Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon......

Married men, BEWARE.

The burps can destroy a marriage.

You can blame Steve for that.

My Friday

I do believe that I'm going to call in tomorrow and go shoot a coyote.
I quit hunting during the deer season for a couple of reasons.
#1 (and I believe that Will is going to pull my redneck card for this) is that I don't deer hunt. Honestly, I hate the taste of California deer (too bitter) and besides, deer are too damned cute to shoot. Sorry, Will.
#2, I don't want to blow anybody elses' chance to get their deer by my spoiling their stands. Just because I won't shoot deer doesn't mean that I'll interfere with another persons' sport. I can be considerate, ya know.
But the season is over now. It's time to put a coyote in my sights.

Mournful sound

I'm sitting here tonight watching a show on John R. Cash and during a segment about his collaberation with that fucking hippie Bob Dylan, the train whistles starting blowing down in the freight yards south of town.
Wonderful timing.....

You may be a redneck if.....

You've ever googled where it's legal for first cousins to marry.
Let me save you a little time.

Alaska, Alabama, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vermont, Virginia, Washington D.C., and Maine (yes Deb, I am awaiting your comment) provided the happy couple undergoes genetic counceling.

There you have it. May I point out that Oklahoma is not on the list?

And we're done......

Thanks, Scott - ya fucking pothead.

My office

Top photo: The loading dock from my perspective.

Bottom: Truck # 11 of 18 today.

Yup, it's true. I actually work for a living. I don't like it but I do like having a roof over my head, food for me and CharlieGodammit and money for a steady supply of Busch and gunpowder.
I work for a major grocery chain on the Left Coast in the Distribution Center - warehouse for all you regular folks - loading trucks. I won't tell you my employer. I don't want to compromise their reputation in any way, shape or form. They've been good to me over the years and I appreciate it. And I also don't want to get fired for embarrassing them.
Some days I load, some days I get other work on the dock, but I put in 40+ hours a week, 10 hours a day, 4 days a week.
And for you that want to make union members out to be lazy and liberal, I am a union member - Teamsters, Local 439. The days of the union members working at their own pace, walking off the job at will, and generally misbehaving are long gone. The main thing my union offers is a decent (not great) wage, good medical benefits, and free representation in case of discipline to make sure the punishment is justified and not excessive. As far as me being lazy because I'm a Teamster? Come out and do my job. I fucking dare you. Load 18 to 22 trucks in a 10 hour day. You do the math, that's less than 1/2 hour per truck.
I've been at the job for damned near 20 years now. I don't like the type of work (I was a machinist by trade) and I feel my age every night when I finally get home, but it pays pretty good and the medical benefits are very good.
That's the difference between me and a liberal. I'm working at a job I dislike but I'm paying my own way and can proudly say that everything I have, I earned. No handouts for me or Woody.

I'll be your friend, Little Girl......

Another "Aw Fuck" moment in time

Goooooood Morning, Boys!

Babe magnet

PLEASE don't breed!!!!

I'm just sayin'

When you flush and you suddenly have corn floating in your bathtub, you have a plumbing problem.
Welcome to my Wednesday.......
Eighty dollars, a retarded plumber and 2 gallons of bleach later......

Ol' Blue has it pegged

WE WON, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

Aunt Opal..... Jesus.....

Yup, got them titties tucked into her britches. No top, just britches. And out in public no less.

Fucking Okies, I swear.

I don't remember who sent this but thanks to you, whoever you are.

My advice to the House of Representatives

Listen up, motherfuckers. Here's the deal.

We the People took our House back from the Liberals by a huge majority, the biggest upset since 1932.
There was a reason for that. The reason was that a vote against a liberal was a vote against Obama. We couldn't vote him out yesterday but we damned sure could shitcan his asskissers.
Obama's hype wore off. People began to see through him (finally, the transparency he promised?) for the egomaniac he really was, for the socialist agendas that he tried to push even as Europes' socialist governments were falling apart. People began to see the arrogance of his staff and cronies.
We got tired of him spending money the country didn't have. We got tired being told that we needed to spread our "wealth" around.
We got tired of the fact that our economy was being ignored so the liberal agenda get be advanced.  We feared that Bushs' tax cuts would expire, making a devastated economy even worse.

