Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks:
"What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith. The midget."
Thanks, Bella. I did get a grin out of that one.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Go figure.......
It's true. This is the toughest baddest dog I have ever owned. That motherfucker will attack and kill a wounded coyote when I cut him loose, protect my house and his yard from any intruder, and even keep me safe from a menopausal woman for sure.
Yet he'll lick a cats' ass given half a chance.
Do I need to say it again?
Oh hell, okay. If you insist.
Fuck Obama and his best bro Mohammad, the goat fucking child molester.
Fuck Obama and his best bro Mohammad, the goat fucking child molester.
So much for loyal readers
Okay, check this shit out.
I don't demand a whole hell of a lot from you motherfuckers but somebody better comment on my coyote facts post (killin' them motherfuckers is near and dear to my heart) or I'm gonna go out and kick my dog.
Yeah Mom, I've been drinking. What in the fuck are you gonna do about it?
I don't demand a whole hell of a lot from you motherfuckers but somebody better comment on my coyote facts post (killin' them motherfuckers is near and dear to my heart) or I'm gonna go out and kick my dog.
Yeah Mom, I've been drinking. What in the fuck are you gonna do about it?
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Help. Please.
Okay. Since my modem took a shit and I got a new one, everything is fucked up.
I cannot access my blogrolls to add or delete.
I have to sign in every time I make a post even when I had just posted thirty seconds before.
I have to sign in to edit a post I just made.
I have to sign in to reply to a comment.
Basically, I'm a visitor to my own blog.
My questions are what in the fuck does this have to with a modem and what do I have to do to get things back to normal?
Please don't tell me to sign out and back in. I've tried that shit a hundred times.
I cannot access my blogrolls to add or delete.
I have to sign in every time I make a post even when I had just posted thirty seconds before.
I have to sign in to edit a post I just made.
I have to sign in to reply to a comment.
Basically, I'm a visitor to my own blog.
My questions are what in the fuck does this have to with a modem and what do I have to do to get things back to normal?
Please don't tell me to sign out and back in. I've tried that shit a hundred times.
F*ck Obama Shirts
For those that wnat to know where I got my Fuck Obama shirt, go to:
I do a fair amount of business with them. They're good folks and they also ship a small American Flag decal with every order.
Coyote Facts Everybody Needs To Know
Welcome to my new feature - Coyote Facts.
Learn while you can before I either run out of facts or get bored with it.
The range of the coyote in North America before the europeans showed up was limited to an area between the Rockies and Sierras and south to where the US/Mexico border supposedly is today. Yes, they extended down into Mexico but I'm talking Norte Americana, Senor. They also inhabited a thin strip of the Canadian prairie just north of the border.
By 1940, they extended into western Canada, up into southern Alaska and into the Great Lakes region in both the US and Canada.
Today, you can find the mangy motherfuckers all along southern to mid-Canada from coast to coast, and every state of the Union except Hawaii and just as soon as I can figure out how to get a couple of breeding pairs over there, we'll have some fine coyote hunting right there in Wakiki too.
Learn while you can before I either run out of facts or get bored with it.
The range of the coyote in North America before the europeans showed up was limited to an area between the Rockies and Sierras and south to where the US/Mexico border supposedly is today. Yes, they extended down into Mexico but I'm talking Norte Americana, Senor. They also inhabited a thin strip of the Canadian prairie just north of the border.
By 1940, they extended into western Canada, up into southern Alaska and into the Great Lakes region in both the US and Canada.
Today, you can find the mangy motherfuckers all along southern to mid-Canada from coast to coast, and every state of the Union except Hawaii and just as soon as I can figure out how to get a couple of breeding pairs over there, we'll have some fine coyote hunting right there in Wakiki too.
Time to start studying, folks.
Election Day is coming and it's coming quick.
Do yourself and every other American a favor. Be prepared when you vote whether it's at the polls or by absentee ballot. Get a sample ballot, study the issues and the candidates. If you vote at the polls, take the motherfucker with you so you can refer to it once you get in the booth.
Hey, I don't know if you're a Republican, a fucking Democrat, Libertarian, Independent, Green, Red or whatever. That's your choice. But however you vote, I'm just asking that you are informed when you go to the polls.
A case in point: I was dating a girl shortly after the presidential elections. Now, I had no idea what her political leanings were - I suspected to the right because if some of her opinions - but I hadn't asked because she had such a nice ass and I didn't want to blow it off yet. But the day arrived and she mentioned that she had voted for Obama because "we had to get Bush out of office."
