At a high school in Montana a group of students played a prank on the school. They let three goats loose in the school. Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2 and 4. Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3.
The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense (waiting for attack). Hit them first and hit them hard. No mercy, no quarter. Front sight, press. Repeat as necessary. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.
Okay, I don't know what the fuck the deal is, but every year about this time I get a yearning for some mountains and air that ain't been breathed before. This year isn't any different. I miss Sonora Pass so damned bad...... The bad part is that the Pass usually doesn't open until Mother's Day. Maybe this year will be different seeing as we've had a light snowpack this winter.
Hey folks, Heard from a guy that runs a great blog - funny as hell, our kind of people. I like it so much that I added him to my blog roll and am even giving him a special mention. Check out his site when you get a minute. Http://scottstipoftheday.blogspot.com Thanks, Wirecutter
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of a copper-wire system dating back 100 years, and they came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: ' California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper-wire system and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.' One week later, 'The Redneck Rebel Gazette' in West Virginia reported the following: After digging as deep as 30 feet in a cornfield, Bubba Ray Johnson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, West Virginia had already gone wireless.
They built a Bass Pro store last year about 10 miles up the road. Now I have catalogue shopped and bought stuff from Bass Pro online for years but until yesterday, I had never been inside a store like that before. Not Bass Pro or the new Cabelas in Boomtown. As a matter of fact, when I went to Carson City a few weeks back, I had to cross my legs to keep from pissing myself just to keep from pulling into Boomtown for a restroom break. Why have I resisted so much? Well, I could tell you that I do ALL my trading in local businesses but the fact of the matter is, I didn't think my heart could take the shock of seeing a store bigger than a Wal-Mart devoted to nothing but hunting and fishing shit. Not to mention the shock on my bank account. Yesterday I took the plunge. I went and picked up Dad and we drove to Manteca to the new Bass Pro. Hey, I was acting cool, making casual conversation but inside I was like a kid on Christmas Eve. We got there and I parked at the far end of the parking lot so Dad could have a few tokes (puffs?) on his pipe and I could calm down a bit. As soon as I hit the door, my breath left me. I could not fucking believe my eyes!!! A rock wall on the far side of the store with sheep mounts in natural poses. Deer and elk heads lining the walls. A huge aquarium filled with monster bass, stripers, catfish and sturgeon. Stuffed animals everywhere. Racks bristling with thousands of rods. A clothing shop. A gunshop upstairs. An archery range. Anything and everything a person could want. I turned to Dad (he was just grinning at me - he'd been there before) and asked "Where's the bathrooms?" "You got to go again?" he asked. "Nah, I need to go beat off. This is fucking great!" A sales clerk passing by overheard it and started laughing and pointed me the way to the bathrooms. I thanked her and started wandering. I was really surprised at all the women that were in there and you could tell they were there for themselves, not their men. It's nice to know that the ladies are just as involved at this stuff as I am. Maybe I'll start hanging out there so I can find a sweetie to fish and shoot with. We spent 3 short hours just looking and picking up a few odds and ends. I needed some sling swivels, wool socks, and if I could find it, some 41 magnum brass. I got everything and more that I was looking for except for the brass. I know, that's what I get for shooting an off caliber. And believe it or not, I was only down $150 at the end of the day. But damn, what a day.
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune and fun. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted a strikingly beautiful woman. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.' Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless." With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, baby….Southern Girl needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down….and squealed… "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers…and then picked up her many chips and her clothes, and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, " I don't know.. I thought you were watching."
Moral - Not all Southerners are stupid. Not all blondes are dumb. But all men…..are men.