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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Oh yeah. She's pissed.


Thanks, Mom

40 things every drunk should in his lifetime

1.) Open and close a bar.
2.) Go on a bender.
3.) Drink a fifth of hard liquor, by yourself, in one day.
4.) Dance like a fool in front of a large hooting crowd.
5.) Spend a night in the drunk tank.
6.) Get drunk on the grave of your hero.
7.) Buy a crowded bar a round.
8.) Embark on an impromptu road trip.
9.) Get 86’d from a bar.
10.) Extravagantly overtip a bartender.
11.) Walk up to an attractive stranger way out of your league and buy him or her a drink.
12.) Conspire an afterhours at your favorite bar.
13.) Make your best friend a perfect martini.
14.) Buy, build or steal a home bar.
15.) Get carried home by your drinking buddies.
16.) Get drunk with your father.
17.) Fight a good fight.
18.) Visit the source of your favorite beer, wine or liquor.
19.) Drunkenly watch the sun come up with your best boozing buddies and a bottle.
20.) Sit in on an A.A. meeting.
21.) Hit a dozen bars in one night.
22.) Try at least one hundred different drinks.
23.) Get loaded in the land of your forefathers.
24.) Juice on the job.
25.) Split a magnum of expensive champagne with your true love.
26.) Give a hobo twenty bucks.
27.) Get loaded and tell your boss exactly how you feel.
28.) Send a friend a bottle of good liquor.
29.) Eat a pickled egg from the big jar.
30.) Go on a fishing trip with your pals.
31.) Eat the worm.
32.) Learn at least one traditional drinking song.
33.) Steal some booze.
34.) Spend half a paycheck on a single bottle of liquor.
35.) Start your long-awaited and very personal autobiography: Me and the Booze: A Love Story. 36.) Try absinthe.
37.) Watch the movie Barfly with five of your closest friends.
38.) Work at least a week as a bartender.
39.) Make your own beer, wine or moonshine.
40.) Go to your place of worship loaded.

Fuck, I've done 32 of these. I got some catching up to do......
www.bitsandpieces.us

I'm joining you in hell, Lula!


Hahahahaha!!!!!


Ain't that the fucking truth....


Well???

Tattoo Jim, are you still alive? Haven't heard from you in a while.....

A threesome???


Straight Up White Trash - God Bless Her


Oh yeah. I'm scared.


Been there, done that


Back away very slowly, guys


-Yolo

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Marilyn Chambers dead at 56

On April 12, 2009, 10 days before her 57th birthday, Adult Film Star Marilyn Chambers was found unresponsive at her home; she was discovered by her daughter, authorities said.
Marilyn Chambers was best known for her role in "Behind The Green Door".

Monday, April 13, 2009

You were warned


Driver's medicated too.

Yummy!!!


FUCK YOU, OBAMA!!!

There. I feel better now.

Islam

Islam is not a religion, nor is it a cult. In its fullest form, it is a complete, total, 100% system of life.
Islam has religious, legal, political, economic, social, and military components. The religious component is a beard for all of the other components.

Islamization begins when there are sufficient Muslims in a country to agitate for their religious privileges.

When politically correct, tolerant, and culturally diverse societies agree to Muslim demands for their religious privileges, some of the other components tend to creep in as well.
Here's how it works.

As long as the Muslim population remains around or under 2% in any given country, they will be for the most part be regarded as a peace-loving minority, and not as a threat to other citizens. This is the case in:

United States -- Muslim 0.6%
Australia -- Muslim 1.5%
Canada -- Muslim 1.9%
China -- Muslim 1.8%
Italy -- Muslim 1.5%
Norway -- Muslim 1.8%

At 2% to 5%, they begin to proselytize from other ethnic minorities and disaffected groups, often with major recruiting from the jails and among street gangs. This is happening in:

Denmark -- Muslim 2%
Germany -- Muslim 3.7%
United Kingdom -- Muslim 2.7%
Spain -- Muslim 4%
Thailand -- Muslim 4.6%

