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Friday, December 31, 2010

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Don't get too fucked up tonight and for sure don't drive if you do.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Well, of course he did.

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama has bypassed the Senate and directly appointed four new U.S. ambassadors whose nominations had been stalled or blocked by lawmakers for months.

The White House announced Wednesday that Obama would use his power to make recess appointments to fill envoy posts to Azerbaijan, Syria and NATO allies Turkey and the Czech Republic. Recess appointments are made when the Senate is not in session and last only until the end of the next session of Congress. They are frequently used when Senate confirmation is not possible.


What got my attention is an Ambassadors' posting for Syria.
We're going to have diplomatic relations with a fucking country that not only openly promotes terrorism but also has training camps on it's soil? Are you fucking kidding me, Barry?

The Tunnel

Sitting together on a train was Obama, George W. Bush, a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts.
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.
No one speaks.
The old lady thinks:
Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.
The blonde girl thinks:
Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him.
Obama thinks:
Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
George Bush thinks:
I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can slap the shit out of Obama again

-Orbitup

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

So they can grope you on the run

That'll teach him

Bacon. Mmmm, bacon.....

-Steve

I can't hold back any longer....

FUCK YOU OBAMA!!!!!

They didn't even include coyote hunters, dammit.

The World's Largest Army.
America's Hunters?

The state of Wisconsin has gone an entire deer hunting season without someone getting killed. That's great. There were over 600,000 hunters. Allow me to restate that number. Over the last two months, the eighth largest army in the world - more men under arms than Iran; more than France and Germany combined - deployed to the woods of a single American state to help keep the deer menace at bay. But that pales in comparison to the 750,000 who are in the woods of Pennsylvania this week. Michigan 's 700,000 hunters have now returned home. Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia , and it is literally the case that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the largest army in the world. America will forever be safe from foreign invasion of troops with that kind of home-grown firepower.

Hunting - it's not just a way to fill the freezer. It's a matter of national security!

Now you know why the liberal anti-gun group wants to take the guns away.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Debs' Nutjob





www.debbiedoesdrivel.com

Manual adjustment

Thanks to Tom and Yolo for that little tease

I should've been a sailor


The U. S. S. Constitution (Old Ironsides), as a combat vessel, carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (i.e. fresh water distillers).

However, let it be noted that according to her ship's log, "On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum."
Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping."

Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum.
Then she headed for the Azores , arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.
On 18 November, she set sail for England . In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchant ships, salvaging only the rum aboard each.
By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland . Her landing party captured a whisky distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn. Then she headed home.

The U. S. S. Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whisky, and 38,600 gallons of water.

GO NAVY!



Suicide bombers a dud......

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut this February, from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth."

Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."

Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England , Ireland , Wales , and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as "there are no virgins in their areas anyway."

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise.

-Thanks to Balloon2

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Put me in charge

This was in the Waco Tribune Herald, Waco , TX 18 Nov 2010




Put me in charge ...
Put me in charge of food stamps. I’d get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I’d do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we’ll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your “home” will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good.”

Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules.. Before you say that this would be “demeaning” and ruin their “self esteem,” consider that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

Alfred W. Evans, Gatesville


Thanks to Orbitup for passing that on.

Adams' dog Billie

This is Billie. She is a four year old schnoodle that loves to play fetch, drink beer, and bark at our neighbors. She's a damn good dog.

Don't fuck with South African cops!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Why you don't juggle bowling balls

All I got to say is Holy Shit.

Again. Don't ask if you don't want to know.

Janet the Traffic clerk at work asked me today what I had planned  for Christmas.
"I was thinking about coyote hunting in the morning and then over to the folks' house that evening" I said.
She acted all shocked. "Oh no, you can't kill on Christmas Day!"
I thought about it for a second. "Yeah, you're right. Maybe I'll just wound a few."
Fucking woman has no sense of humor at all.