I couldn't fucking believe it. I mean, did she not pay attention in Government class in high school? She never heard of term limits? She couldn't even name the Republican candidate. Yet she voted. Ordinarily I'd give somebody credit for voting but in this case? Uh, no. She couldn't take one evening and check things out.
Shit started going downhill real quick between us after that, nice ass or not.
Do yourself and every other American a favor. Be prepared when you vote whether it's at the polls or by absentee ballot. Get a sample ballot, study the issues and the candidates. If you vote at the polls, take the motherfucker with you so you can refer to it once you get in the booth.
Hey, I don't know if you're a Republican, a fucking Democrat, Libertarian, Independent, Green, Red or whatever. That's your choice. But however you vote, I'm just asking that you are informed when you go to the polls.
A case in point: I was dating a girl shortly after the presidential elections. Now, I had no idea what her political leanings were - I suspected to the right because if some of her opinions - but I hadn't asked because she had such a nice ass and I didn't want to blow it off yet. But the day arrived and she mentioned that she had voted for Obama because "we had to get Bush out of office."
I couldn't fucking believe it. I mean, did she not pay attention in Government class in high school? She never heard of term limits? She couldn't even name the Republican candidate. Yet she voted. Ordinarily I'd give somebody credit for voting but in this case? Uh, no. She couldn't take one evening and check things out.
Shit started going downhill real quick between us after that, nice ass or not.
My Hero
Whitehaven, Tennessee (The Weekly Vice) -
Kenneth E. Bonds, a 45-year-old Memphis man was jailed Saturday after he allegedly shot a teen in his buttocks because the boy refused to pull up his pants.
According to Shelby County Police, two teens, ages 16 and 17, were walking to a candy store around 7:30 p.m. when Bonds started yelling at them to pull up their pants.
He then shouted profanity at the teens, ordering them to "do what he told them to do," because of his status as an adult, according to the arrest affidavit.
The teens ignored Bonds at first, but then retaliated by calling him a "fat ass" who needed to shut up. The young men then attempted to continue on their trip to the candy store.
Investigators say that when the teens passed Bond's location on their way back from the store, Bonds emerged from the home with a handgun. That's when Bonds reportedly shot the 17-year-old teen in the buttocks. The bullet reportedly exited through the juveniles thigh.
The victim was taken to Methodist South Hospital and then to Regional Medical Center in Memphis for further treatment for his injuries. He is expected to make a full recovery.
Bonds was later identified in a line-up and admitted to the shooting.
Bonds was booked into the Shelby County jail and charged with two counts of aggravated assault. He was released after posting $25,000 bond. He is due in court October 11th.
Mandi Milenko
The Weekly Vice
Stolen from the DaleyGator who stole it from The Weekly Vice who stole it from.......
Kenneth E. Bonds, a 45-year-old Memphis man was jailed Saturday after he allegedly shot a teen in his buttocks because the boy refused to pull up his pants.
According to Shelby County Police, two teens, ages 16 and 17, were walking to a candy store around 7:30 p.m. when Bonds started yelling at them to pull up their pants.
He then shouted profanity at the teens, ordering them to "do what he told them to do," because of his status as an adult, according to the arrest affidavit.
The teens ignored Bonds at first, but then retaliated by calling him a "fat ass" who needed to shut up. The young men then attempted to continue on their trip to the candy store.
Investigators say that when the teens passed Bond's location on their way back from the store, Bonds emerged from the home with a handgun. That's when Bonds reportedly shot the 17-year-old teen in the buttocks. The bullet reportedly exited through the juveniles thigh.
The victim was taken to Methodist South Hospital and then to Regional Medical Center in Memphis for further treatment for his injuries. He is expected to make a full recovery.
Bonds was later identified in a line-up and admitted to the shooting.
Bonds was booked into the Shelby County jail and charged with two counts of aggravated assault. He was released after posting $25,000 bond. He is due in court October 11th.
Mandi Milenko
The Weekly Vice
Stolen from the DaleyGator who stole it from The Weekly Vice who stole it from.......
Doing yardwork with CharlieGodammit
Yup, a Tall Boy, a chair, a dog and a nice day.
Life is good today.
Click the top picture to enlarge so you can read my fashion statement
Campbells knuckles under - anything for a buck
http://www.jihadwatch.org/2010/10/campbells-soup-goes-halal-with-approval-from-hamas-linked-isna.html
Ooooh, Hamas approves!
Fuck Hamas and now fuck Campbells Soups. I like Progresso better anyways.
Ooooh, Hamas approves!
