From Susan
Sunday, March 01, 2009
You may be a Taliban if....
You may be a taliban if......
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least two.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
-Tattoo Jim
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least two.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
-Tattoo Jim
Uh-oh.....
ALWAYS tie the dog to the driver's side wheel so you don't forget him. But if you do forget, drive by my house so I can have a good laugh. I hate poodles.....
Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers
# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.
# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.
# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.
# 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at the same time.
# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.
# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.
# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.
# 3 - No Cadillacs approved for competition.
# 2 - When they crash their cars, they bail out & run.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR...
# 1 - They Can't wear their helmets sideways.
-David Letterman
# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.
# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.
# 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at the same time.
# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.
# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.
# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.
# 3 - No Cadillacs approved for competition.
# 2 - When they crash their cars, they bail out & run.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR...
# 1 - They Can't wear their helmets sideways.
-David Letterman
Friday, February 27, 2009
Gone for the weekend
Check this shit out.
My Sweetie is here and is planning to spend the weekend and do all kinds of neat things to me so I will be (ahem) busy.
See ya'll Sunday night.
-Wirecutter
My Sweetie is here and is planning to spend the weekend and do all kinds of neat things to me so I will be (ahem) busy.
See ya'll Sunday night.
-Wirecutter
Thursday, February 26, 2009
My favorite new site
Lots of babes, videos and other cool stuff.
http://www.what-a-weirdo-world.info/
http://www.what-a-weirdo-world.info/
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Fuck you Obama, you Socialist cocksucker!!
I'm sorry, but I just feel better when I say shit like that.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Check out the tail number on the new Air Force One
Click to enlarge
Yolo, you're getting me in trouble!!!
Been there, done that
Something tells me that this is a posed picture. All the cans are upright and not a puddle of puke in sight. Maybe they're just a bunch of lightweight pussies. What do you think, Ibeam?
Monday, February 23, 2009
Read this, Obama
"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."
Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson
For Ibeam the Mullet Hunter
GREEN BAY, Wis. (AP) -- The hairstyle is short on the top and long in the back, and in Green Bay the mullet has it's very own street signs - at least when the signs haven't been stolen. Mullet Place may not be named for the kind of hair design that became popular a few decades ago, but fans apparently like to grab the signs anyway because they disappear several times a year.
"We've gone through a lot of Mullet Place signs," said Chris Pirlot of the city Public Works Department. "My only guess is that people are still in love with the '70s and '80s when the mullet haircut was prominent. I don't know."
At times, every sign on the two-block street has been gone, frustrating some residents.
"When you tell somebody directions how to get to your place, you've got to tell them it's the third road on the left, because there's no sign to tell them how to get to Mullet Place," said Richard Fleischfresser.
The city has attempted to stop the thievery by mounting the signs beyond anyone's reach, about 20 feet from the ground.
"We've gone through a lot of Mullet Place signs," said Chris Pirlot of the city Public Works Department. "My only guess is that people are still in love with the '70s and '80s when the mullet haircut was prominent. I don't know."
At times, every sign on the two-block street has been gone, frustrating some residents.
"When you tell somebody directions how to get to your place, you've got to tell them it's the third road on the left, because there's no sign to tell them how to get to Mullet Place," said Richard Fleischfresser.
The city has attempted to stop the thievery by mounting the signs beyond anyone's reach, about 20 feet from the ground.
Kids ain't REAL stupid
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know" he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
"You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know" he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
Where Lingling head?
This just goes to show ya, when your neighbor tells you to "shut that fucking dog up" before he rips its head off, take heed.
Thanks, Yolo
Heh heh heh.....
Sorry Lulabelle, I know this is your favorite strip but I just had to post this one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)