up here that you're at least a size 11."
The guy says, "Just bring me a size 8 tie shoe."
The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them , ties them tight, and then stands up in obvious pain.
The salesman has to ask, "Sir, why must you have these undersized shoes?"
He says to the salesman, "I lost my business and my house, I live with my mother-in-law, my wife is sleeping with my best friend, my daughter is pregnant, and my son is gay. The only pleasure I have in life is taking off these fucking shoes."