Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
John Prine performs "Sam Stone"
Listen to the words if you're not familiar with the song. So sad......
Hey, the munchies are a bitch, man
Cops: Man tries to pay for fast food meal with pot
VERO BEACH, Fla. —
A McDonald's cashier called 911 after a Vero Beach drive-thru customer allegedly offered to pay for his meal with marijuana. The Indian River County Sheriff's Office said the cashier called Monday with a description of the vehicle the suspect had been riding in.
A deputy spotted the vehicle, found marijuana in the car and arrested its occupant, 27-year-old Shawn Alexander Pannullo.
Pannullo was charged with possession of cannabis and posted $500 bail. It was unclear if he had an attorney.
A Sheriff's report did not say what the suspect ordered at McDonald's or if he ultimately purchased the meal using something other than marijuana.
Information from: Scripps Treasure Coast Newspapers: http://www.tcpalm.com
VERO BEACH, Fla. —
A McDonald's cashier called 911 after a Vero Beach drive-thru customer allegedly offered to pay for his meal with marijuana. The Indian River County Sheriff's Office said the cashier called Monday with a description of the vehicle the suspect had been riding in.
A deputy spotted the vehicle, found marijuana in the car and arrested its occupant, 27-year-old Shawn Alexander Pannullo.
Pannullo was charged with possession of cannabis and posted $500 bail. It was unclear if he had an attorney.
A Sheriff's report did not say what the suspect ordered at McDonald's or if he ultimately purchased the meal using something other than marijuana.
Information from: Scripps Treasure Coast Newspapers: http://www.tcpalm.com
Handy device
Hmmm, maybe I'll get this for The Evil Cats for the next time I have to take them to the vet.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Neil Young sings "Helpless" at The Last Waltz with The Band
Neil looks a little wired up here in this excerpt from the movie The Last Waltz. It's still a good performance though.
By the way, the girl in silhouette singing the background vocals is Joni Mitchell. A lovely voice, don't you think?
I think this was the fucker that was behind me today
Really guys, turn that bass-thumping stereo down. You're not impressing anybody over the age of 12 anyways.....
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Hahaha
The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse. "I would really like to see John McCain and Barack Obama before I die." whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived. McCain and Obama would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Obama commented to McCain "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images." McCain couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took McCain's hand in his right hand and Obama's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally McCain spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?" The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen" said Obama.
"Amen" said McCain.
The old priest continued... "He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse. "I would really like to see John McCain and Barack Obama before I die." whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived. McCain and Obama would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Obama commented to McCain "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images." McCain couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took McCain's hand in his right hand and Obama's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally McCain spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?" The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen" said Obama.
"Amen" said McCain.
The old priest continued... "He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."
Chow mein, fried rice, foil chicken & oral sex
A guy goes out clubbing and spots this lovely looking Chinese girl and without a moment to lose asks her to dance. They get on very well, more dances, a few drinks and at the end of the night she asks him "Would you like to come back to my place for coffee?" which of course he does They arrive at her apartment and she tells him to sit down, have a drink while she slips on something more comfortable.
Well, he has his drink and out she comes wearing a see though nightie and says "Tonight I'm you're complete sex slave, you can do anything you want."
He replies "Wow that's great, I'd really like a 69!"
"Fuck off!" she says, "I'm not cooking this time of night!"
Well, he has his drink and out she comes wearing a see though nightie and says "Tonight I'm you're complete sex slave, you can do anything you want."
He replies "Wow that's great, I'd really like a 69!"
"Fuck off!" she says, "I'm not cooking this time of night!"
Friday, October 10, 2008
Mormon Crips
I was watching a program about the Crips in Salt Lake City until I got bored.
I can see it now:
They'll do a drive by shooting from their bicycles on Saturdays and come witness to you during the week.
I can see it now:
They'll do a drive by shooting from their bicycles on Saturdays and come witness to you during the week.
Cartridge shaped ice cubes
VC from http://throwtheball.blogspot.com/ sent me this link in response to a comment that I posted on his site. Like him, I like the magazine shaped ice tray. Cute, huh?
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday to Singer/Songwriter John Prine who turned 62 today and Country Singer Tanya Tucker who just turned the Big Five-Oh.
David Lee Roth of Van Halen is 54.
David Lee Roth of Van Halen is 54.
Beaver hunt
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said, "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake he came across a very large beaver sitting at the water's edge.
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't shoot the creature but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.
Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point precisely".
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake he came across a very large beaver sitting at the water's edge.
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't shoot the creature but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.
Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point precisely".
Some conditions you don't want to cure
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking ever more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you ok?"
"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"
The woman nodded, "Pepper."
The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking ever more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you ok?"
"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"
The woman nodded, "Pepper."
Lifesaving bacon
A farmer was in the bar bragging about his pig. "That animal saved my life twice," he said. "Once I fell into the river and he jumped in and dragged me to the bank. Another time my house caught on fire and he ran in and saved me, the wife and kids." The farmer passes around a picture of the miraculous animal.
One of the guys notices the pig is missing a leg. "Which accident did the pig lose its leg in?" he asks.
"Neither," the farmer replied. "An animal like that you don't eat all at once!"
One of the guys notices the pig is missing a leg. "Which accident did the pig lose its leg in?" he asks.
"Neither," the farmer replied. "An animal like that you don't eat all at once!"
Start 'em hating while they're young
There's nothing funny at all about this picture.
Any parent that would try to push their prejudices on their kids ought to be shot.
Gotta be California (again)
An interracial gay wedding cake.......
I bet somebody's mother is real happy right now.
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