Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Dumbass.....
You've heard the expression "Shot myself in the foot"?
Here it is in living color.
-Kousin Karl
Monday, June 01, 2009
We're from the government and we're here to help you
WASHINGTON – In a defining moment for American capitalism, President Barack Obama ushered General Motors Corp. into bankruptcy protection Monday and put the government behind the wheel of the company that once symbolized the nation's economic muscle.
The fallen giant, the largest U.S. industrial company ever to enter bankruptcy, is shedding some 21,000 jobs and 2,600 dealers. Sparing few communities, the retrenchment amounts to one-third of its U.S. work force and 40 percent of its dealerships.
"We are acting as reluctant shareholders because that is the only way to help GM succeed," Obama said of the temporary nationalization of the 100-year-old company.
Obama lauded what he called a "viable, achievable plan that will give this iconic American company a chance to rise again" as GM followed Chrysler LLC into bankruptcy court. Of Detroit's "Big Three" automakers, only Ford Motor Corp. has avoided bankruptcy restructuring and has not taken federal bailout money.
The fallen giant, the largest U.S. industrial company ever to enter bankruptcy, is shedding some 21,000 jobs and 2,600 dealers. Sparing few communities, the retrenchment amounts to one-third of its U.S. work force and 40 percent of its dealerships.
"We are acting as reluctant shareholders because that is the only way to help GM succeed," Obama said of the temporary nationalization of the 100-year-old company.
Obama lauded what he called a "viable, achievable plan that will give this iconic American company a chance to rise again" as GM followed Chrysler LLC into bankruptcy court. Of Detroit's "Big Three" automakers, only Ford Motor Corp. has avoided bankruptcy restructuring and has not taken federal bailout money.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
But thanks anyway
Bubba was driving down the street looking for a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up beer and bacon!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Bubba looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Bubba looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
Groan......
A young Okie girl was getting married and her mother said "I'd better have a talk with you before your wedding night."
"Yeah ma, what do you want to talk about?" the girl asks.
"Well, on the night you get married, your husband is gonna want to put his most prized possession where you pee" the mother says.
The daughter replies "Why in the fuck would he want to put his hound dog in the sink...?"
"Yeah ma, what do you want to talk about?" the girl asks.
"Well, on the night you get married, your husband is gonna want to put his most prized possession where you pee" the mother says.
The daughter replies "Why in the fuck would he want to put his hound dog in the sink...?"
Friday, May 29, 2009
Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....
Ron from Australia thinks this is the best tattoo ever.
I gotta agree........
Ed Zachary
A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose."
The woman did as she was told.
"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."
As she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly. "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
The woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass."
Thanks Greg, ya whiney little bitch.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose."
The woman did as she was told.
"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."
As she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly. "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
The woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass."
Thanks Greg, ya whiney little bitch.
Yeah. What he said.
"It was true that I didn't have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved.
"How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?"
-- Charles Bukowski - Factotum, 1975
You don't know how much I agree with this right now, Yolo. Thanks for sending it along.
WWRD (What Would Reagan Do?)
'Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.'- Ronald Reagan
'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'-Ronald Reagan
'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.' Ronald Reagan
'Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong.'- Ronald Reagan
'I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U..S. Congress.' - Ronald Reagan
'The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.' - Ronald Reagan
'Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.' - Ronald Reagan
'The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program.' Ronald Reagan
'It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.' - Ronald Reagan
'Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it' - Ronald Reagan
'Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many rewards; if you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.' - Ronald Reagan
'No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.'- Ronald Reagan
'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.'- Ronald Reagan
Thanks, Yolo
'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'-Ronald Reagan
'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.' Ronald Reagan
'Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong.'- Ronald Reagan
'I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U..S. Congress.' - Ronald Reagan
'The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.' - Ronald Reagan
'Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.' - Ronald Reagan
'The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program.' Ronald Reagan
'It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.' - Ronald Reagan
'Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it' - Ronald Reagan
'Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many rewards; if you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.' - Ronald Reagan
'No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.'- Ronald Reagan
'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.'- Ronald Reagan
Thanks, Yolo
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....
Hmmmm, what am I gonna have for dinner? I know, I'll have some bacon pig! Yeah!!!
-Tattoo Jim
I like the chili sticking out of his butt. If that ain't class......
Thanks, TJ
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Bad day
I had a FUCKED UP day today.
Tim, one of the guys I work with was harassing me unmercifully, calling me a dumbass because he had 5 years of high school and I only had 3.
Uppity motherfucker........
Tim, one of the guys I work with was harassing me unmercifully, calling me a dumbass because he had 5 years of high school and I only had 3.
Uppity motherfucker........
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