Bite me, Janet

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, leaving the funeral of a murdered Border Patrol agent Wednesday, scolded a reporter for asking her to address the victim's family's concerns that not enough is being done to secure the southern border.
The family of agent Brian Terry had complained that Napolitano had offered them "empty words" when she called to express her condolences. Terry's father, Kent Terry, in an interview with ABC affiliate KGUN, said he told Napolitano to "wake your man up in the White House," to which she replied that he's done more in two years than any president.
Read the rest:
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/12/23/napolitano-scolds-reporter-airing-complaints-dead-border-agents-family/

The press is NOT your friend

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.

Katie Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken.'
The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'

Charlie Gibson said, 'I'm living in' New York , so I'd like to hear the song, The Moon and Me, one last time.'
The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied.

Brian Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.'
The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. He then said, 'Now I can die happy.'

The leader turned and asked, 'And now, Mr.. U..S. Marine, what is your final wish?'
'Kick me in the ass,' said the Marine...
'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?'
'No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass' insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead.
In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took, sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11.
In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass?'
'What?' replied the Marine, 'and have you three assholes report that I was the aggressor.....?'

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A kiss

And a Camel Toe.
Good morning.

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

Woody met me in the locker room where I take my breaks and handed me a package in Christmas wrapping. Now, I'm not a present kind of person - it embarrasses the fuck out of me to both give and recieve gifts, so I just don't do either. But I could tell by the look on his face that I was gonna enjoy this so I rolled with it.
"Holy shit, what the hell is this?" asked me.
"Bacon. Praline bacon. My wife saw the recipe, knew you liked bacon so she made you a batch!" Woody says. "It looks kinda funny but hey! it ain't bad."
"I love your wife, Bro. I truly do."
We carried on about it for a few more minutes then Woody split. I looked up from my book, said fuck it, opened the package and snatched a piece.
Not bad don't describe it. It fucking rocked. You get the sugary caramel praline taste and right at the end, you hit that smoky bacon flavor.
I ate four pieces in a row.
Let me put it this way: That shit was so good I shared it with the traffic clerks in the office. That's right, I shared some bacon.
Fuck, just talking about it has me wanting more. Good thing Daryn made me a bunch......

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Merry Christmas, Mohammed!




































Thanks, Bella! This fucking rocked!

Don't ask if you don't want to know

5,000 men surveyed were asked Why they like blowjobs?

1 % liked the warmth
2 % liked the sensation.
3 % liked the eroticism.
94 % just liked the peace and quiet

-Stevienatt

Defiant looking little shit, ain't he?




































-Yolo

Oh, that is fucked up.

An Okie went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby.
Upon arriving the Nurse says "Congratulations, your wife has had quints, 5 big baby boys."
The Redneck says "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney."
The nurse replies "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, the babies are all black."

-Yolo

How many Senators and Congresscritters can pass?

MIAMI – Nearly one-fourth of the students who try to join the U.S. Army fail its entrance exam, painting a grim picture of an education system that produces graduates who can't answer basic math, science and reading questions, according to a new study released Tuesday.

The report by The Education Trust bolsters a growing worry among military and education leaders that the pool of young people qualified for military service will grow too small.

"Too many of our high school students are not graduating ready to begin college or a career — and many are not eligible to serve in our armed forces," U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan told the AP. "I am deeply troubled by the national security burden created by America's underperforming education system."

The effect of the low eligibility rate might not be noticeable now — the Department of Defense says it is meeting its recruitment goals — but that could change as the economy improves, said retired Navy Rear Admiral Jamie Barnett.

Party til ya puke (on the guy below you)

Sunday, December 19, 2010

This is big. Real Big.