From 5% on, they exercise an inordinate influence in proportion to their percentage of the population. For example, they will push for the introduction of halal (clean by Islamic standards) food, thereby securing food preparation jobs for Muslims. They will increase pressure on supermarket chains to feature halal on their shelves -- along with threats for failure to comply. This is occurring in:

France -- Muslim 8%
Philippines -- Muslim 5%
Sweden -- Muslim 5%
Switzerland -- Muslim 4.3%
The Netherlands -- Muslim 5.5%
Trinidad & Tobago -- Muslim 5.8%

At this point, they will work to get the ruling government to allow them to rule themselves (within their ghettos) under Sharia, the Islamic Law. The ultimate goal of Islamists is to establish Sharia law over the entire world.

When Muslims approach 10% of the population, they tend to increase lawlessness as a means of complaint about their conditions. In Paris , we are already seeing car-burnings. Any non-Muslim action offends Islam, and results in uprisings and threats, such as in Amsterdam , with opposition to Mohammed cartoons and films about Islam. Such tensions are seen daily, particularly in Muslim sections, in:
Guyana -- Muslim 10%
India -- Muslim 13.4%
Israel -- Muslim 16%
Kenya -- Muslim 10%
Russia -- Muslim 15%

After reaching 20%, nations can expect hair-trigger rioting, jihad militia formations, sporadic killings, and the burnings of Christian churches and Jewish synagogues, such as in:

Ethiopia -- Muslim 32.8%

At 40%, nations experience widespread massacres, chronic terror attacks, and ongoing militia warfare, such as in:

Bosnia -- Muslim 40%
Chad -- Muslim 53.1%
Lebanon -- Muslim 59.7%

From 60%, nations experience unfettered persecution of non-believers of all other religions (including non-conforming Muslims), sporadic ethnic cleansing (genocide), use of Sharia Law as a weapon, and Jizya, the tax placed on infidels, such as in:

Albania -- Muslim 70%
Malaysia -- Muslim 60.4%
Qatar -- Muslim 77.5%
Sudan -- Muslim 70%

After 80%, expect daily intimidation and violent jihad, some State-run ethnic cleansing, and even some genocide, as these nations drive out the infidels, and move toward 100% Muslim, such as has been experienced and in some ways is on-going in:

Bangladesh -- Muslim 83%
Egypt -- Muslim 90%
Gaza -- Muslim 98.7%
Indonesia -- Muslim 86.1%
Iran -- Muslim 98%
Iraq -- Muslim 97%
Jordan -- Muslim 92%
Morocco -- Muslim 98.7%
Pakistan -- Muslim 97%
Palestine -- Muslim 99%
Syria -- Muslim 90%
Tajikistan -- Muslim 90%
Turkey -- Muslim 99.8%
United Arab Emirates -- Muslim 96%

100% will usher in the peace of 'Dar-es-Salaam' -- the Islamic House of Peace. Here there's supposed to be peace, because everybody is a Muslim, the Madrasses are the only schools, and the Koran is the only word, such as in:

Afghanistan -- Muslim 100%
Saudi Arabia -- Muslim 100%
Somalia -- Muslim 100%
Yemen -- Muslim 100%

Unfortunately, peace is never achieved, as in these 100% states the most radical Muslims intimidate and spew hatred, and satisfy their blood lust by killing less radical Muslims, for a variety of reasons.

'Before I was nine I had learned the basic canon of Arab life. It was me against my brother; me and my brother against our father; my family against my cousins and the clan; the clan against the tribe; the tribe against the world, and all of us against the infidel. -- Leon Uris, 'The Haj'

It is important to understand that in some countries, with well under 100% Muslim populations, such as France, the minority Muslim populations live in ghettos, within which they are 100% Muslim, and within which they live by Sharia Law. The national police do not even enter these ghettos. There are no national courts, nor schools, nor non-Muslim religious facilities. In such situations, Muslims do not integrate into the community at large. The children attend madrasses. They learn only the Koran. To even associate with an infidel is a crime punishable with death. Therefore, in some areas of certain nations, Muslim Imams and extremists exercise more power than the national average would indicate.