Fuck Hamas and now fuck Campbells Soups. I like Progresso better anyways.
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
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Any questions?
Pictures don't lie.
Becks' rally drew far more supporters than the Progressives' bullshit rally did the other day.
Remember this date, folks.
11/02/10
You don't say?
Let's see. Hispanics are predominately catholic that don't believe in birth control and they make up 40% of my countys' population.
Am I expected to be surprised here?
And no, I'm not making a statement about illegals here. As far as I know, the hispanics in question are all legal. I'm just saying........
The latest birth statistics show only Hispanics have fertility rates above replacement level in California. White, black, Asian and American Indian women are not having enough babies to replace dying members of those ethnic groups.
Read more: http://www.modbee.com/2010/10/04/1368889/head-in-hereheadline-goes-in-here.html#ixzz11TZcbRfu
Am I expected to be surprised here?
And no, I'm not making a statement about illegals here. As far as I know, the hispanics in question are all legal. I'm just saying........
The latest birth statistics show only Hispanics have fertility rates above replacement level in California. White, black, Asian and American Indian women are not having enough babies to replace dying members of those ethnic groups.
Read more: http://www.modbee.com/2010/10/04/1368889/head-in-hereheadline-goes-in-here.html#ixzz11TZcbRfu
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Quitting Copenhagen
You know, it's the habits that are connected to the habits that make quitting hard. Taking my latest for example (Copenhagen), popping in a chew right after a meal, right after climbing in the truck, during coffee time but worst of all, when I'm watching TV and that was a ritual in itself.
Okay, after the meal was easy. Take a shot of lemon juice when I finished my meal. you don't even want to eat pussy after that shit, much less a chew. Everything tastes sour after lemon juice.
The truck? the cure there was either walk or pop in some gum. Light shit.
Coffee time was and still is hard. What I had to do was break up the coffee habit. During the week I would wait until later than usual (even if it was 15 minutes) before my first cup. During the weekend was harder. I truly enjoyed laying in bed, even if it was 4 AM, and drinking my first cup. I had to force myself to get up and either drink it in my Camoflauge BassPro Easy Chair or go outside and drink it in the pre-dawn morning which to be honest with you, I enjoy a hell of a lot more. Seriously.
The toughest? When I was doing nothing but watching TV and that's because of a simple ritual. I'd pick up my can with my left hand from the gun/redneck magazine/chew/beer table, toss it to my right hand without even thinking about it, pack it down and grab a chew without looking. How did I get over that?
Easy. I started drinking heavily. I started tossing beer cans instead. No shit, that really works. I get so fucked up at night I sleep either in my Camoflauged BassPro Easy Chair or barely in my bed which is less than 10 feet away. Sometimes I crash in between them. Fuck, I even keep a blanket between the living room and bedroom door. Even CharlieGodammit knows to curl up with me on frigid nights when it gets below 80 degrees. The Evil Cat water dish is 3 feet away in case I need to puke - fuck them Evil Cats.
No shit, I haven't been to bed sober in 6 weeks and 2 days but you know what? Neither me nor Deb has had a chew since. I just hope shes' had an easier time at it.
Motherfuckers, I'm a ragin' alcoholic but at least I don't chew anymore.
Okay, after the meal was easy. Take a shot of lemon juice when I finished my meal. you don't even want to eat pussy after that shit, much less a chew. Everything tastes sour after lemon juice.
The truck? the cure there was either walk or pop in some gum. Light shit.
Coffee time was and still is hard. What I had to do was break up the coffee habit. During the week I would wait until later than usual (even if it was 15 minutes) before my first cup. During the weekend was harder. I truly enjoyed laying in bed, even if it was 4 AM, and drinking my first cup. I had to force myself to get up and either drink it in my Camoflauge BassPro Easy Chair or go outside and drink it in the pre-dawn morning which to be honest with you, I enjoy a hell of a lot more. Seriously.
The toughest? When I was doing nothing but watching TV and that's because of a simple ritual. I'd pick up my can with my left hand from the gun/redneck magazine/chew/beer table, toss it to my right hand without even thinking about it, pack it down and grab a chew without looking. How did I get over that?
Easy. I started drinking heavily. I started tossing beer cans instead. No shit, that really works. I get so fucked up at night I sleep either in my Camoflauged BassPro Easy Chair or barely in my bed which is less than 10 feet away. Sometimes I crash in between them. Fuck, I even keep a blanket between the living room and bedroom door. Even CharlieGodammit knows to curl up with me on frigid nights when it gets below 80 degrees. The Evil Cat water dish is 3 feet away in case I need to puke - fuck them Evil Cats.
