Thursday, December 25, 2008

Franklin and Santa


My bud Brian's boy. Brian's a winner and Franklin will be too.
Thanks, Brian.

My day

I had a good Christmas today. Hell it would've been a good day even if it wasn't Christmas.
I rolled my butt out of the rack at 4 AM, grabbed my trappins and headed for the lake in search of the elusive Big Ass Trout. I knew it was going to be rough when I threw my cooler in the back of the truck and it hit with a splash instead of a thud. No big deal, I've been wet before.
What I didn't count on was the wind. A cold wind. An ass numbing wind, even with long johns, insulated bibs and rain gear.
When I finally got there it was still dark and the wind was just howling across the water. I'm not joking when it was howling, there were 3 foot whitecaps when dawn broke.
I tied on a spinner and headed down to my favorite spot. It was so windy that when I cast, my lure landed at my feet. Hmmm, this was going to take a little timing on my part, so when the wind would die down for a moment (and I do mean a moment), I'd cast, retrieve, then wait for it do die down again.
I caught 6 fish over 4 hours although none were what I would call BATs. The smallest was about 15 inches and 2 1/2 pounds, 4 were right at 18 inches and 3 pounds, and the biggest was 22 inches and might've gone a tad over 4 pounds. All were hooked cleanly and released for me to catch next year.
I got back home and showered, then went to Mom & Dad's for some dinner. Mom always puts on a good feed for Christmas and this year was no exception. Wild Boar tenderloins, ham, chops, thick cut bacon (Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon) for me, venison steaks, potato salad, macaroni salad, finger foods, fruit salads and about 5 different pies.
Even though I asked them as I have for the past 25 years to skip getting me gifts and spend their money on their grandbabies, Dad handed me a box. Inside was a balaclava, some thick wool socks and silk liners to keep my footses warm when I'm freezing my ass off fishing, and some cotton PJ bottoms.
PJs? I gave Dad that WTF look while hugging Mom. Shit, I haven't worn jammies since.... Hell, I ain't never worn PJs. Dad told me to shut the fuck up, they were "lounging" pants to wear when I was relaxing around the house.
That's what I got my cammo pants for, but I got 'em home, washed 'em and yes, I'll admit I'm wearing them now and I'll be damned if they don't feel surprisingly fine.
I ain't answering the door in them though.

Man's best friend

Who is your real friend?
Your dog.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment:
Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you??

Thanks, Brian

Straight up White Trash, God bless 'em


Bathrooms


Cutie Pie


She can cook too?????


Gotta be California (again)


When ya gotta go, ya gotta go


For Deb


Boys will be boys





White trash car alarm


Air conditioning the hard way


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas, Ladies


Merry Christmas, Guys


Please don't fart


Gotta be California (again)


A true outhouse


Talk about lazy......


Bad-ass lightning


OH FUCK!!!!!!!


Straight up White Trash, God bless 'em


Boys will be boys







Hold on, I think I have a 10 spot for ya, Bro.


Geriatric eye exam (or) How to be cruel to old guys


Payday

Payday was today.
We have over 300 employees in my warehouse alone and maybe 20 bosses. Unless you deal with a boss directly, have been there a long time, or have made either a real good or real bad impression, most of them don't know the employee by their full name.
So, when it's time to get paid, everybody lines up in the office and recites their name. The boss shuffles through the checks and then gives the guy his pay.
Today it went like this:
"NEXT!"
"Pedro Rodriquez." He gets his check.
"Merry Christmas, Pedro. NEXT!"
"Jim Johnson." He gets his check.
"Merry Christmas, Jimmy. NEXT!"
"Juan Gonzales." He gets his check.
"Merry Christmas, Juan. NEXT!"
I stepped up.
"Gimme my fucking money."
"Merry Christmas, Ken. NEXT!"

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My long lost son


Straight up White Trash, God bless 'em


Wait'll she notices the crowd behind her once she goes outside


Ya think?


Gotta be California (again)


From Yolo - Whereabouts unkown

just checked into your site for first time, am 48 yrs. old and can tell we have the same type of warped humor, wow what DID happen during the 60's??!! will bookmark and come back,
peace out,
yolo

Man, I don't know about the 60s, but I'm placing the blame on the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond.
And bookmarks are a blogger's highest compliment!

Been there done that


How 'bout "Fuck you" to both?


Monday, December 22, 2008

Ouch!!!!!!

A man was in bed with his new girlfriend. After having had great sex, she spent the next hour just massaging his nuts, something she seemed to love to do.
As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, "Why do you love doing that?"
"Because," she replied, "since the operation, I really miss mine."

Thanks, Ibeam. I think.

Little Johnny follows directions well


A slip of the hand? I think not....


Fugly


Gotta be California (again)


Nice try, Darlin'


Straight up White Trash, God bless 'em


God Bless Texas


Hahahaha!!!!!


HEY!!! I'm fucking hungry, dammit! Quit teasing me!


Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....


My long lost son


Your 40 acres and a mule are on the way