You could have heard a pin drop

An oldie but one well worth the reprint.
JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible. Rusk responded:
"Does that include those who are buried here?"
DeGaulle did not respond.
You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied,
'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.
"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained,
''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."
You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly:
'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
You could have heard a pin drop.
 
-Stevienatt

My kinda guy

Click to enlarge.
-Thanks, Scott.

Fucked myself again

I've been off work for the past 2 weeks due to my Grandpa Bud finally up and dying on us and a scheduled vacation and one of the things that I promised myself was that I wouldn't turn it into a 2 week drunk. I compromised - I only drank every other day and only a couple of times to excess.
Today was my first day back to work.......
So I get off work tonight and I'm thinking "Okay, you had a pretty good day today. Shit got out of hand for a minute but you handled it, didn't have to go crying to nobody for help. It was a good day. You do NOT need to drink tonight.  You woke up clear-headed this morning and enjoyed it. Think of the money you'll save. You can do this. One day at a time, fucker."
Then I popped in that Merle Haggard cd. That was a fucking mistake.
Been home an hour and I'm on my 4th beer.

Wired AND pissed as hell

-Bella

Talk about desperation

COLUMBUS, Ohio – A Republican congressional candidate from Ohio, countering criticism from a House GOP leader, said Monday that he did nothing wrong by wearing a Nazi uniform while participating in World War II re-enactments.
Rich Iott told The Associated Press in an interview that he took part in the historical re-enactments to educate the public, and does not agree with the Nazis' views or their actions against Jews.
Asked whether it was wrong to wear a Nazi uniform, Iott said: "I don't see anything wrong about educating the public about events that happened. And that's the whole purpose of historical re-enacting."

Give me a fucking break.
Is this the best they can do in trying to discredit the guy? That he pretended to be an enemy soldier in a historical re-enactment?
And I don't care if it is a GOP leader doing the whining.
Good God......

Yeah. What he said.

-Stevienatt

Do a good deed today

Saw this article over at Cranky Chicks With Guns and asked if I could reprint it so the word would get around.
Please, if you could spare a couple of bucks to help these kind folks out......
Or maybe copy-n-paste this to an email or your own blog if you run one?
You can see what these people do at: http://soldiersangels.org/
Give 'em a hand - send them a couple of bucks, spread the word, shoot a burglar.



Soldiers’ Angels Break-in, Vandalism: Time to Dig Deep

Posted October 11, 2010 by Sarah
TXGunGeek over at Gun Geek Rants published a call for donations; some piece of crap broke into Soldiers’ Angels down in San Antonio a couple of weeks ago, stealing electronics and vandalizing the building. Until I read that blog entry, I didn’t know anything about this at all.

The good news is that the human garbage was caught; the bad news is that he didn’t exactly have the stolen merchandise on him (and, of course, didn’t volunteer to repair the damage that he caused). Folks at SA are looking at having to eat costs associated with replacements and repairs, which is horrible because they weren’t the ones doing the wrong thing.
I don’t often ask y’all to do anything, especially when it involves money (because I don’t have much and feel like a turd for telling y’all that you should do something that I can’t/won’t do), but this time’s different. I was blessed this month with some freelance-writing income, so I’m nicely, respectfully asking y’all to consider doing the same thing that I just finished doing. This isn’t some sort of request for y’all to tell me what a wonderful person I am, either – I’m only letting you all know that I’m leading by example, which is the only proper way to go about doing most things in my opinion.
Should you want something nifty in exchange for your money, the Soldiers’ Angels store has a variety of merchandise. You can get something for yourself; have it sent to a specific service member if you have the mailing address; or let Soldiers’ Angels ship your purchase to a person of their choosing. You can send somebody in the service all sorts of cool stuff, including coffee. You can also order a Vet Pack, full of useful items for veterans in a VA hospital.
And to Charles Edward White, 42 years old and a career criminal: you’re a festering pile of suck and fail, not to mention a detriment to society. I hope that, the next time you attempt to commit a crime, somebody stops you – permanently. Either get with the program and straighten your life out or stop stealing decent folks’ air. Asshole.

I met the Good Fairy today

I met a fairy today that would grant me one wish.
"I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant that wish!"
"O.K. then," I said; "I just want to die after the Democrats get their heads out of their asses!"
"You crafty bastard" said the fairy.
 
-Stevienatt

My sentiments exactly

Election Day will come soon enough.

Another one of Curtis Lowes' pigs

Blogrolls

Okay, I've been having some problems accessing my blogrolls to keep them up to date. Mark sent me some tips, Jamie sent me some tips even though she officially hates me again, and I had some spare time and a 12 pack of Busch.
I don't know if I got lucky or did something right but suddenly I could edit them. I don't know if this was a permanent fix but while I could access them I took advantage of it and deleted a dozen blogs that were no longer valid but more importantly, I added 3 that I really like. They are:

Aardvarks and Asshats, Big Fat Nerve, and Hookers and Booze.

You can find the links in the "Politically Incorrect" blogroll.
Check 'em out, have fun and tell 'em I said hey!

***Also added Patriots' Corner on Monday***

Yeah. That'll work. You bet.

My future Headquarters

You bet

They're my genitals and I can wash them as often and as fast as I want.

I wonder if that dog's for sale?

