Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Modesto ain't New York, motherfucker. We don't go for that shit around here.

Coming in from work I hit my last stoplight and traffic came to a screeching halt, the reason being about 20 OWS protesters waving signs, disrupting traffic, throwing hissy fits and generally misbehaving.
I saw a sign that said "We are the 99%" and I was thinking Let's see, Modesto has 200,000 people in it and they've got 20 protesters. That's a far cry from 99%.
Anyways, there's this one hippie, great big motherfucker about 6' 5", crossing the street back and forth waving his sign and holding up traffic, so I yelled at him to go find a fucking job and let me get home from mine.
He responds with "Shut the fuck up and go pay your taxes" and I came back with "I do."
"And what do you get from that?" he yells.
"Self respect, you cocksucker. Try it sometime."
Then this dumb, stupid sonofabitch, walks out into traffic, comes over to my truck and then lays his hands on my door and starts to say something.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I gassed him. I hit him full in the face with a looooong blast of pepper spray. I mean, I leaned out the window and followed him all the way to the ground with it.
He hit the ground and started rolling around crying like the little bitch he was, but he wasn't getting much sympathy. Horns and cheers erupted all around.
Just as the light changed I leaned out and told the fucking hippie "Better get used to that shit son, if you want to be a real revolutionary."

Now check this out: I didn't try to get away, I didn't try to hide, I just drove home. The law has yet to arrive, and it's been over an hour, so I'm guessing that not a single soul got my licence plate and turned me in.
Stupid fuckers, thinking they're going to get sympathy from people that are out busting their asses for a living by holding them up from getting home where they can relax, have a drink or smoke a joint and try to forget about their day.


I always love to throw in a snide comment after a confrontation if I come out on top. Not so much when I lose.
Gotta maintain that cool-as-ice image, ya know?

115 comments:

Anonymous said...

He advanced on your truck and grabbed the door??
You then defended yourself with pepper spray?
I don't see the problem.
Paul in Texas

Mr. Miracle said...

OUT-FUCKING-STANDING, Sir! I would give a bucket full of DNC left nuts to see a video of that. I am sitting here watching feeds from Oakland, just waiting for the dock workers to beat the crap out of the protesters when they try to fuck with their daily bread. I salute you, brother. Just be prepared for it to get worse, from what I see.

wirecutter said...

Unfortunately this also ain't Texas, Paul. Can't be hurting the hippies, you know.

Stinkwilly said...

Kenny, I got my right hand up in the air with a clenched fist thinking ...YESSSSS!!! You did GOOD!!!
As you drove off you should have said .....count your lucky stars you hippiefied fuck that I didn't shoot your worthless ass. One guy on TV put it best when he described these assholes....
They are little rich bastards that are against EVERYTHING, no matter who, or what it is.

TexasFred said...

Here in Texas you could have shot his smelly ass...

Good going Ken, some may see your actions as wrong, I see it as inevitable, all over, and soon...

MrG's said...

Awesome!!!!!, he is lucky that CGD wasn't in the truck...

drjim said...

Way to go, bro!

Oswald Bastable said...

SYmpathy for hippies:
it's someehre in the dictionary between 'shit'and 'syphilis'

ParaPacem said...

I salute you, sir! You rock!
It would have been PERFECT if the radio had been playing 'Another One Bites the Dust", but what the hell, a lotta folks see you as a hero tonight.

rpm2day said...

Feel that sting? That's pride fuckin' with ya. Oh wait, no it's not, it's pepper spray! Idiot is lucky he didn't get shot.

Brian in Florida said...

Cheers Wirecutter, If you did not have a girld friend I would take you out for a beer. Screw that I am still gonna take you out fore a beer, and buy one of those prissy drinks for your girl, you I respect,,

PISSED said...

WOOT! Plus 1 for Kenny :)

K Powers said...

If I come out to California can I ride shotgun? We don't have any of those silly bastards here in Indianapolis (yet), so my environment is very target-poor.

I forgot...Fuck Obama!