Saudi King Eyes Moving "Ground Zero" Mosque to Another Manhattan Neighborhood

A Manhattan lawyer with ties to the Saudi royal family is floating to officials and community leaders a potential plan to move the controversial Ground Zero mosque away from its proposed site near the World Trade Center to another Manhattan neighborhood.
Attorney Dudley Gaffin is claiming King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia might want to buy shuttered St. Vincent's Medical Center in the West Village and transfer the mosque to a new Islamic cultural center he would build on a plot at the site, say sources who have heard Gaffin's pitch.
The king, worth more than $20 billion, would also save the hospital, reopening most of the units that closed when St. Vincent's filed for bankruptcy on April 14, the sources said.
They say that Gaffin, who heads his own firm in lower Manhattan, is floating the idea to gauge what the reaction might be -- and to ready a bid to rival the Rudin Organization, which is trying to snap up St. Vincent's in bankruptcy court with an eye on tearing down six hospital buildings for luxury housing.
"He's asking what it would take to put in a bid," said one community leader who did not want to be identified.
"He says the king wants to do this as a PR move -- to save the hospital and move the mosque away from the World Trade Center site," the source added. "He wants to show that Muslims can do good works."

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/12/19/saudi-king-want-ground-zero-mosque-manhattans-greenwich-village-neighborhood/?test=latestnews?test=latestnews

Not being a big fan of mosques and them that worship there - call me what you will, I do not give a fuck - I'd rather not see any mosques going up but especially not the Ground Zero Mosque.
That shit shouldn't have even been proposed. If the muslims decide to move their "cultural center" to the new neighborhood, then let them.
But fuck them and their "good works". Their barbaric and murderous ways far outweigh any good work that they might be attempting to achieve by moving their center. They showed their true colors, the sorry ass bitches.
Allow me to put it in the simplest terms I can:
You shouldn't have even considered it in the first place, you stupid motherfuckers. That shit was rude.

So there it is. We don't owe the muslims shit and we damned sure don't need to act grateful to them if they decide to move their cultural center.
And Mohammed fucked a 9 year old girl and ate bacon. Amen.

Obamabucks

Typical liberal attitude - we're gonna do this and that, we don't know where the money's coming from, we'll worry about that later."

Thanks, Angry White Dude

Never trust a sailor

A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.
But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her "You have so much to live for," said the man. "Look, I'm a sailor, and we're off to Europe tomorrow, and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings food and I get a free trip to Europe."
"I see," the captain says.
"Plus," she adds, "He's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry!"

-Orbitup

Saturday, December 18, 2010

It's a guy thing

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man.
He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.
There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.
I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends.
I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low my heart was full.
As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Why can't men just ask for directions?

Thanks, Cousin Buddy.

Damn! I'm impressed!!!

Hunter Kills 104-Pound 'Unusually Large' Coyote
Coyote About 3 Years Old
POSTED: 4:56 pm CST December 13, 2010
UPDATED: 4:32 pm CST December 14, 2010

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. -- DNA testing has confirmed that a large animal shot and killed by a hunter a month ago was an "unusually large" coyote, the Missouri Department of Conservation announced Monday.
The hunter killed the animal on the opening day of Missouri's November firearms deer season on Nov. 13.
Coyotes are legal game during deer season, so the hunter shot and killed it, the department said. But when the hunter got a closer look at the animal, he wondered if he had mistakenly shot and killed a wolf, which is a protected species in Missouri, the department said.
The hunter contacted the MDC, which tested the animal's DNA and determined it was in fact a coyote.
The MDC said the 104-pound coyote was about 3 years old."


A hundred pound coyote? Motherfucker! I wish they grew that big out here.
Rod sent this via Facebook.
Thanks, man.

My new hunting partner



Thanks, Yolo.

