A redneck was in a bad car accident and after months of recovery he still had a problem and had to have his penis amputated. He went to see the doctor and was reassured that he could help.
"First of all you have to pick a new penis," said the doctor. The physician picked up a box from his table and said, "This is our 6 inch standard model. It is dependable and will cost you only $6000. It comes with a lifetime guarantee."
Bubba said, "Okay, that's about right, but what's in the other box?"
"This is our 9 inch super model. 9 inches of muscle to please any women. But this will cost you $9,000!"
Bubba said, "Oh yeah, that's the one I want. My wife will love me forever. But does it also come with a lifetime guarantee?"
"Yes" says the Doc.
"What's in the third box?"
The doctor picked up yet another box from his desk. "This is our super deluxe model. Its 12 inches of all beef and will drive all the ladies wild. But if you want this much power you'll have to pay $12,000!"
Bubba is really on a roll and is tickled pink. "Doc, that's it, that's the one for me. I'll be the envy of everyone I know. But does it have a lifetime guarantee?"
"YES SIR!" replies the Doc.
Bubba had just one more question: "Does it come in White?"