Jay G said...

This story brings a tear to my eye, it does.

NOT LIKE THE PEPPER SPRAY DID TO THE HIPPIE, THOUGH!

Out-FUCKING-STANDING!

Anonymous said...

Kenny -- The guy let his mockingbird mouth overload his hummingbird ass. You are right Kalifornistan is not Texas but if yall get enough country folks to vote out the San Fran libs, you might start getting some freedoms back. Good luck
Paul in Texas

JP said...

I wish I could have seen that.

Stretch said...

At 6'5" he clearly thought he had "the edge." Nice of you to clarify things for him.
Pity CGD wasn't there to enjoy the pepper cured hippy jerky.

Skip said...

Fuckin'A !! Bro.

Paul, Dammit! said...

This reads like a 'how to' manual on proper self-defense techniques. AND, it's fun to read!

Bushwack said...

Hahahahaha Damn man, GOOD FUKIN JOB BRUTHA... That's perfect. Some will say you over reacted, I say you applied just enough force necessary as to remove the threat. However; you are in Cali so keep an eye out. They may not show up at your house because they MIGHT HAVE VIDEO! meaning, they are prepping an assault squad to deal with CGD and a batshit crazy fucker with a lot of guns... LMAO. Good for you man one up for WC.

Grumpyunk said...

Damn, made my day to read that. Good job, bro.

Tom said...

Excellent job, Wirecutter! One small step towards reclaiming our great nation from the tyranny of the minority!

thegunslinger said...

I salute you. You are officially my new hero!

Ramon said...

Congrats all the way from Alabama! Sounds like a real workable plan of action. The whole group of worthless a-holes need a double blast of this.

NHSparky said...

Hippie fuckstick best be thanking Gaia, Allah, or whatever deity he worships that he tried pulling that shit in California where you can't even open carry anymore.

Anytime you want to bail on that worthless state, lemme know. Folks like you deserve far better than the return of Zombie Governor Moonbeam. I left Orange County 5 years ago and the only thing I regret is not having left sooner.

Old NFO said...

OUTSTANDING! :-) Thanks for standing up my friend!

Erinyes said...

You just single-handedly redeemed our state from all those who think it is nothing but a bastion of left-tarded fruits and nuts. I salute you, Sir, as a Native Son of the Golden West!

Michael Z. Williamson said...

Hey, one of those protesters was in jail for SIX WHOLE HOURS! They know what it's like to be repressed!

So many idiots, so few bulldozers.

Borepatch said...

The protesters really have a sense of entitlement that they're so righteous that they can even attack people.

That's one strange idea of a Moral High Ground.

wirecutter said...

Damn!
And not a single comment condemning me for my actions.
Imagine that.

drjim said...

Condemn you?
Shit, we wish could have been there with you!

TouchStone said...

The so-called "99%" can't do math any more than they can take a shower or get a job.

Well done.

the band-aid bandit said...

Well, I guess I'll have to be the first to condemn you for your actions.............In that you didn't confirm that you emptied the can of spray at him, then beaned the worthless piece of shit commie scum with the now empty can. It's not like the cops would get prints off it, as the hippies would've turned it into a "water pipe" before it even hit the ground......

weaponoffishdestruction@gmail.com said...

Best post ever. In the words of the immortal Homie the clown...Homie don't play that!

dhanna59 said...

Wirecutter, FUKKIN A RAY!!!HOOAH,GET SOME !!!!Dude If I coulda had you as my Ma Dueuce truckgunner in Iraq and the 'Stan, that woulda been the SHITAKE!!! Ever seen a .50 barrel glow red at night? Not a problemo...'till it turns white! Then my friend Kenny, you wouda been smokin that ass for sure!!!

Anonymous said...

Wife told me once way back in the late 80s in Sacramento some protester sat on the hood of her car. She got out, tased the maggot, and drug him off to the gutter. Yeah, she's a keeper.

DirtCrashr said...

Congratulations from the Bay Area. Smite a Hippie and an Angel gets its wings.