Maybe they're still pissed at the shitty gifts from their first visit

Once not so long ago one of the world’s top celebrities in his own right, Barack Obama and his wife Michelle did not make the cut for invitations to the royal wedding in London next spring.
On April 29 in Westminster Abbey with all the grace and pageantry sure to capture international imaginations, commoner Kate Middleton will marry Prince William, son of Princess Diana....But the current residents of the White House will not be there, according to the Daily Mail.
The official excuse provided to the British paper by royal sources is that the royal couple wants to share their special nuptial moment with ordinary citizens. Anyway, it is not an official state event, they said. And, you know, Westminster only seats 2,000.
Nice try.
So then how to explain the invites to French president Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni?
And how to explain the invitations to England-loving President and Mrs. Reagan for the wedding of Diana and Prince Charles back in 1981? And the subsequent invitations to the American first family for the wedding of Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson five years later?
-From Cbullit

Read more:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2010/12/kate-middleton-prince-william-queen-elizabeth-obama.html

I couldn't have said it better myself

And yet, not a single "Fuck You, Obama" in the entire article.

 http://www.mentalrecession.com/2010/12/17/is-obama-destined-to-be-a-footnote-in-presidential-history/

Friday, December 17, 2010

Why, oh why?

A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?"

The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."

"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.

"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body." said the father.

The son asked, "And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?

His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert."

"Tell me," added the boy.

"Yes, my son?"

"Why are we living in Dearborn , Michigan and you're still wearing all this shit?


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Moving tips for Yolo

Mom, Dad? I'd like for you to meet the father of my baby.

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon......

I forgot where I was going with this

I got 6 Christmas cards from non-relatives and one from my beloved Aunt Polly.
That breaks the record and we've still got a couple of weeks to go and Aunt Polly may just kick me another one if the spirit grabs ahold of her. Which is entirely possible due to the Christmas Season, parties and all you know.
So I guess next year I should invest in a box, huh? Maybe I'll go whole hog and have a Coyote Christmas Card.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Redneck Christmas Decorations




































Thanks Ron, this is fucking hilarious.

Tune-free blog here

Is this a great Country or what???????

Thanks, Jamie

Guess what the Evil Cats are getting for Christmas?

CAMEL TOE!!!!!




































This one has been making the rounds lately.
It would've been a shame if a camel toe of this caliber got past me.

Once again, I am at a loss for words

YOLO knows what it takes to get me hot




































A cleavage-tongue-handgun picture!
Thanks, Sweetie

Monday, December 13, 2010

Bubba the Aggie

Bubba the Aggie was walking home from the bar late at night and sees a woman step out of the shadows. “Twenty dollars” she whispers.
Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the heck, it's only twenty bucks, so they hide in the bushes. They're in there for only a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.
It’s a police officer. “What's going on here, people?” asks the officer.
“I'm makin' love to my wife!” Bubba answers sounding annoyed.
“Oh, I'm sorry” says the cop, “I didn't know.”
Bubba says, "Well, neither did I, til ya shined that there light in her face.”

Thanks, Orbitup

Dayum

She's a cutie! Shapely, provocative, and lots of teeth.

Stolen from Theospark
http://www.theospark.net/

And Big Government just got a little bigger

http://www.carolinapatriots.org/cpblog/2010/04/new-government-agencies-created-by-obama-care/

Why he's loading the Supreme Court with liberals

RICHMOND, Va. – A federal judge declared the foundation of President Barack Obama's health care law unconstitutional Monday, ruling that the government cannot require Americans to purchase insurance. The case is expected to end up at the Supreme Court.
U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson wrote that no court had expanded the Commerce Clause of the Constitution to allow the government to regulate a person's decision not to buy a product.
"At its core, this dispute is not simply about regulating the business of insurance — or crafting a scheme of universal health insurance coverage — it's about an individual's right to choose to participate," Hudson wrote.

Bulk Ammo

The Great Ammo/Powder/Primer Shortage of 2008/09/10 seems to have run its' course. There's not a lot of shortages anymore but it did serve one very important lesson to me and a shitload of other shooters out there:
Buy when you can, stock up and always be on the lookout for new suppliers.
On that thought, here's a link that I've pushed before and I will push again. They're good folks, they've got great prices and their inventory is always expanding.
http://www.bulkammo.com/

Tell 'em Wirecutter sent you - maybe they'll give me free shit.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

So I get bored sometimes....