No shit, I haven't been to bed sober in 6 weeks and 2 days but you know what? Neither me nor Deb has had a chew since. I just hope shes' had an easier time at it.
Motherfuckers, I'm a ragin' alcoholic but at least I don't chew anymore.
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Sophie
Unfortunately, my 13 yr old baby got ill Wednesday morning and I had to put her down Friday morning. Man, I miss her.
Maybe Punkindog will show her around doggie heaven.
I'm sure they're up there chasing Evil Cats together right now.
My heartfelt sympathies.....
Me-oh-my-oh!
Down in Lafourche Parish, Louisiana, Boudreaux gets a job with BP helping with the cleanup of the oil spill. He reports for work and is told to speak to a supervisor about his assignment.
He finds the man and asks, "What it is I supposed to do?"
The supervisor tells him. "Go to the animal shelter and clean the pelicans."
Two hours later, Boudreaux comes back to the supervisor and says, "Okay, dey all cleaned. You want me to cook some rice now?"
Thanks, Tom. I almost choked on my crawdad and shrimp boilins there.
He finds the man and asks, "What it is I supposed to do?"
The supervisor tells him. "Go to the animal shelter and clean the pelicans."
Two hours later, Boudreaux comes back to the supervisor and says, "Okay, dey all cleaned. You want me to cook some rice now?"
Thanks, Tom. I almost choked on my crawdad and shrimp boilins there.
Tolerance
I am perplexed that so many of my friends are against a mosque being built near Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant. The mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.
That is why I also propose, that two gay nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque thereby promoting tolerance within the mosque. We could call the clubs “The Turban Cowboy” and “You Mecca Me So Hot”.
Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and have an open barbeque with spare ribs as its daily special. Across the street a very daring lingerie store called “Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret” with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.
Next door to the lingerie shop, there would be room for an Adult Toy Shop (Koranal Knowledge?), its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store, maybe call it “Morehammered”?
Thanks to Skeeter from http://www.deaddog.com/
That is why I also propose, that two gay nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque thereby promoting tolerance within the mosque. We could call the clubs “The Turban Cowboy” and “You Mecca Me So Hot”.
Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and have an open barbeque with spare ribs as its daily special. Across the street a very daring lingerie store called “Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret” with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.
Next door to the lingerie shop, there would be room for an Adult Toy Shop (Koranal Knowledge?), its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store, maybe call it “Morehammered”?
Thanks to Skeeter from http://www.deaddog.com/
That's why I read the comments too
I got this via email from a reader that didn't leave his name. Thanks, though. It would've been better had he used a Smartcar instead of an AK copy.
A comment on an article written by a professor at UT about the recent suicide by madman there.
Article written by a UT Professor. I found the link on another forum. One of the comments there was, "What would the author's response be if someone replaced 'AK-47' in the second to last paragraph with 'Prius' ". The fastest response team in the world couldn't have gotten there before the Prius madman had run over dozens of students.
http://www.statesman.com/opinion/palaima-u-s-gun-laws-allow-normal-day-942601.html [/quote]
Indeed. Someone got it, One down, and only infinity left to go.
stay safe.
A comment on an article written by a professor at UT about the recent suicide by madman there.
Article written by a UT Professor. I found the link on another forum. One of the comments there was, "What would the author's response be if someone replaced 'AK-47' in the second to last paragraph with 'Prius' ". The fastest response team in the world couldn't have gotten there before the Prius madman had run over dozens of students.
http://www.statesman.com/opinion/palaima-u-s-gun-laws-allow-normal-day-942601.html [/quote]
Indeed. Someone got it, One down, and only infinity left to go.
stay safe.
Political quote of the month
“We have serious enemies and growing threats throughout the world. Unfortunately, we have an administration whose idea of a rogue state is Arizona.”
-Mitt Romney
-Mitt Romney
US to issue a travel advisary for Europe
I gotta tell you, it's kinda hard to travel in Europe and stay away from transportation hubs seeing as you pretty much need to use them to get to the tourist sites and other places you shouldn't go to.
So basically we've got a small bunch of unbathed, uneducated, underfed religious zealots holding the entire world hostage.
By EILEEN SULLIVAN and MATT LEE, Associated Press Writers Eileen Sullivan And Matt Lee, Associated Press Writers
WASHINGTON – The Associated Press has learned the Obama administration is considering a broad warning for U.S. citizens to avoid public places in Europe due to new al-Qaida threats.
Such a move could have significant implications for European tourism.