Today's 1.5 billion Muslims make up 22% of the world's population. But their birth rates dwarf the birth rates of Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, and all other believers. Muslims will exceed 50% of the world's population by the end of this century.

Adapted from Dr. Peter Hammond's book: Slavery, Terrorism and Islam: The Historical Roots and Contemporary Threat

***Via email from Royboy***

Multi-tasking at it's finest


Waste not, want not


I actually saw something like this once. A flatbed hauling Bud dumped it's load on Highway 99 just north of Bakersfield and caused the biggest fucking traffic jam you ever saw. The foam and glass on the road was bad enough, but all the cars pulling over and the drivers heaving cases of Bud into their trunks didn't help matters any. I got several cases myself....

Ya think?


Tattoo Jim loves ya, Baby!


From Tattoo Jim and right back at 'im.

Or eat it here


Oh, those little scamps!


Thanks, Driver!

Yeah, it's all about me....


-Yolo

Friday, April 10, 2009

And you're not gonna puke like Daddy does


Thanks, Driver!

Oh great. Now we gotta give 'em cows?

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And they tracked her calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country?
Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

Thanks, LT

Another blog I like

Good pictures and some funny shit. Give it a whirl.
http://nvrslowdn.blogspot.com/

He called me Sir???

Sir, truly appreciate your brand of humor. Thank you.
Has anyone had the foresight to christen our current leader as such: Li'l Mao-Mao?
If not, I'd like to take credit. If this is redundant, I apologize.
Keep up the good work, of keeping us laughing when there's little to laugh about.

This was a comment I got via email.
I like that, William. Li'l Mao-Mao. Not bad.....

Yeah. I know.



Thanks for reminding us, Yolo.

Uh, no. No, you're not.


I KNEW IT!!!!!!!

Bacon sandwich really does cure a hangover
A bacon sandwich really does cure a hangover - by boosting the level of amines which clear the head, scientists have found.
Researchers claim food also speeds up the metabolism helping the body get rid of the booze more quickly.
Elin Roberts, of Newcastle University's Centre for Life said: "Food doesn't soak up the alcohol but it does increase your metabolism helping you deal with the after-effects of over indulgence. So food will often help you feel better.
"Bread is high in carbohydrates and bacon is full of protein, which breaks down into amino acids. Your body needs these amino acids, so eating them will make you feel good."
Ms Roberts told The Mirror: "Bingeing on alcohol depletes neurotransmitters too, but bacon contains a high level of aminos which tops these up, giving you a clearer head."
Researchers also found a complex chemical interaction in the cooking of bacon produces the winning combination of taste and smell which is almost irresistible.
The reaction between amino acids in the bacon and reducing sugars in the fat is what provides the sandwich with its appeal.
Ms Roberts said: "The smell of sizzling bacon in a pan is enough to tempt even the staunchest of vegetarians. There's something deeper going on inside. It's not just the idea of a tasty snack. There is some complex chemistry going on.
"Meat is made of mostly protein and water. Inside the protein, it's made up of building blocks we call amino acids. But also, you need some fat. Anyone who's been on a diet knows if you take all the fat from the meat, it just doesn't taste the same. We need some of the fat to give it the flavour."
She explained that the reaction released hundreds of smells and flavours but it is the smell which reels in the eater. "Smell and taste are really closely linked," she said. "If we couldn't smell then taste wouldn't be the same."


Thanks, Beverly!!!!
I'm going to get hammered tonight and try it out tomorrow.

MINE, DAMMIT!!!!!


Those are actually her husband's legs....


Whoops!


Shoot him again, Sis!


Let a White Boy name his store this and watch it burn to the ground


Hey, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go!


Go ahead. I fucking dare you!


Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon......


Thanks to John, Yolo, Tattoo Jim, Kousin Karl, Mom, and the other couple of hundred folks that thought of me when they saw this.