Follow the link below to this liberal motherfucker saying some cocaine crimes are minor in the comment section to the letters to the editor.
I start fucking with him and he gets all worked up about it, even after I tell him I'm just fucking with him.
Dumbass....
http://www.modbee.com/2010/12/10/1466676/pardons-for-potential-voters.html#comment-110425277

A religion of peace....

Global Warming my ass

MINNEAPOLIS – A powerful snowstorm socked the upper Midwest on Saturday with as much as 20 inches of snow, forcing authorities to close state roads across five states as heavy winds made for treacherous driving conditions.

The snowstorm was expected to be followed by dangerous cold. North Dakota experienced wind chills of 20 degrees below zero, and the arctic air was expected to drop temperatures below zero by Sunday night throughout the Dakotas and in parts of Iowa, Minnesota and Wisconsin.

The World's Busiest Airline

-Michelle

I crashed and burned, man.

I don't take the paper because I'm usually gone before it gets here, so I buy it from a paper machine and read it at work
Anyways, Woody brought me in an ad from the BassPro from Sundays' paper, knowing I didn't see it already.
I go into the locker room where I spend my lunch and breaks reading, I open the pages to the ad and see my Christmas present.
Yes, I know this is off their webpage. I lost the ad already.

A camouflaged bed set! Fuck yeah! What woman could resist this?
I get my ass out the fucking door and headed to the BassPro in Manteca, a few miles up the road. I walk in knowing that there's only 2 things I'm after - a camouflaged bed set and some Hornady Vmax in 22-250. The bedding is on the first floor for sure and the ammo is upstairs. Easier to carry a couple of boxes of ammo downstairs than lug all that other shit out to the truck and then go back for ammo, so I head up the Stairs of Financial Despair where they keep all the gun and hunting shit.
I grab the last 3 boxes of Vmax off the shelf, wander over to check if there's any new coyote calls. There isn't, but as I'm heading to the stairs, this gorgeous ass goes bouncing by and leads me to the hunting clothing where she meets her husband and I suddenly remember that I could use some new camo thermals so I chase down a salesbabe and ask where they are. Downstairs, naturally and she's not even sure if they have 'em in camo. I turn around to leave and come face to face with a rack of camo bib overalls. Fuck. Gotta have camo bibs, man.
So I grab a pair and head out to go downstairs and I see a camo thinslate facemask. Need one. Got one. Then I remembered that CharlieGodammit loves them $6.99 bag of rawhide chews, so instead of hanging a hard right and going downstairs like a sane man would, I make the mistake of going right back into the hunting gear. I find the chews and also this asskicking little 2' x 12' ground blind. That might come in handy so I snatch one of them. Wait, wait. How much 4Buck do I have? It seems like I'm running low, better grab some. Scent Killer!!!! Godammit, I'm out of Scent Killer. It's right over there, ooooh, three for $25. Save me 75 cents in the long run there. Bam, it's mine.
Okay, by this time shit is falling out of my arms left and right. I need to get the fuck out of here NOW before I buy a fucking boat or something. Fuck, I only came in for 2 things! I stagger up the the cash register and dump all this gotta-have-it stuff up there. One Hundred Eighty Seven Motherfucking Dollars later.......
I haul all that shit out to my truck cursing Woody and BassPro and suddenly remember that I forgot to even look at the bed sets.......

No shit, huh?




































Can you see this billboard in California?
Naw, neither can I.

But we can imagine it.
The fucking liberals would be going berserk, bouncing off walls and shit. Protests for days until somebody burns the place down (authorities suspect arson) and a bunch of fucking hippies come in and hold some weird-ass ritual to bless the earth.
Looting, rioting and shooting white folks down in LA because..... well, that's what they do down there.
Sharpton would somehow end up on TV again, dammit.
Obama would show up and go on record to say that "the police acted stupidly" for gassing violent protesters in Oakland. Then he'd apologize to everybody for something that happened a long fucking time ago.
Boxer would banish pork from California on the basis that a few folks find pigs offensive.
That motherfucker Jerry Brown would declare the property sanctuary, turn it into a meditation park and erect a multi-cultural center next door. Not a mosque, a multi-cultural center. Got it?