KG said...

Beautiful! You just made my day.

Anonymous said...

Anyone have a used Chinese tank we can borrow to take to these protests? :)

Anoun Amouse said...

Righteous.

MitziG said...

Love it...Kudos....Wish I could have seen it, hell...wish I could have been your co-pilot.

The Digital Hairshirt said...

Sir, I commend you! If the law does catch up, please post an address where donations can be made to your legal fund so I can make a contribution.

I recently escaped Kalifornia with my family, settling in the Free State of Tennessee. I am waiting for the next civil war to erupt, and I hope good citizens like you can get past the border to join us here.

Toaster 802 said...

You are a cruel bastard Ken.

Do you realize the pain and suffering you put that hippie through?

To get that pepper spray off, he had to wash with SOAP AND WATER!

Sometime the cure is worse than the cause. There is years of therapy ahead for this tool, thanks to you.

"It was terrible Doc. Evil capitalist bubbly suds and a horrible, (gasp) fresh, clean scent!!"

Did I say congrats?? : D

PacRim Jim said...

You handled it wrong.
First you fire a warning shot into their leg, then use mace.

Fat Man said...

You are a man of tremendous self restraint. I would have opened the door after the hippie went down and kicked him a couple of times for good measure.

Anonymous said...

I found your post very funny and incredibly refreshing. The MSM is so kiss ass to the Occupy types, it is fun to read someone who is saying "no, these people are in fact annoying little shits." This is my first time on your site, but after reading about the pepper spray adventure, it won't be my last!

wirecutter said...

Thanks again, one and all, for your comments.
And to all my new visitors, welcome. Hope you enjoy my outlook on life.

WildChild said...

These whiners just don't get it. And a whole lot of working people in this country are truly fed up with their crap. My hat is off to you, Wirecutter. If it comes down to it, I might be just a 58 year old working woman from Texas, but my aim is good & my Glock works quite well.

Robert said...

Outstanding!

There's nothing quite like dishing out a face full of revolution to cap off a week of work.

Zilla/MJ said...

FUCK YEAH!

Expect a few more hits, I posted this to the A-C page.
https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=289001314456399&id=127576023926747

John said...

The dirt bag was lucky. I think you showed restraint.
If I owned the company that made the pepper spray you'd be getting a free refill.

John

Anonymous said...

Fucking awesome, wire!

Wilit said...

I just ran across your blog from a cross post on Calguns. Your blog is pure awesomeness. You've got a new follower from San Joaquin County.

-Ryan

Anonymous said...

Disagree with the folks who defend potentially shooting this guy but other than that right on!
Steve

LC Aggie Sith said...

This, to seven orders of magnitude.

I will post a special hooker in your honor tomorrow ;)

Corona said...

Fucking awesome, Wire! That's the most refreshing article I've read on the net in a long time. Like your gravatar too. Heh.

Houston (aka) Tots said...

You got that right. Those stupid little craps don't have a clue what will happen when they try to push us around.

Wirecutter, I live in Texas like Paul. I'm fast approaching middle age and cannot run and have a bad back, but I bust my butt every day to get my job done.

If Occupy Dallas starts some crap up, they will be in for a good old fashioned 'Unfair Fight" by a bunch of old farts who are too old to lose.

You know what I mean.

God bless you brother and hang in there.

wirecutter said...

Yeah, Houston. Wait'll you hit 50, then it hurts when you even think about getting up. We need all the unfair advantages we can get.

1389 said...

Good on you!

Now it's time to recruit good conservative candidates to run against the mayors and city council members who are pandering to the Occubaggers.

Occubaggers are creating public nuisances everywhere they go, and not only by blocking traffic. They are spreading disease by being incredibly filthy in their personal habits, they are making excessive noise, they are costing local businesses a huge amount of money by vandalism and by intimidating regular customers, and they are harboring large numbers of criminals.

It is dereliction of duty on the part of the city governments whenever they refuse to use their police powers to clear these people out and send them packing.

