Okay, check this shit out.
I'm working some overtime and lately I've been watching a coyote family mousing a cornfield on my way home. My ex brother-in-law is threatening to shoot me, an old sweetie is trying to contact me and I got 2 calls to hunt coyotes tonight.
As you might tell, things are a bit hectic at the moment.
I've got to check Wile E and family tomorrow night after I get off. I also need to call Mark and tell him to fuck off, call the ex (there's a reason she's an ex) and tell her the same thing and call Tom and Jorge to set up a meeting.
I'll post more shit Saturday.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Site hits
I'm sorry but I gotta share this. I think it funnier than hell.
Lately I've been tracking hits to my site (quit tripping) so I can see where my visitors are from and what attracts them to my literary masterpiece. Seriously, it's to make your visit more enjoyable.
If it's a stateside hit, I get a town and state and a referral, usually Google with search words ranging from Dogs to babes to White Trash - generally what you'd expect from my caliber of readers. And a huge amount of you are return readers. This is good for me. I go no further, this is all I want to know.
For an overseas hit, I get the same info but I dig a little deeper.
I've found that I get a shitload of hits from all over the mid and near east. This gets my curiosity up. Is this because of my "Fuck Mohammad" remarks? Am I finally getting a fatwa that I feel I truly deserve? Is some mad arab gonna look me up to behead me and try to buttfuck Charliegodammit?
Naw.
Invariably the search word or entry page is "Camel-toe" (From an arab? Imagine that!), there's a lengthy stay on the site and it ALWAYS is about the Babes, Skanks or Camel-toe categories.
So much for the "devout" muslim.
Maybe I should add a goat child category. My muslim hits will skyrocket. Maybe Obama bin Laden himself will comment.
Fuck, I'm gonna run with this. I hit a fair amount of livestock auctions and I do see some fairly sexy (to Achmed and the Boys) goats and sheep now and again.
Lately I've been tracking hits to my site (quit tripping) so I can see where my visitors are from and what attracts them to my literary masterpiece. Seriously, it's to make your visit more enjoyable.
If it's a stateside hit, I get a town and state and a referral, usually Google with search words ranging from Dogs to babes to White Trash - generally what you'd expect from my caliber of readers. And a huge amount of you are return readers. This is good for me. I go no further, this is all I want to know.
For an overseas hit, I get the same info but I dig a little deeper.
I've found that I get a shitload of hits from all over the mid and near east. This gets my curiosity up. Is this because of my "Fuck Mohammad" remarks? Am I finally getting a fatwa that I feel I truly deserve? Is some mad arab gonna look me up to behead me and try to buttfuck Charliegodammit?
Naw.
Invariably the search word or entry page is "Camel-toe" (From an arab? Imagine that!), there's a lengthy stay on the site and it ALWAYS is about the Babes, Skanks or Camel-toe categories.
So much for the "devout" muslim.
Maybe I should add a goat child category. My muslim hits will skyrocket. Maybe Obama bin Laden himself will comment.
Fuck, I'm gonna run with this. I hit a fair amount of livestock auctions and I do see some fairly sexy (to Achmed and the Boys) goats and sheep now and again.
My hero
Elmer Keith - Cowboy, Guide, Big game hunter, Expert marksman, Designer of the 357, 41 and 44 magnums, and Godfather of modern reloading.
I cannot say enough about what this man contributed to the world of shooting and firearms. If you want to read his story in his words, find a copy of "Hell, I Was There" and Sixguns".
If there was one man that I could fashion my life after it would be Mr. Keith with Col. Jeff Cooper (USMC Ret.) running a very close second.
Both are deceased now but their legends will live on.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Fun and games in traffic
Bear with me on this one, it's got a bit of a lead-in before the story.
Anybody that's ever used a hand coyote call knows that it's something that you can't do real well right out the gate, especially coyote vocalization calls like barks, yips, howls and ki-yis.
And you gotta be able to switch the calls up without a lot of thought. For example, you're using a wounded jackrabbit squall and you bring in a pair of coyotes. You take the furthest one out first, but the near one has hit afterburner at the sound of the shot and is headed over the nearest ridgeline. Then you snatch your ki-yi and give it a try, hoping it'll either stop or circle back around to check on its' partner. The ki-yi sounds like your puppy when you stomped on its' little paw - "Ike-ike-ike-ike". My point is that you don't have time to figure out how to use it then, you better already know where to bite that reed, how much air to push through and when to taper off.
And because of that, I generally have a coyote call within reach for that spontaneous practice blow. I practice at home in my Camouflaged BassPro Easy Chair, I practice when I'm driving, damn near anywhere except work and the library.
So today was a pretty pleasant day, temps were in the upper 60s and sunny. I was driving around town with my window down, doing errands, enjoying the weather and just happened to get caught at the busiest intersection in town right at noon. I was playing with a couple of different calls, blowing them softly, while it took me 3 light cycles before I got up to the intersection. Right when the light changed, I honked hard on the ki-yi call and watched traffic in all 6 lanes immediately come to a stop while everybody tried to figure out if they were the one that ran over that puppy.