In South Carolina, they just laugh at the sign and enjoy some pulled pork.

Thanks, Derek

Gotta be California (again)

Fuck 'em

Here in the valley they have "no burn" days where it's illegal to burn anything, fireplaces included, due to bad air quality. It usually happens on damp, foggy, windless days - just when you want a nice log on the fire - when the smoke just hangs in the air.
So guess what day the state decided to declare a no-burn day? That's right, the very day I was going to smoke that huge brisket. Can you believe that shit?
Fucking assholes.......

So I got up at 5, got the smoker ready and lit that motherfucker off. The brisket is on, slowly cooking with a nice mesquite flavor smoking in.
And my entire block can smell the smoke and the meat, yet nobody has complained or called the fucking babysitters on me.
Of course, I'm sure I'm going to have more than one of the neighbors stop by right around dinner time.

I'm just sayin'

If, at the age of 22, your mode of transportation is a BMX bike, then it should be apparent that somewhere in your past you made a bad decision.

Where's Ronnie when we need him?

Another huge deliberate O-blunder with catastrophic implications for the free world. Obama and his revolutionaries are not stupid, but traitorous and treacherous.

Today’s news that Iran is placing medium-range missiles inside Venezuela that can reach the U.S. should come as no surprise. Anna Mahjar-Barducci writes:
Iran is planning to place medium-range missiles on Venezuelan soil, based on western information sources[1], according to an article in the German daily, Die Welt, of November 25, 2010. According to the article, an agreement between the two countries was signed during the last visit o Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to Tehran on October19, 2010. The previously undisclosed contract provides for the establishment of a jointly operated military base in Venezuela, and the joint development of ground-to-ground missiles.

At a moment when NATO members found an agreement, in the recent Lisbon summit (19-20 November 2010), to develop a Missile Defence capability to protect NATO's populations and territories in Europe against ballistic missile attacks from the East (namely, Iran), Iran's counter-move consists in establishing a strategic base in the South American continent - in the United States's soft underbelly.

According to Die Welt, Venezuela has agreed to allow Iran to establish a military base manned by Iranian missile officers, soldiers of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard and Venezuelan missile officers. In addition, Iran has given permission for the missiles to be used in case of an "emergency". In return, the agreement states that Venezuela can use these facilities for "national needs" – radically increasing the threat to neighbors like Colombia. The German daily claims that according to the agreement, Iranian Shahab 3 (range 1300-1500 km), Scud-B (285-330 km) and Scud-C (300, 500 and 700 km) will be deployed in the proposed base. It says that Iran also pledged to help Venezuela in rocket technology expertise, including intensive training of officers.

Venezuela has also become the country through which Iran intends to bypass UN sanctions. Following a new round of UN sanctions against the Islamic Republic, for example, Russia decided not to sell five battalions of S-300PMU-1 air defence systems to Iran. These weapons, along with a number of other weapons, were part of a deal, signed in 2007, worth $800 million. Now that these weapons cannot be delivered to Iran, Russia is looking for new customers; according to the Russian press agency Novosti[2], it found one: Venezuela.

If Iran, therefore, cannot get the S-300 missiles directly from Russia, it can still have them through its proxy, Venezuela, and deploy them against its staunchest enemy, the U.S.