Oh yeah. She's hot.

I bet her earlobes hang lower than her tits do.

Maybe they're hoping for a slow night

Gotta be California (again)

Is he looking at you or me?

In spite of his less than impressive IQ score, Mohammed's ability to shoot at two different targets simultaneously kept him on the squad.

-Yolo

No no, I'm okay, Officer.

Fuck, I was gonna post something but I forgot what it was. Are Friday nights great or what?

Skeeters' South Carolina Coyote

And now it begins.....

I got my mail-in ballot delivered today along with the sample ballot I mentioned a few posts ago.
No, I haven't filled it out yet. I know how I'm voting as far as candidates go but I want to study some of the initiatives that are on the ballot.
Please do the same. Study all aspects, weigh the consequences and then vote the cocksuckers and their bleeding heart programs out.

Look at yourself in the mirror, Phil.......

This is coming from a country that is considering (if they haven't already) not only legalizing pot but also smal amounts of heroin, cocaine and LSD?
Hey, I don't agree with legalizing weed here in Kalifornia but this is the pot calling the kettle black here.


TIJUANA, Mexico -- President Felipe Calderon said Thursday that a California ballot measure to legalize marijuana represents hypocrisy in U.S. drug policy for encouraging consumption while at the same time demanding that Mexico and other countries crack down on drug trafficking.
"For me, it reflects a terrible inconsistency in government policies in the United States," the Mexican leader said late Thursday in an interview with The Associated Press.







Read more: http://www.modbee.com/2010/10/07/1372931/tijuana-gains-some-bounce-amid.html#ixzz11mLctoQJ

Why I still use Windows

-Stevienatt

Fucking with Jack

There's this guy out at work that I just absolutley hate as does pretty much everybody else. He's just got one of those personalities that makes you wanna firebomb his house, you know? But I gotta work with him so I just keep it under control. At work, that is.
Let's call him Jack because, well, that's his name.
About 4-5 years ago we were working together and things were slow so I was standing just inside a trailer on the dock and started laughing while holding my cell phone. Him being the nosey fucker he is came over and wanted to know what was so funny. I told him I had just downloaded a new ringtone that was funnier than shit and told him to call me so he could check it out. I tell him my number, he calls, my regular ringtone comes through, I tell him I must've fucked something up and apologize, shrugging my shoulders. But now I had his phone number because he was too fucking stupid to block it before calling me.
I go home that night, go to http://www.zabasearch.com/ and get his home address. Now I got his personal information. What am I going to do with it? I don't have a clue yet. The only thing I do know is that I'm going to sit on it until he forgot he called me.
Fast forward a few months. It's Christmas time and the parking lots are full. I don't know what made me think of this but it ain't bad at all.
I sit down and write a bunch of notes in different color inks on different papers. They read:

"Hey, I hit your car and I don't have insurance. I can see the damage is less than a couple of hundred bucks so if you'll cantact me, I can just pay you off. My name is Jack M****s, my number is 555-2345 and I live at 234 D******* St, Salida. Please don't call the cops, I may have warrants too."

Then I just troll the Wal-Mart parking lot and look for cars that are so beat up you couldn't tell new damage from old damage and leave one of those notes on the windshield. If the registration is expired, it's an added bonus. Then the tweeker that owns the car comes out, sees this note and sees dollar signs.
He calls Jack up, Jack tells the guy to fuck off and then answers the door a little while later to some pissed off crankster that ain't slept in 3 days wanting some money to pour down the hole in his arm.

The Jack comes to work the next day ranting and raving about some motherfucker trying to strongarm him out of a couple of hundred bucks while I'm sitting there looking all innocent.

I think Jack got called a couple of times that first year, once or twice the next year and I can't tell you if he's still getting any, but I still spread some Christmas cheer every year - after I call him from a blocked number to make sure it's still current.

Coyote Facts

Coyotes don't mate for life. They may keep the same partner for a few years but it's not a lifetime thing. Kinda like humans - as long as your shit is tight, it's all good.
Actually the reason is that either the female gets too old to breed or the male loses dominance in the pack. Again, kinda sorta like humans.
Usually only one pair in the pack breeds and this is the dominant pair - I hate the term alpha but I'm going to use it -  while beta dogs help rear the pups once they're born (63 days after mating give or take a day) by helping the alpha male bring home the bacon. Beta females will also babysit on occasion.
The only time another pair in the same pack will breed as well is if the pack has suffered heavy losses due to predation. I don't know this for sure but I've been told that dual litters also come when the rabbit/rodent population is on its' high cycle, about every 7 years.
Usually, only 2 pups out of the litter will survive their first year. They either die from disease, accidents, or older males kill them. Again, like humans.

Nice hair

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks:
"What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith. The midget."
 
Thanks, Bella. I did get a grin out of that one.

You can't make this shit up

Go figure

-Stevienatt

Go figure.......

It's true. This is the toughest baddest dog I have ever owned. That motherfucker will attack and kill a wounded coyote when I cut him loose, protect my house and his yard from any intruder, and even keep me safe from a menopausal woman for sure.
Yet he'll lick a cats' ass given half a chance.

Do I need to say it again?

Oh hell, okay. If you insist.
Fuck Obama and his best bro Mohammad, the goat fucking child molester.