So what did we do? We used the greatest privilege we have and voted the liberals out and the conservatives in. We are putting our faith in you to do what we want. You've got 2 years to show some balls and give us that Hope and Change that Obama promised but couldn't or wouldn't deliver.
2 Years. It ain't long. Show us what you can do or we'll kick your asses out too and get us some new blood in again.

It's the big day today!

So get your asses out and vote. Take your State and our Country back.

Remember, a vote for a conservative is a vote against the Obamessiah and his cronies.

Fur and hide handling tools

From top to bottom:

Fleshing knife for scraping fat and membrane off the inside of the hide.

Hand axe for whacking off footses and shit.

Skinning knife for unzipping the li'l fuckers.

Beaver skinning knife for those places you can't use a sharp point like the ears and nose.

The fleshing knife has a 16" blade and 24" overall length.

The skinners have 4" of blade length.

Best Halloween costume EVER!

Where's a Monster Truck when you really need one?

This picture was taken in New York instead of Iran, Saudi Arabia, France or Yemen, believe it or not.

It's happening again

I've got a 12 pack plus 3 in the icebox and I'm drinking lemonade.
I'm thinking I need to see the doctor about this.

Slavery in the 21st Century

"So we're going to provide a $4,000 tuition credit, every student, every year, but students, you're going to have to give back something in return. You're going to have to participate in community service. You're going to have to work in a homeless shelter, or a veteran's home, or an underserved school, or join the Peace Corps."
- Barack Obama

Via Flopping Aces

NO!!!! say it ain't so, Obamessiah!!!!!!!

In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I'm circumcised!
Quickly I jumped up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver license photo and it was that same color. Black.
I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair.
But it's a wheelchair!!!
That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled!!!
I said to myself, aloud 'This is impossible. It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled.''It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me I turn around, and it's my boyfriend. Just what I needed!!!
I am a homosexual, and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend. Oh, my God..... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive! !!
Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and OH,noooooo...I' m Bald!!!
The telephone rings. It's my brother. He is saying, 'Since Mom and Dad died the only thing you do is hangout, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of crap... Any job.
Mom?... Dad?... Nooooooooo.. .Now I'm also an unemployed orphan!
I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV-positive, bald, and an orphan.
But he doesn't get it.
Frustrated, I hang up. It's then I realize I only have one hand!!!
With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out.
I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses.
There's trash everywhere.
Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker....
Pacemaker?
Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV- positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood.
At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, 'Sweetiepie,my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided which inaugural party we are going to for Obama ?????
Say it isn't so!!!
I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed,drug addicted, Jewish queer on a Pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald,orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend ,but please, oh dear God, please don't tell me I'm a DEMOCRAT....

Fridays......

I'm so fucked up tonight it ain't funny.
I've been through 5 chapters on my new coyote book only to realize that I was reading Petersons' Field Guide. I started on coyotes and ended  up on sea lions. I thought it kinda sorta strange that them coyotes eat salmon and hang out in kelp.
With a little luck I can find and focus on a camel toe picture for Will and the boys before the night is out.

Mortgage payment? Yeah, right.....

I'm headed to the BassPro tomorrow. I need to get a couple of skinning knives. But...... I'm wanting an air rifle, a 22-250 set-up (dies, powder, primers and bullets), a winter camo coat, a squirrel call, any new coyote calls they may have, wool socks, a sinking 6 weight flyline, a winter camo rifle wrap, a binocular chest harness, winter shooting gloves and a fine pork loin from the Piggy Place (thanks Woody, that place fucking ROCKS!!!) on the way home.
It may be an expensive day here.......