But that is not all. According to Reuters, Iran has developed a version of the Russian S-300 missile and will test-fire it soon, as declared by the official news agency IRNA, two months after Moscow cancelled the delivery to comply with United Nations sanctions[3]. Iran, in fact, has its own capabilities for constructing missiles that could carry atomic warheads. According to a study recently released by the International Institute of Strategic Studies in London, Iran is presently aiming to perfect the already existing solid-fuel, medium-range missile that can carry a nuke to hit regional targets, such as Israel[4]. If a missile base can be opened in Venezuela, many US cities will be able to be reached from there even with short-medium range missiles.
The situation that is unfolding in Venezuela has some resemblance to the Cuba crisis of 1962. At that time, Cuba was acting on behalf of the USSR; now Venezuela is acting on behalf of Iran. At present, the geopolitical situation is very different: the world is no longer ruled by two superpowers; new nations, often with questionable leaders and the ambition of acquiring global status, are appearing on the international scene. Their danger to the free world will be greater if the process of nuclear proliferation is not stopped. Among the nations that aspire to become world powers, Iran has certainly the best capabilities of posing a challenge to the West.
Back in the 1962, thanks to the stern stance adopted by the then Kennedy administration, the crisis was defused.

Nowadays, however, we do not see the same firmness from the present administration. On the contrary, we see a lax attitude, both in language and in deeds, that results in extending hands when our adversaries have no intention of shaking hands with us. Iran is soon going to have a nuclear weapon, and there are no signs that UN sanctions will in any way deter the Ayatollah's regime from completing its nuclear program. We know that Iran already has missiles that can carry an atomic warhead over Israel and over the Arabian Peninsula. Now we learn that Iran is planning to build a missile base close to the US borders.

- http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2010/12/obamas-pal-ahmadinejad-places-missiles-inside-obama-pal-chavezs-venezuela-.html

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....




































-Will

Fucking Berkeley, I swear.

Amid calls from some politicians to press treason charges -- which could carry the death penalty -- against whoever leaked secret cables to WikiLeaks, the Berkeley, Calif., City Council is entertaining a resolution to declare that an Army private accused of leaking some classified information to the website is an American hero.

http://www.foxnews.com/

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

My future second ex-wife

You can tell this babe has her shit together, fashion wise.
Not only does her sling match her hat but her snake boots accent the dress. Very smart.

-Thanks, Bella

Bless you, my son

Hey, we all work with religious folks, right? Whether they be Christian, Jew, muslim, Hindu, whatever, we all have somebody that immediately pops into our minds. It may be because they attempt to live a Better Way, maybe because they belong to some weird-ass cult, maybe because they've tried to talk to you about their faith.
Whatever. That's light shit, man. Let me tell you about our Jesus freak at work.
This motherfucker is fruitloops. He has this crazed look in his eye and weird little smile and eat, breathes, and sleeps his Lord Jesus. Every conversation revolves around Jesus. He will approach you at work and start preaching. He came up to me once and with fucking tears in his eyes told me that Jesus loves me. I told him to get the fuck out of my way. Short conversation.....
Anyways, he leaves work and stands on corners waving signs urging you to repent. No shit. People have seen him.
He wears T-shirts with messages like REPENT OR PERISH in huge capital letters. Makes me feel like I'm being yelled at.
He likes to jump up at the end of union meetings and start preaching.
He prays out loud while he's taking a dump. That seems kinda disrespectful to me.
He goes to concerts like Metallica and Ozzy - not for the show but to stand in front of the venue with a megaphone telling people that they're going to hell.
Get the picture? If not, check out what the motherfucker drives........




















I'm telling you, this dude is extreme. This is the guy you'd expect to nut up at work and kill 8 Mexicans, 1 white guy and a mullato which is pretty much the racial balance there.
He is so devout that if this fucker was muslim, he'd be jihading the dogshit out of everybody. He'd be the masked man holding up a severed head, he'd be the one flying airplanes into shit, he'd be the suicide bomber at a day care.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Grady, New Mexico update

Stevie Foodstamps sent the link for this story after I ran something about the hunt this morning.
I bet these folks are going to be overrun next year.

