Sunday, January 18, 2009

I died and went to heaven

They built a Bass Pro store last year about 10 miles up the road.
Now I have catalogue shopped and bought stuff from Bass Pro online for years but until yesterday, I had never been inside a store like that before. Not Bass Pro or the new Cabelas in Boomtown. As a matter of fact, when I went to Carson City a few weeks back, I had to cross my legs to keep from pissing myself just to keep from pulling into Boomtown for a restroom break.
Why have I resisted so much? Well, I could tell you that I do ALL my trading in local businesses but the fact of the matter is, I didn't think my heart could take the shock of seeing a store bigger than a Wal-Mart devoted to nothing but hunting and fishing shit. Not to mention the shock on my bank account.
Yesterday I took the plunge. I went and picked up Dad and we drove to Manteca to the new Bass Pro. Hey, I was acting cool, making casual conversation but inside I was like a kid on Christmas Eve.
We got there and I parked at the far end of the parking lot so Dad could have a few tokes (puffs?) on his pipe and I could calm down a bit.
As soon as I hit the door, my breath left me. I could not fucking believe my eyes!!! A rock wall on the far side of the store with sheep mounts in natural poses. Deer and elk heads lining the walls.
A huge aquarium filled with monster bass, stripers, catfish and sturgeon. Stuffed animals everywhere. Racks bristling with thousands of rods. A clothing shop. A gunshop upstairs. An archery range. Anything and everything a person could want.
I turned to Dad (he was just grinning at me - he'd been there before) and asked "Where's the bathrooms?"
"You got to go again?" he asked.
"Nah, I need to go beat off. This is fucking great!"
A sales clerk passing by overheard it and started laughing and pointed me the way to the bathrooms. I thanked her and started wandering.
I was really surprised at all the women that were in there and you could tell they were there for themselves, not their men. It's nice to know that the ladies are just as involved at this stuff as I am. Maybe I'll start hanging out there so I can find a sweetie to fish and shoot with.
We spent 3 short hours just looking and picking up a few odds and ends. I needed some sling swivels, wool socks, and if I could find it, some 41 magnum brass.
I got everything and more that I was looking for except for the brass. I know, that's what I get for shooting an off caliber. And believe it or not, I was only down $150 at the end of the day. But damn, what a day.