Thursday, May 05, 2011

Thankee, thankee

To all the kind folks that gave me tips on my earlier post worrying about CharlieGodammit getting poisoned by my soon-to-be-ex-neighbors:
Thanks, some of the suggestions I will implement right away, such as suggestions about baiting him and using a shock collar which I bought tonight.
Some will go into effect in a week or 3 concerning cameras as soon as I can possibly afford them.
Some I can't do (but still appreciate) such as putting him in the garage or caging him in the house. It was 95 degrees here today and I have a detached garage. I went in the garage to get an AC filter today and broke out in a sweat after just a few seconds. The heat would kill him. I won't cage a wolfdog (or any dog, for that matter) he's just too active. Caging him would break him and I don't want that. Plus, I'm gone 14+ hours a day.
Now. Only me feeding him. He's funny about that. The Sikh market down the road employs a guy a couple hours a night to help out with re-stocking and Donnie is a little slow but he's a great guy. I have him hold CGD when I go in and slip him a few bucks and a doggie treat for CGD while I go score my beer. CGD will never accept the DT from Donnie until I come out even though he likes him.
CGD was an adult when I got him so I never got the opportunity to train to not eat anything from the yard. And believe me, that motherfucker is a chowhound. He kills and eats birds, ground squirrels, and I suspect the occasional stray cat that wanders into his yard. I try to keep his weight down so I only feed him one sixteen ounce can of dogfood a day, a couple of doggie treats and 1 piece of velveeta (at bedtime) a day. Now, that motherfucker runs his ass off all day long, patrolling his yard - I know, because I watch him when I'm off - yet when I tried to weigh him on my digital bathroom scales for this post, it wouldn't even register. I climbed on with a weight of 209, then picked him up and tried again. It wouldn't even register which tells me he's in excess of 90 pounds (the scales max out at 300 pounds) but I figure he's at about 125 pounds. He's getting his calories somewhere.
He's a big-ass wolfdog. He was a slim and trim 90 pounder until I cut his nuts off, then he gained more weight - all muscle and attitude.
And this is why I bought the shock collar - to keep him from eating shit that I don't personally give him. I plan on spending the weekend watching him from inside, and nailing him whenever he tries to stalk anything, eating shit friends and strangers (to him) throw over the fence, and anything else he may find. And I'm hoping that not only will this keep him from getting poisoned by my asshole neighbors but it may also help him to drop a few pounds.
But again, I want to thank each and every one of you motherfuckers that took the time to suggest something. I appreciate it, I really do. Y'all kick ass.


John said...

One thing no one may have mentioned is feed him from the same dish and he can be trained to eat only from that dish.Raised and trained Dobermans wheh living at home with my folks.We had a seperate feeding dish for all the dogs and they were trained to eat only from that one bowl.

Hog Whitman said...

Take him to your local feed store to weigh him. They should have a floor scale and be happy to let you use it for free.

wirecutter said...

He's not allowed in the feed store since the last "incident".
I didn't know they would have lambs penned up inside.....

dhanna59 said...

My two cents here,
Fuck being nice, fuck being PC, Fucking march your big ass over there and read 'em the "you've had enough horseshit and you're not gonna take it any more ,or else, I shit you not,knock it off or you may not live to regret it" riot act!! Let 'em know in no UNCERTAIN terms that if they do not cease and desist with their hijinks and act like decent folk, HELL is comin' like a freight train!...There are too many things we've discussed that you can do to those idiots, mainly , cost 'em money that they ain't got. That is the quickest way to get 'em gone, bleed 'em green...The CGD you gotta pen up in the house with the A/C or fans on high. The dog will survive with water and ventilation, you would too, just might not be as comfortable as you'd like. You can't have it exactly as you'd like it. I think Brute Intimidation is your only recourse, but I don't have EYES ON the situation.

dhanna59 said...

P.S.- I think all the feeding training shock collar stuff is bad bizzness. Just run those fukkers right off the hill Ken. Be relentless in your intimidation and police assisted nightly visits. Make living there suck for them. They'll leave soon enuf.

wirecutter said...

Fuck D, I'm not worried about him if I keep him inside, I'm worried about my goddamned house. He'll shit on my Camo BassPro Easy Chair, eat all my food, tear up my toilet seat and buttfuck my only remaining Evil Cat.
I didn't name him CharlieGodammit because it sounded cool....

dhanna59 said...

Holy shit, that was so funny I really did shit my pants this mornin! But that's what soap and water is for! When you LOL, be careful what happpens!