It's a good thing I was first in line because it was still stalled by the time I made the next light.
And no, I didn't do it on purpose.
Anybody that's ever used a hand coyote call knows that it's something that you can't do real well right out the gate, especially coyote vocalization calls like barks, yips, howls and ki-yis.
And you gotta be able to switch the calls up without a lot of thought. For example, you're using a wounded jackrabbit squall and you bring in a pair of coyotes. You take the furthest one out first, but the near one has hit afterburner at the sound of the shot and is headed over the nearest ridgeline. Then you snatch your ki-yi and give it a try, hoping it'll either stop or circle back around to check on its' partner. The ki-yi sounds like your puppy when you stomped on its' little paw - "Ike-ike-ike-ike". My point is that you don't have time to figure out how to use it then, you better already know where to bite that reed, how much air to push through and when to taper off.
And because of that, I generally have a coyote call within reach for that spontaneous practice blow. I practice at home in my Camouflaged BassPro Easy Chair, I practice when I'm driving, damn near anywhere except work and the library.
So today was a pretty pleasant day, temps were in the upper 60s and sunny. I was driving around town with my window down, doing errands, enjoying the weather and just happened to get caught at the busiest intersection in town right at noon. I was playing with a couple of different calls, blowing them softly, while it took me 3 light cycles before I got up to the intersection. Right when the light changed, I honked hard on the ki-yi call and watched traffic in all 6 lanes immediately come to a stop while everybody tried to figure out if they were the one that ran over that puppy.
It's a good thing I was first in line because it was still stalled by the time I made the next light.
And no, I didn't do it on purpose.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Gotta give me an "A" for effort
Hey, what the fuck does a good ol' boy gotta do to have them mooslims declare a fatwa on me?
They did it for that babe that did the "Draw Mohammed Day" and scared her so bad that she quit her job, moved and went into hiding.
Now I've put some serious effort into this shit, calling Mohammed a child molester and a goat fucker (basically an arab Okie when you think about it) and I get several hits a day from the mid-east. Surely somebody has noticed....
They did it for that babe that did the "Draw Mohammed Day" and scared her so bad that she quit her job, moved and went into hiding.
Now I've put some serious effort into this shit, calling Mohammed a child molester and a goat fucker (basically an arab Okie when you think about it) and I get several hits a day from the mid-east. Surely somebody has noticed....
Manners are everything
I had a "date" tonight - nothing special planned, just get together, maybe grab a bite to eat, something like that.
But after waiting and waiting on her to call and say she was ready I finally called her and went straight to voice mail. She still hasn't returned my call.
Okay. I'm a big boy. I can handle being canceled on so you can wash your hair, attend to your dying mother, dig the crud out from under your toenails, whatever. But godammit, at least have the decency to call so I can make other plans.
I took a shower and even scraped my face, cleaned the inside of my truck and even put on a clean pair of socks, all for nothing. I could be laying in a tractor rut at this very moment waiting to kill something.
It really pissed me off that I shaved when I didn't need to.
But after waiting and waiting on her to call and say she was ready I finally called her and went straight to voice mail. She still hasn't returned my call.
Okay. I'm a big boy. I can handle being canceled on so you can wash your hair, attend to your dying mother, dig the crud out from under your toenails, whatever. But godammit, at least have the decency to call so I can make other plans.
I took a shower and even scraped my face, cleaned the inside of my truck and even put on a clean pair of socks, all for nothing. I could be laying in a tractor rut at this very moment waiting to kill something.
It really pissed me off that I shaved when I didn't need to.
We don't have a problem?
By The Numbers
30% of immigrants in the United States are illegal.
61% of illegal immigrants are ages 25 to 44 (working age).
73% of children of illegal immigrants are U.S. citizens by birth.
47% of illegal immigrants ages 25 to 64 have less than a high school education; by contrast, only 8 percent of U.S.-born residents in that age group have not graduated from high school.
6.8% of students enrolled in grades K-12 in U.S. schools are children of illegal immigrants. In California, Arizona, Colorado, Nevada and Texas, at least 10 percent of K-12 students are the children of illegal immigrants.
35% of illegal immigrants are homeowners.
11% of people living below the poverty line in the United States are illegal immigrants.
$11,900 is the median income for illegal immigrants. By contrast, the median income for U.S.-born residents is $23,300.
• • •
States with the largest illegal immigrant population:
California: 2.6 million
Texas: 1.45 million
Florida: 1.05 million
New York: 925,000
New Jersey: 550,000
Sources: Congressional Research Service; Pew Hispanic Center; Public Policy Institute of California
Read more: http://www.modbee.com/2010/11/13/1428720/we-say-no-to-illegal-immigrants.html#ixzz15HquREJn
30% of immigrants in the United States are illegal.
61% of illegal immigrants are ages 25 to 44 (working age).
73% of children of illegal immigrants are U.S. citizens by birth.
47% of illegal immigrants ages 25 to 64 have less than a high school education; by contrast, only 8 percent of U.S.-born residents in that age group have not graduated from high school.
6.8% of students enrolled in grades K-12 in U.S. schools are children of illegal immigrants. In California, Arizona, Colorado, Nevada and Texas, at least 10 percent of K-12 students are the children of illegal immigrants.