Oh, and by the way, there is no reason why the Occubaggers should ever have been allowed to bring camping equipment into park areas not set aside for camping, or to sleep overnight in areas where this is normally not permitted.

Heck, I LIVE in a motorhome full time, and I PAY for the rent of a lot in an RV park, which includes sewer, water, and electric connections. I wouldn't think of parking on somebody else's land without permission and making a mess. These clowns are giving campers a bad name. Some of us "happy campers" are law-abiding, hard-working Tea Partiers and we do NOT live like pigs!

Miss Marple said...

I LOVE this story, which I saw linked on Twitter. Thank you so much for using the pepper spray. I am a 63-year-old grandmother who has no pity for these horrible OWS people. They are whining losers who don't know anything.

Ya did good!

wirecutter said...

Anonymous - deadly force wasn't justified at that point. Even if I had my 45 in the truck, I still would've gassed him.
Thanks for your comment.

Anonymous said...

Kenny, I'm not sure if I should donate to your legal defense fund, Pepper Spray fund, or your Presidential Campaign fund.

Screw it, I'll donate to all three.

TSgt Ciz

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to drive away after I had done this. The tears in my eyes from laughing would have made it hard to see where I was going.

tmi3rd said...

Well done, good sir! Right amount of force, properly applied. The Facebook Brigade of the Ace Of Spades HQ Moron Nation salute you!

Zimri said...

This... this was a thing of beauty.

I'm told similar results may be had with wasp spray. I'm much shorter than 6'5, so I need something designed for reach.

Gary K said...

Gary from Kansas here..You kick ass..I couldn't be more supportive..

Roll Tide, Our Kicker Sucks said...

Thank you for this. Today sucked, my team lost, I was thinking everything was lost to the bums - and then I read this. You have restored my faith in humanity and hope for the bums LOSING FOREVER. :D

Roll Tide, Our Kicker Sucks said...

Also, fuck Barack Obama.

Anonymous said...

We threw "Easy Rider" dudes like these out of lectures and seminars in 1973. But seems over the years these varmints have reproduced fast and their rotten offspring still don´t want to work for a living.
Keep on spraying!

Jane Austen said...

I don't have any pepper spray. If someone touches my car - or my bod - would it be OK to use my taser instead? I'm really wanting to try it out,and I can't think of anyone more worthy than a bunch of lowlifes who get in my way when I'm trying to work for a living and pay my taxes that support their idiotic lifestyle.

Bartender Cabbie said...

If I saw a giant hippy moving up on me after a verbal exchange I would gas him to.

Stepperg said...

Thank you Wirecutter. As a fellow Californian I want you to know I appreciate your response to that piece of crap. We have to hold the line here and YOU DID!

If the police can't shoot them, I wish they'd bring out the damned water cannons. I can't believe I'm longing for a 1968 skull cracking reaction. That was a horrible time, one which I never thought I'd see again, well, here we are.

Curmudgeon said...

Congrats from Sacramento.

On a related note, there was a guy in Oakland, driving out of a BART (transit) station, and some OWS creep got in front of his car and started pounding on his hood. The guy accelerated and knocked him down, not quite running him over, but good enough. BART police apparently let the guy go! So it isn't full blown Commiecrat out here yet.

Anyway, I'd like to shake your hand and buy you a beer.

SGT Dan said...

Followed a link over here from Ace of Spades HQ. Great job on spraying what sounds like a trophy-class 6'5 Hippius Califorensis.

And any man who will quote SFC Jerry "Mad Dog" Shriver in his profile is OK in my book. He's one of my personal heroes.

skullman said...

Fuckin' A, bro. Awesome. Too bad you did not have time to shoot some pepper spray up his shit-stained asshole. Fuck OWS, fuck hippies, fuck Obama.

Anonymous said...

Bravo sir! BRAVO!!!

Ofay Cat said...

Oh man … are you ever a breath of fresh air.

The Phantom said...

wirecutter, you are The MAN. Good job spraying that prick.

