Sunday, September 21, 2008

The things guys do when we're bored

This is the time of the year for this stunt.

Step #1
Go to your local ceramics workshop and buy a life sized skull. These are sold as greenware and must be worked, glazed and fired. If you don’t know how, ask one of the little old ladies that are working on their projects - they’ll be glad to show you how it’s done especially if you’re nice and polite. Just tell them that it’s for Halloween.
It’s not real important to do a great job working them down. You’ll see why. But you do have to fire them or they’ll melt if they come in contact with water, which they will if you do it right.

Step #2
Partially bury that sucker, remembering to fill the skull with dirt too. Do a better job than I did in the picture. Pat down the dirt, scatter a couple of leaves on it - you know, make it look like it's been there for a while. The places to plant them are endless but my favorites are empty lots, back yards of foreclosed homes, footpaths along the river, etc. You want someplace that’s semi secluded but will get some traffic later in time. It's best to do them in different towns or counties if you can.
When you bury it, it helps to get them a bit wet and roll them in the dirt (I didn’t do it to the one in the photos because this particular one was a gift from a Grateful Dead fan) so it’ll look like it’s good and weathered.
Depending on how realistic you want to get, you can scatter some beef rib bones around close by, maybe a couple sticking out of the ground. It all depends on how ambitious you are. Me? I'm lazy. I stick with just a skull.

Step #3
Leave. Watch the papers. Laugh your ass off. But be patient, it may be quite a while before they're found, years even.
The really cool thing is that even if you get caught the most you’ll be charged with is Trespassing, depending on where you’re at when you get caught. BUT, if you do get caught go back and get any other ones you've buried in that jurisdiction. The law gets pissed if they feel they're wasting their time and I guarantee you the cop that caught you will remember you.
Have fun, Guys

1 comment: