Iraq? Arack?

-Stevienatt

That's some serious redneck shit

And yes, I will be trying it out.

My Great Granddaughter

It's true, I'm a Great Granddad at 51 due to marrying a woman 6 years older that had her babies young who had their babies young who had their babies young.
I know, How fucking Okie can you get?
This is one of two pictures I have of her. Pity I'll probably never see her or her mama again......

A message for TJ

Hey Jim, you gonna run from Earl or are you gonna stay and kick his ass when he rips through town?

Straight-up White Trash, God bless 'im

Yep, that's me scratching a skeeter at a redneckin fuck-yeah-spring-is-here party back in April.
After it got dark it got to where you couldn't go 5 feet without tripping over a drunk or a dog. Folks were tumbling down that little slope behind me, falling in the creek, random gunfire from the ladies' purse pistols, and a Jap car got sledgehammered.

Ah, the good ol' days!

Okay, you win!

I got so many fucking dog pictures that I am literally oerwhelmed here. And most you you couldn't send in a picture, you had to send several of the same damned dog.
I don't know if I should just have one huge post with dog pictures and no text, or post 1 a day for the next 2 motherfucking months with the proud owners' message.
Fuck Obama.

Chew (not) update

Well, it'll be 2 weeks tomorrow that God made me quit chewing Copenhagen. While I admit that I would've preferred to do it on my time and my terms, it's done. I really think it is. I walked into the store today where I bought my chew, picked up a paper and some gum and walked out, only realizing after I got back on the road that I didn't even THINK about a chew. Then I realized that I didn't crave one with my morning coffee. Then I realized that even thinking about it didn't cause a craving. And I didn't go through an entire 20 pack of gum today, as a matter of fact I only had a couple of pieces.
But then again, I tried to kick the Main Evil Cat over the back fence for no reason when I got home. Maybe I should give it another day or two before I declare victory.

An educated idiot

Seriously, you'd think a fucking doctor would know better....... and it took them a while before anybody complained about the smell because, well, we are talking Bakersfield here. All the neighbors probably thought it was just another meth lab.


BAKERSFIELD -- Police say a Bakersfield doctor apparently tried to get into the home of the man she had been dating by sliding down the chimney. Her decomposing body was found there days later.
Police Sgt. Mary DeGeare says investigators do not suspect foul play in the death of Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac.
Authorities say the 49-year-old apparently climbed on the roof Wednesday night, removed the chimney cap and slid feet first down the flue after unsuccessfully trying to get into the house other ways.
DeGeare says the man whom Kotarac was pursuing had left the home unnoticed to avoid a confrontation.
The body went undiscovered for several days until someone noticed odors coming from the fireplace.
Firefighters dismantled the chimney Saturday to remove the body.
Read more: http://www.modbee.com/2010/08/31/1317706/cops-calif-doctor-gets-stuck-in.html#ixzz0yDrqWbQz

He must be dying

I stopped by my folks' house today when I was doing an ammo run. No truck, no answer at the door. Hounds were oustside. Nobody home.
So I called tonight and got Pops - Moms was headed to spend the night with her dad, Bud, who has been threatening to die on us for several years now but has really stepped up the pace lately, the motherfucker.
I mentioned that I stopped by and he said "Yeah, I was in the garage sneaking a sip of Scotch. I heard your boots but wasn't in the mood for company,"
Hey, I can understand that. Can't tell you how how many times I've hid from you.
Anyways, we got to talking, the longest conversation that I have ever had with my Pops. It must've lasted 15 minutes or so.
And I don't know why, I seriously don't, when I said my goodbyes I said "Okay Motherfucker, I'm outta here. I love you."
Fuck me if he didn't say "I love you too, Dickhead."
I'm 51 years old and he finally said it........... I knew he did, but to hear him say it?

Oh, my God.

It must've been a good night last night.
I vaguely remember grabbing my last beer out the 18 pack, thinking that I wasn't ready to go to bed yet, realizing I was WAY too drunk to drive, leashing up CharlieGodammit to go to the corner store 3 blocks away, getting halfway there and thinking not only was I too drunk to drive but I was too drunk to walk but I was already halfway there so fuck it, having a hell of a time tying CGD up to the stop sign outside the store, finally saying fuck it and taking him in with me and the Hindu chick yelling at me for being a good dog owner. I don't remember the walk home.
I woke up this morning and thought it was a dream until I found a Bud Tall Boy in the icebox. I started out drinking Busch.
Then I had to check and see if I still had a dog. I do but he smells like somebody pissed on him.

Hey, I'm easy.

After I posted my Islam post, I've noticed that I've gotten a shitload of views from arabic countries.
Let me make it easy on all you jihadists.
Contact me through my profile and I'll let you know you of a place to meet. We'll meet and settle our shit face to face instead of on the internet. I've had a great life, hope you have too.
Fuck Mo. He's a goat fucker and a baby raper.......

Give me a break here, People.

Fuck me running.
Okay, check this shit out. I will NEVER get on your collective asses again about not responding to my picture requests again.
I got more motherfucking dog pics than I know what to do with. This is gonna be stretched out over the weekend and maybe Monday too.
My next request is gonna be thong pics if you ladies wanna get a head start.......

My contact info

Okay, folks have been wondering how to send the dog or ex-wife tittie pics in.
If you're sober enough, you can always go to my profile and hit the email button. That'll hook you up.
If you're fucked up and semi-incoherent (and it is Friday night, I understand) email your dog and tittie pics to k59lane@yahoo.com
Fuck Obama, Allah and his messenger Mo.

WTF?

What in the flying fuck is the matter with you people? I asked for dog pictures and I got 3. THREE. Now I know that some of you have sent yours in last time I asked and that's cool. I ain't going off on you. I posted them and they're in the archives.
But check this shit out. I get about 400 readers a day. Damned near everybody I know owns a dog. That means 397 of you motherfuckers are slacking off.
Goddammit, if I asked for titty pics of your ex-wives, my inbox would be flooded. I'd even get dick pics of ex-husbands from the ladies. BTW, send the titty pics, hold the dick pics.
Hey, I don't care what kinda dog you got. A fucking Dane, Chihuahua, a  Bloodhound, a furball Maltese. I don't care. My favorite dog of all time was my Hillary - half chihuahua/terrier mix that thought she was a pit bull.
And I thought my blog catered to Rednecks.......
Step up, motherfuckers.

GMarks' dog Jessie

Hey
Love your blog. I read it in the morning at work. thanks for the chuckles. Please write more so I can avoid more work. I have a hunch if we were neighbors we'd give each other a lot of shit. Then of course talk about guns, dumb ass liberals and other stuff over beers.
This is my dog Jessie. We got him from the pound. We think he's a Shepard collie mix. He's got a mean bark but once people come in he's all about sniffing crotches and making friends. Loves going for walks so he can smell everything and then piss on it.
He got himself pepper sprayed once by some douche bag neighbors. Apparently he got out of the yard and saw them walking by. When he ran up to make friends they just assumed he was an asshole like themselves and sprayed him. Now parts of their hoity toity "curb appeal" yard just won't grow grass anymore, not sure why:-) There's a vid on my face book of him and some other funny stuff if you want it. (some I stole from you).
Anyway....
Keep up the good work.

Have you seen this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVZqv1UDWt8

BillyBobs' dog, PJ

Ken, here is my boy PJ. Full blooded Rottweiler. He is hard headed but a good boy.
-BillyBob from Hell on Earth

Jim's dog Bruno

This is our 10 y/o dog Bruno. Half Rottweiler and half Rhodesian ridgeback. Good solid dog.

Thanks for your picture, Jim.
Give him a hug for me if you dare.

Why, oh why?

Why do Sharks swim circles around you before attacking?


Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me, son." the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few more times with all of our fins showing." And they did.
 "Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"
-Yolo

Dog pictures

Send me pictures of your dogs. I'll post them and give them their 15 minutes of fame.
Pictures of the dogs and a pile of dogshit in the shot get priorities.

When I got out of the shower

This is what I saw. My laundry basket in the living room and this sorry motherfucker denying all knowledge of it.

My views on Islam

Okay, I can keep this short and sweet.

Allah is the god of my enemy and Mohammad was a goat fucker.

Any questions?

Mine gets every night off......

-Curtis Lowe

I don't need to say a thing

-Stevienatt

We'll always be new friends

-Karen