Friday, March 25, 2011

CharlieGodammit

CharlieGodammit went to Doggie Jail yesterday.
Some sorry motherfucker made the mistake of reaching over his gate and got his shit tore up as a result. This is the second time it's happened.
I came in from work last night and Johnny Law was there in my driveway taking pictures with yellow tape across my driveway. This is generally not a good thing.....
I got out of my truck and asked the the policeman if he had a warrant and if not to get the fuck off my property and he said that it was a crime scene and a warrant wasn't needed.
He told me to calm the fuck down - that he was there to collect evidence and my wolf/dog and me if I gave him a problem both of us would go to jail.
I ain't real stupid and can take a hint.
I invited him inside and listened to what he had to say.
He was real nice. He told me that somebody had reached over CGDs' gate and got chewed upon to the tune of 48 stitches. Because there was an injury involved, he had to take the dog and asked me to control him so there wouldn't be any complications.
Complications? The only complications are gonna be if you mistreat my dog.
 When I escorted him out back, CGD jumped up on me (never have been able to break him of that) and then sat like a good boy. He was covered in blood and just prouder than hell, the silly motherfucker. He didn't have enough sense to hide in the neighbors' yard and hide the evidence.
The only thing he did to the stranger (the officer) was to lick his hand.
I presented the Law with his County registration, his Rabies Shot certificate and my dog. God, that hurt.
I was told I could retrieve him in the morning, it was just a formality and if there were any problems I could count on him to testify for CGDs' character.
I was at the pound 2 hours before they opened, me and CGD were hollering at each other long before the staff showed up. I was talking, he was howling and before long we had the entire pound yapping, yippling and barking. It was great.
I ate hamburger today, he had steak.
I love that motherfucker.........

8 comments:

Toaster 802 said...

I am going to post my place with no trespassing signs, pay the $5 fee to the town clerk, and right below hang beware of dog signs. So if you jump my fence, ignore my no trespass AND beware of dog signs, there is very little some mouth breather can take to an ambulance chaser to sue me with. I hope.

Just in case, throw up some signs to cover your ass.

Glad wolf dog is out. Let's hope the dumb ass with the bargain basement IQ does not return for seconds.

Bella said...

Kisses to both you and CGD. Loves ya!

Niki said...

Glad CGD is home safe and sound. Since he had his rabies shot he is probably OK there. But you might want to brush his teeth to keep him from getting hoof and mouth disease from the person he bit.

Bushwack said...

Someone should lock the stupid fucker up that reached into CGD's territory. That's the one that should be jail for his own good. If you are too stupid to know not to put your hand in a dogs yard if you don't know the dog (Hell even if you do) you are too stupid for living and should be caged.

wirecutter said...

He is locked up, Bushwhack.
Believe me, I made sure of that if for no other reason than to head the lawsuit off at the pass.

Bubbaearle said...

What was the reason given for that dipshit to tresspass on your property and reach over the gate?

Good luck against the ambulance chasers.

Mr. Miracle said...

HA! Out-fucking-standing! Give CGD a pat on the head and an atta-boy from me, please. I love dogs like that. Job well done, to both of you. Now, if that stupid shit would only try reaching into someone else's cell like that, the taxpayers might save a little money.

Mulligan said...

damn good dog

good thing they let him out I was all set for a jailbreak.

I'll go put my chisels and hacksaw away now but they're easily accessible if you need 'em.