So this is why I don't have a full time sweetie

I ain't heard of half these babes.
I still think my dating tips are better.

Check out the relationship and dating advice you can use from these otherwise distracting celebrity ladies. Now stop staring and go be a better man.
Stolen from Yahoo!

1. Christina Applegate
"Call us back right away. That 'three day' business does not apply. We're getting older, and we don't have time to screw around. Wait too long and we'll lose interest. Trust me on this one."
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2. Courtney Cox
"We pay closer attention to your hands than you think. It's bad enough if you don't have manly hands, but if your nails are longer than ours, forget it."


3. Padma Lakshmi
"Some of us prefer boxing to yoga. None of us actually likes Pilates."

4. Alyssa Milano
"Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it's a genderwide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my ten-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Bertha. On a really bad day, Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Brian Dennehy."

5. Poppy Montgomery
"When considering whether or not to ask out the girl you're afraid to talk to, keep this in mind: No matter who you are or what you look like, it's always flattering when you hit on us. Always."

6. Tea Leoni
"Supersecret: Unless we're blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you."

7. Mariska Hargitay
"We love the fact that it takes you only twelve minutes to get ready for anything, be it a black tie [event] or a basketball game. When it takes longer than that... what are you doing in there?"
"We are all about our necks. Feel free to spend as much time there as you wish."

8. Emily Deschanel
"Even if we've only been dating a few weeks, don't introduce us as your 'lady friend' -- or that's exactly what we'll become."

9. Jenna Fischer
"If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble."

10. Julie Delpy
"We need you to be reachable at all times, but we don't always pick up our phones when you call. We realize this seems like a double standard; if you'd like to discuss it further, just leave a message."

11. Maria Bello
"We're afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we're not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models."

12. Kyra Sedgwick
"Our friends are not your enemies, and our enemies better not be your friends."

I love life right now

I actually got a job to knock out a pack of coyotes this week.
An old friend called me up tonight tonight and she said that a pack of coyotes had killed her best bear hound and and a goat and she wanted them gone.
She lives on 30 acres, way out in the country, pastured and scrub oak bordered by a creek.
I'm headed out there tomorrow evening to get a lay of the land, sight in my hot-rod 22-250 and eat some pig with her and her daughter.
Next week, me and Pops are gonna wreak some havoc on that pack of coyotes.

Uh-oh.....

I was in the backyard fucking with the dog this morning and noticed a hornet hanging around his food dish.
This is not good.
So I started checking under the eaves and gables of the house and garage and bigger than shit, there's a fucking nest up under the eaves on the rear of the garage, right next to the orange tree and no place to run for a quick getaway.
I'll tackle that motherfucker tonight as soon as it gets dark and cool.
I expect I'll be laid up for a couple of days.

That reminds me of the time I was out shooting jackrabbits when I was about 10 years old and spotted a huge hornets' nest hanging off the platform of a broken down windmill about 35 yards away.
Being a rather stupid youngster, I shot that sonofabitch.
As soon as that 22 mag hit the nest, it looked like a huge cloud boiled out of it, heading right for me, so I hauled ass, heading for a stock tank that I'd passed just on the other side of a rise. I got about 10 yards from the tank when somebody hit me right between the shoulder blades with a baseball bat.
That's what it felt like, anyways.
I dove into that tank and stayed underwater for the next 10 minutes, coming up for air as needed. After a while they lost interest and I climbed out, shook the water out of my rifle and took my injured ass on home where Mom applied salve to the bites on my back and face.
I learned a lesson that day: Next time, shoot from further back. A lot further back.

Woo-hoo!!!!!

Well, I'm on vacation for the next week.
I don't have any firm plans besides a bottle of whiskey and trying to find a crazy lady with loose morals and no sense of shame.

Who DOESN'T like to have their nuts rubbed?

Apparently, dog show judges like to see a little life in the face of the usually bored Bulldog. So in order to get a "questioning look" on their bull dog's faces, handlers molest their dog's nut bags while holding their heads up.
Dude is straight-up tickling that Bulldog's balls WITH feeling! He's doing it like he really means it. I expected the handler to whisper a love sonnet in the Bulldog's ear or lick his fingers before handling.
Makes you wanna be a bulldog, now doesnt it! ;))
My suggestion would be to keep this video away from Charlie, or he might expect the same treatment. nightly. and with a smile. LOOOOL
-Yolo

More exercise, less belly.

Hey, people are pissed.....

Unrest over sweeping federal health care legislation has turned to vandalism and threats, with bricks hurled through Democrats' windows, a propane line cut at the home of a congressman's brother and menacing phone messages left for lawmakers who supported the bill.

The FBI is investigating the instances, which include shattered windows at four Democratic offices in New York, Arizona and Kansas. At least 10 members of Congress have reported some sort of threat as of Wednesday, and no arrests have been made.

The brick flung through the window of a county Democratic Party office in Rochester, N.Y., over the weekend had a note attached: "Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice," roughly quoting 1964 Republican presidential nominee Barry Goldwater.

A New York congresswoman whose office window also was smashed with a brick accused the Republican leadership of failing to denounce attacks against lawmakers who supported the legislation. The vandalism was at Democratic Rep. Louise Slaughter's district office in Niagara Falls early Friday, two days before the House passed the health care overhaul bill.

"It's more disturbing to me that Republican leadership has not condemned these attacks and instead appears to be fanning the flames with coded rhetoric," said Slaughter, a key supporter of the bill.

You Know I'm No Good (Live)

Amy Winehouse had the potential to be one of the best R&B singers of our time. I'm sorry she wasted her life and career on drugs.

A picture is worth a thousand words

Thanks Greg, ya whiny li'l bitch.

Still true today

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
- Thomas Jefferson

Thanks, Woody

Another "Aw Fuck" moment in time