Here in the Demented Dominion of Canada I'd have had to use my Maglite on the fucker, because we don't get to have pepper spray. Or guns. Or self defense, or private property, or free speech...

Yes, there are worse places than California, hard as that may be to believe.

Next time kick him in the balls for me while you're at it.

And yeah, fuck Obama.

Anonymous said...

Well done, sir. Followed a link here from another site. I've now added you to my favourites!

Oh...and fuck Obama.

Anonymous said...

WTF? The gases in OC help destroy the ozone layer.

Next time use a tazer and save a polar bear or something.

Gerry

Anonymous said...

I think you over-reacted. One blast of the pepper spray was probably enough. Otoh, it doesn't hurt to be sure.

Brother Michael said...

Right on, right on, RIGHT ON!!! :D

mot said...

Should have given him a good swift kick in the balls for good measure.

Anonymous said...

If this fucking idiot thinks he wants sympathy, he will find it in his Funk and Wagnalls between "shit" and "syphilis".

Scottiebill from Vancouver USA

Higgins said...

As we say over here in merry old England:
"Nice one! Get in my son!" (I suppose that translates to "Fuck yeah!" in your parlance)

We've got a similar bunch of unwashed hippies here in London trying to hang on the coat-tails of the wretched OWS idiocy. They're too scared to try and camp in the financial district as they know the police will beat the crap out of them, so they went and camped on the steps of St Paul's Cathedral as they knew the Bishop of London would be too Christian-minded to tell them to move on. So what happens? They had to close the Cathedral - first time it's happened since the Blitz in WW2.

Bloody hippie scum. If they really wanted to protest about a genuinely oppressive state run by a rich minority then should take themselves off to camp in Tianamen Square - see how long it would take before they'd be staring down a tank's gun-barrel


Regards from the land of no death-penalty, no guns, no money, and no fun,

Higgins

Proof said...

For the first time in my adult life, I am proud to live 30 miles from Modesto!
Heh.

victor gonzales said...

Man if I didn't hate going to california so much Id almost make the drive over there to buy you a beer and a cigar. These worthless parasite hippies are really pissing me off and this story made my fucking week.

Subvet said...

I admire your restraint.

Anonymous said...

Really, this scammer should send you a frikkin gift basket to thank you for only pepper spraying him. I would have clubbed the prick then kicked him in the face while he was down. Tell him to go to Camp Quan in Oakland if he wants to pull that crap. Scum.

Uncle Kenny in Visalia

sybilll said...

You sir, should never pay for a beer again. Ever. FuckinA

Ofay Cat said...

They never expect anyone to confront their sorry asses. I love what you did. I book marked your site ... ... to quote my favorite movie actor "I'll be back".

Anonymous said...

I think all of you need to re-examine your priorities, this senerio was completely unfair. The writer of this really should have been reinbursed for his pepper spray. :=)

Anonymous said...

As a man of your age and inclinations, I admire your restraint. I might have been compelled to help him wash the pepper spray out of his eyes with the three beers I drank about 20 minutes earlier.

There is an old saying that this particular neanderthal has apparently not heard. "Never pick a fight with an old man, because if he doesn't feel like fighting, he'll just kill you."

Anonymous said...

I can barely express the sinking feeling that I got in my heart from reading about this incident.

If you'd gotten the fuckin' thing on video and put it on pay-per-view, you could be a millionaire.

Sugartits and Proud said...

Thanks for that littl slice of Heaven. I seriously needed that!

Michael Harkov said...

I am fantasizing this scenario right now should the cops come to your door - "you sprayed the whole cannister at him". "Well, I only had the one".

Nicely done, sir. :)

DetroitRight said...

Heh... Good Job! :)

Lisa said...

Good going thems are Obama peeps out there, 1 down,98% to go

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

See, this makes me happy.

Anonymous said...

As a native son of this once great state and a San Franciscan, all I can say is "awesome"! But what about the other 19 Modesto OWSers? Where's your sense of civic duty? