Look. A camel toe!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Why Arizona doesn't have Daylight Savings Time
The state of Arizona listened to the Wise Old Indian...
When told the reason for daylight saving time the old Indian said, "Only a white man would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket and sew it to the bottom of a blanket and have a longer blanket."
When told the reason for daylight saving time the old Indian said, "Only a white man would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket and sew it to the bottom of a blanket and have a longer blanket."
Sunday, March 15, 2009
PC my ass!
A Mexican, a Black, and a Texan were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand.
He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.
"I can only grant three wishes," the Genie said. "Since there are three of you, you may have a wish apiece." Pointing at the Black, he said, "Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish."
The Black studied for a moment then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa."
Poof! It was done! Hundreds of ships appeared on the skyline.
The Mexican said, "I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my people back to our homeland, May-he-co!"
Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet Pickups appeared on the beach.
Turning to the Texan, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish?"
The Texan watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing off into the sunset and said, "Just give me a Bud Light. It doesn't get any better than this!"
Thanks Yolo. You rock!!
He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.
"I can only grant three wishes," the Genie said. "Since there are three of you, you may have a wish apiece." Pointing at the Black, he said, "Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish."
The Black studied for a moment then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa."
Poof! It was done! Hundreds of ships appeared on the skyline.
The Mexican said, "I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my people back to our homeland, May-he-co!"
Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet Pickups appeared on the beach.
Turning to the Texan, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish?"
The Texan watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing off into the sunset and said, "Just give me a Bud Light. It doesn't get any better than this!"
Thanks Yolo. You rock!!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Yum! Extra flavor!
Lookin for some bacon grease to fry your eggs up for breakfast!
Thanks again, Yolo!
Grandpa
Grandpa Bud made it out of surgery and is doing well. Thanks to all of you and your kind thoughts.
Bet the motherfucker is back to eating bacon sandwiches within a week of being released.
Bet the motherfucker is back to eating bacon sandwiches within a week of being released.
Life's cruel lessons
Okay, I just discovered that snapping a fly off the screen door from the dining room with a bullwhip is NOT a good idea. Now I have to buy a new screen and my nuts sting like a motherfucker.
Sorry 'bout that
Sorry about the lack of posts yesterday but my Granddad was hospitalized with severe heart problems. Tests were run, and it was found that all of his arteries were clogged completely except for one and it was clogged 95%.
Too much bacon (Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....), I reckon.
Anyways, he's scheduled for surgery today to give him a stint but because of his age, condition and previous bypass surgeries, it doesn't look good for him. They don't expect him to survive the surgery.
I'll keep y'all posted.
-Wirecutter
Too much bacon (Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....), I reckon.
Anyways, he's scheduled for surgery today to give him a stint but because of his age, condition and previous bypass surgeries, it doesn't look good for him. They don't expect him to survive the surgery.
I'll keep y'all posted.
-Wirecutter
Reminds me of my Punkindog
Now if he would just fetch....
Sorry Tattoo Jim, I didn't mean to steal your comment.
I don't care for Rush Limbaugh, but.....
Love him or loathe him, he nailed this one right on the head..........
By Rush Limbaugh:
I think the vast differences in compensation between victims of the September 11 casualty and those who die serving our country in Uniform are profound. No one is really talking about it either, because you just don't criticize anything having to do with September 11. Well, I can't let the numbers pass by because it says something really disturbing about the entitlement mentality of this country. If you lost a family member in the September 11 attack, you're going to get an average of $1,185,000. The range is a minimum guarantee of$250,000, all the way up to $4.7 million.?If you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed in action, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit, half of which is taxable.
By Rush Limbaugh:
I think the vast differences in compensation between victims of the September 11 casualty and those who die serving our country in Uniform are profound. No one is really talking about it either, because you just don't criticize anything having to do with September 11. Well, I can't let the numbers pass by because it says something really disturbing about the entitlement mentality of this country. If you lost a family member in the September 11 attack, you're going to get an average of $1,185,000. The range is a minimum guarantee of$250,000, all the way up to $4.7 million.?If you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed in action, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit, half of which is taxable.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
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