U.S. officials told the AP on Saturday that the State Department may issue a travel warning as early as Sunday advising Americans to stay away from European tourist sites, transportation hubs and other facilities for Europe because of new threat information.
State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley declined to comment on the matter. But he said the administration remains focused on al-Qaida threats to U.S. interests and will take appropriate steps to protect Americans.
So basically we've got a small bunch of unbathed, uneducated, underfed religious zealots holding the entire world hostage.
By EILEEN SULLIVAN and MATT LEE, Associated Press Writers Eileen Sullivan And Matt Lee, Associated Press Writers
WASHINGTON – The Associated Press has learned the Obama administration is considering a broad warning for U.S. citizens to avoid public places in Europe due to new al-Qaida threats.
Such a move could have significant implications for European tourism.
U.S. officials told the AP on Saturday that the State Department may issue a travel warning as early as Sunday advising Americans to stay away from European tourist sites, transportation hubs and other facilities for Europe because of new threat information.
State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley declined to comment on the matter. But he said the administration remains focused on al-Qaida threats to U.S. interests and will take appropriate steps to protect Americans.
Friday, October 01, 2010
How does a family get picked for an Obama backyard chat?
You wanna come to my backyard, motherfucker? I'll be exercising my 2nd Amendment Rights, serving nothing but pork and inviting Woody.
I guarantee you'll never come back again, bitch.
How does a family get picked for an Obama backyard chat? A nice yard helps.
By Holly Bailey
In recent weeks, President Obama has stepped out from behind the podium and taken his message on the economy to backyards around the country. He turns up at these gatherings in shirtsleeves and no tie to field questions from average American citizens.
It's a move aimed in part at reviving the president's dismal poll numbers, which now show that most of the country disapproves of Obama's job performance and believes him to be out of touch with its economic problems.
But do you ever wonder how the White House chooses where the president will go?
It's not random. So far, the White House has chosen backyards in swing states that not only will be the chief political battleground in 2010 but also will probably play a big role in 2012, including Iowa, Ohio, New Mexico and Virginia.
According to administration officials, advance teams pick a place and then begin scouting for families, sometimes based on recommendations of Obama allies.
Last week, John and Sandy Clubb of Beaverdale, Iowa, received a phone call from a White House staffer informing them they were one of seven families being considered to host Obama's trip Wednesday to Des Moines.
The Clubbs told CNN's Suzanne Malveaux that they were mystified at how they made the list. While both are registered Democrats and had supported Obama in '08, neither had actively campaigned for the president.
Maybe it was because they both work in education: Sandy is the athletic director at Drake University, while John is a former firefighter who now teaches social studies and religion at Holy Trinity Catholic School.
In the end, though, the deciding factor appears to have been how the Clubbs' house looked on camera. "It all came down to your backyard," Sandy Clubb says a White House staffer told her.
I guarantee you'll never come back again, bitch.
How does a family get picked for an Obama backyard chat? A nice yard helps.
By Holly Bailey
In recent weeks, President Obama has stepped out from behind the podium and taken his message on the economy to backyards around the country. He turns up at these gatherings in shirtsleeves and no tie to field questions from average American citizens.
It's a move aimed in part at reviving the president's dismal poll numbers, which now show that most of the country disapproves of Obama's job performance and believes him to be out of touch with its economic problems.
But do you ever wonder how the White House chooses where the president will go?
It's not random. So far, the White House has chosen backyards in swing states that not only will be the chief political battleground in 2010 but also will probably play a big role in 2012, including Iowa, Ohio, New Mexico and Virginia.
According to administration officials, advance teams pick a place and then begin scouting for families, sometimes based on recommendations of Obama allies.
Last week, John and Sandy Clubb of Beaverdale, Iowa, received a phone call from a White House staffer informing them they were one of seven families being considered to host Obama's trip Wednesday to Des Moines.
The Clubbs told CNN's Suzanne Malveaux that they were mystified at how they made the list. While both are registered Democrats and had supported Obama in '08, neither had actively campaigned for the president.
Maybe it was because they both work in education: Sandy is the athletic director at Drake University, while John is a former firefighter who now teaches social studies and religion at Holy Trinity Catholic School.
In the end, though, the deciding factor appears to have been how the Clubbs' house looked on camera. "It all came down to your backyard," Sandy Clubb says a White House staffer told her.
Skeeters' dogs
Elmo and Betty Lou.
I'm willing to bet that Skeeter hunts these hounds judging by the fact that they're kept in a pen rather than a living room. Right on, Brother. Send me some pictures of the game they've trailed. I'll post that too.
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