Saturday, May 22, 2010

Hahahahahaha!!!!

Barack Obama dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates. He is very excited - all his life he's had a secret wish to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barack meets a man with a beard. "Are you Mohammed?" he asks.
"No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up."
Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.
Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, Obama climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
"No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still."
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard. Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
"No, I am Jesus... you will find Mohammed higher up."
"Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man!"
Obama can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher. Once again, he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question, "Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.
"No, my son... I am Almighty God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee...?"
"Yes! Please, my Lord".
God looks behind him, claps his hands and yells out "Hey Mohammed - two coffees!"

Friday, May 21, 2010

No shit

















And we're in for the ride.
-Thanks, Tom

Drunk chicks - gotta love 'em

I'm Back, Motherfuckers!!!!!!

Fuck me running, but my computer took a dump a couple of weeks ago, which threw me into a whole new (old?) world.
I had to read books for entertainment, my finances were fucked seeing as I pay all my bills and do my banking online and my sex life went out the window.
But 2 weeks and $275 later, I'm up and running.
Missed y'all.