(A few years ago I was working at a video store when there were still late fees, and this exchange occurred after I scanned a couple's rentals)
Me: "Okay, sir, with the late fee from your last rental, your total is $9.50."
Husband: "What do you mean a late fee? I ALWAYS return my movies on time, so you need to remove that late fee right now!"
Me: "Well sir, you returned–"
Husband: "I said I ALWAYS return my movies on time and you need to remove that late fee right now! I'm not paying this!"
Me: "Then you won't be renting these movies tonight. All late fees must be paid before renting again."
Husband: "I'm NOT paying this, so you better take it off now!"
Wife: "What movie is this late fee for anyway? We ALWAYS return our movies on time!"
Me: "This is for runaway bride with Julia Roberts. You rented it on the 6th and it was due on the 11th, but you didn't return it until the 15th. "
Husband: "Oh yeah, that's right, we never got around to watching it. I'll pay for it."
Wife: "We never rented runaway bride and I was out of town on the 6th."
Me: "Well, ma'am, it's showing that Jennifer rented the title."
Wife: "Who is Jennifer?" *pauses and her face becomes red* "Oh, that b***h!"
(the wife proceeds to slap her husband, takes the keys and drives away, leaving her husband in the store.)
Husband: "Well, I guess I deserved that, huh?"
Me: "Sir, you put your mistress on your account?"
Husband: "Yeah, she likes movies…"
Me: "You are aware that she could have opened her own account for free, right?"
Husband: "Oh s***, really?"