GRADY, N.M. (AP) — A coyote hunt around Grady that raised the ire of a resident went on over the weekend as scheduled.
A ranching family stepped in to sponsor the annual hunt after Grady newcomer Cliff Sagnotty questioned whether the public school district should sponsor a hunt.
The district had used the event in the last several years to raise money for girls' athletics in the community, which has a population of about 100.
Sagnotty had said the contest was outside the boundaries of what he thought a school should be doing for the community and was teaching students "just to kill."

His concern also brought publicity to the event.
Coyote conservation groups criticized it, saying hunting coyotes is cruel and ineffective at controlling the coyote population.
But Grady athletic director Alicia Rush said she was inundated with support.
"A lot of people are saying, 'Please don't not have the contest, we want to be in it,'" Rush said.
Eighteen teams signed up this year, compared with about nine last year.
"We were actually worried about it getting too big," Rush said.
Organizers would not estimate how much the contest made, but said it was on course to raise more than ever before.
Teams of hunters had two days to bring in as many coyotes as they could.
The first- and second-place teams brought in four carcasses each during the hunt Friday and Saturday. The tie was broken by the weight of the heaviest animal.

Kodi Mackechnie Chapman said she and her husband stepped in to sponsor the event because they wanted to make sure it didn't end. The Chapmans live in Lubbock, Texas, but often visit Grady, where Mackechnie Chapman has family.
"We believe this hunt is a necessity for this community, and we believe in girls' athletics," she said.
Ranchers said coyotes prey on their livestock, and Mackechnie Chapman's husband, Baker Chapman, said they harm farmers by eating or destroying crops.
"Coyotes come in there and really do a lot of damage to a watermelon crop," Chapman said.
Mackechnie Chapman took issue with the idea that young people involved in hunting are being taught to kill. She said they know the difference between managing predators and wanton killing.
"These are good kids out here," she said. "They know the reason behind it."

http://www.necn.com/11/28/10/Criticized-praised-coyote-hunt-goes-on-i/landing_scitech.html?&blockID=3&apID=768fe761d15f47ff9918f02ca869858b

It's true, I am hot.

Oh great. Cbullits' comparing hits on me an Charliegodammits' picture and some fine looking naked babes' model shoot.
Wanna guess who's winning so far?
http://cbullitt.wordpress.com/2010/12/07/wtf-people/

OKIE FUCKING POWER!!!!!!!!

Coyote facts

The coyote in the picture is 'gaping', a form of intimidation or maintaining position in the pack structural order.
The coyote above doesn't seem to be too excited seeing as it's only giving a half-assed effort.
A coyote in full gape mode will, according to pictures I've seen and accounts I've read, be wearing that same facial expression but will have its' back hunched with its' hind feet just behind the fore feet and have its' tail tucked in tight against its' belly.
Usually only one coyote will gape while the other becomes almost immediately submissive. Because of that, the gape hardly ever results in an ass-whipping.

Okay. My sources are "The World of the Coyote" by Wayne Grady,
"God's Dog" by Hope Ryden,
and the hippie chick at the Great Valley Museum, Modesto Junior College.

Keep It Simple Stupid

Now you should never fuck it up again

Thanks, Phil.

The Great Grady, N.M. Coyote Hunt

Corncerning my post a couple weeks ago about the New Mexico school that held a coyote hunt to fund their sports agenda, Stevie Foodstamps sent this to my facebook page:

Hey, man! That coyote hunt went successful. That is not to say that they can't use your (or my) help next year. Ki-yeeep this shit in mind for next year, as they're surely gonna get back after those good folk, and those kids could use your h(y)elp.

Yeah, I'm still kicking around the idea of driving out there next year to offer support. If I'm too fucking lazy, I can at least mail a check.
Thanks Stevie, for keeping us in the loop.

Deer picture from Steve

My boss went hunting this past weekend and got himself a mule deer. I thought you all would appreciate a pic.


We do appreciate it and thanks!