Monday, March 29, 2010

So this is why I don't have a full time sweetie

I ain't heard of half these babes.
I still think my dating tips are better.


Check out the relationship and dating advice you can use from these otherwise distracting celebrity ladies. Now stop staring and go be a better man.
Stolen from Yahoo!

1. Christina Applegate
"Call us back right away. That 'three day' business does not apply. We're getting older, and we don't have time to screw around. Wait too long and we'll lose interest. Trust me on this one."
More From Esquire:

2. Courtney Cox
"We pay closer attention to your hands than you think. It's bad enough if you don't have manly hands, but if your nails are longer than ours, forget it."


3. Padma Lakshmi
"Some of us prefer boxing to yoga. None of us actually likes Pilates."

4. Alyssa Milano
"Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it's a genderwide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my ten-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Bertha. On a really bad day, Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Brian Dennehy."

5. Poppy Montgomery
"When considering whether or not to ask out the girl you're afraid to talk to, keep this in mind: No matter who you are or what you look like, it's always flattering when you hit on us. Always."

6. Tea Leoni
"Supersecret: Unless we're blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you."

7. Mariska Hargitay
"We love the fact that it takes you only twelve minutes to get ready for anything, be it a black tie [event] or a basketball game. When it takes longer than that... what are you doing in there?"
"We are all about our necks. Feel free to spend as much time there as you wish."

8. Emily Deschanel
"Even if we've only been dating a few weeks, don't introduce us as your 'lady friend' -- or that's exactly what we'll become."

9. Jenna Fischer
"If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble."

10. Julie Delpy
"We need you to be reachable at all times, but we don't always pick up our phones when you call. We realize this seems like a double standard; if you'd like to discuss it further, just leave a message."

11. Maria Bello
"We're afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we're not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models."

12. Kyra Sedgwick
"Our friends are not your enemies, and our enemies better not be your friends."

2 comments:

YOLO said...

i think these all seem reasonable,
#1 and #9 especially and as for #6,
someone ought to bitch-slap Tea for giving away secrets!

Bella said...

I have no nite-lite in my can and I can turn into a psycho-seeking bitch missile looking to wring my son's neck at 3 a.m. Jesus that pisses me off! Other than that, I'm pretty easy going. I could add a few to this list but it seems kinda accurate.