35% of illegal immigrants are homeowners.
11% of people living below the poverty line in the United States are illegal immigrants.
$11,900 is the median income for illegal immigrants. By contrast, the median income for U.S.-born residents is $23,300.
• • •
States with the largest illegal immigrant population:
California: 2.6 million
Texas: 1.45 million
Florida: 1.05 million
New York: 925,000
New Jersey: 550,000
Sources: Congressional Research Service; Pew Hispanic Center; Public Policy Institute of California
Read more: http://www.modbee.com/2010/11/13/1428720/we-say-no-to-illegal-immigrants.html#ixzz15HquREJn
Saturday, November 13, 2010
What's on your dinner table tonight?
I gotta move
KAHOKA, Mo.
Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon has shot an eight-point buck, and is donating the meat to an area food bank.
Nixon's office said in a news release that the governor killed the buck while hunting in Clark County in northeast Missouri on Saturday.
Read more: http://www.kansascity.com/2010/11/13/2428292/missouri-governor-bags-8-point.html#ixzz15CrE5FUb
Could you imagine if the Governor of California shot a deer?
There would be round-the-clock protests at the Capitol building by PETA, hippies and other assorted scum.
Barbara Boxer would introduce legislation to ban hunting and the Governors' future opponent would use his hunt against him with great effect.
Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon has shot an eight-point buck, and is donating the meat to an area food bank.
Nixon's office said in a news release that the governor killed the buck while hunting in Clark County in northeast Missouri on Saturday.
Read more: http://www.kansascity.com/2010/11/13/2428292/missouri-governor-bags-8-point.html#ixzz15CrE5FUb
Could you imagine if the Governor of California shot a deer?
There would be round-the-clock protests at the Capitol building by PETA, hippies and other assorted scum.
Barbara Boxer would introduce legislation to ban hunting and the Governors' future opponent would use his hunt against him with great effect.
Friday, November 12, 2010
It's true, I'm old.
I was planning to hunt coyotes in the morning but the later it gets (it's 11 PM now) the less I want to get up before dawn to go.
I've got my gear set up and ready to go, the truck is fueled and coffe is made. It would take me less than a half hour to get my ass out the door but somehow I don't think I'm gonna make it.
I can remember when I was a youngster I would already be out there in a sleeping bag so I could be ready to hunt before daybreak.
I used to think my dad was a puss when he wasn't ready to go when I was. Now I understand.
I may understand but fuck, I hate what's happened to me.
I've got my gear set up and ready to go, the truck is fueled and coffe is made. It would take me less than a half hour to get my ass out the door but somehow I don't think I'm gonna make it.
I can remember when I was a youngster I would already be out there in a sleeping bag so I could be ready to hunt before daybreak.
I used to think my dad was a puss when he wasn't ready to go when I was. Now I understand.
I may understand but fuck, I hate what's happened to me.
My exciting life
I actually had a 10 hour day today even though everybody else worked an hour OT. I think my boss Billy felt obligated to let me go because I covered his ass big when he fucked up royally first thing this morning.
I picked up an 18 pack and a shitload of fried chicken and planned on a quiet evening at home drinking and eating greasy bird, but within 10 minutes Mom texted that Grandma Millie died. She wasn't my granny, but my li'l nieces' grandmother. But I had known Grandma Millie for 30 years. She was also TJs' mom, TJ being the only one of my old crew left alive. Millie had fed me, hid me out and chewed my ass like I was born to her.
Then a cutie that I've been trying to - well, you know - for a couple of months calls me. She's at the cantina, fucked up, and MAY swing by in a bit for some "quiet" time. Myself, I was planning on some ass slapping, hair pulling, name screaming time but we can call it whatever she wants. But I ain't holding my breath on that one.
So what am I doing? Drinking beer and eating some Chicken Barn bird just like I planned.
Yeah, I am sorry that Millie died but she was 90 some-odd years old. No, I ain't planning on getting laid. I'm going to bed fairly early, getting up early and hunting coyotes, then headed to the BassPro for wool socks tomorrow afternoon.
I picked up an 18 pack and a shitload of fried chicken and planned on a quiet evening at home drinking and eating greasy bird, but within 10 minutes Mom texted that Grandma Millie died. She wasn't my granny, but my li'l nieces' grandmother. But I had known Grandma Millie for 30 years. She was also TJs' mom, TJ being the only one of my old crew left alive. Millie had fed me, hid me out and chewed my ass like I was born to her.
Then a cutie that I've been trying to - well, you know - for a couple of months calls me. She's at the cantina, fucked up, and MAY swing by in a bit for some "quiet" time. Myself, I was planning on some ass slapping, hair pulling, name screaming time but we can call it whatever she wants. But I ain't holding my breath on that one.
So what am I doing? Drinking beer and eating some Chicken Barn bird just like I planned.
Yeah, I am sorry that Millie died but she was 90 some-odd years old. No, I ain't planning on getting laid. I'm going to bed fairly early, getting up early and hunting coyotes, then headed to the BassPro for wool socks tomorrow afternoon.
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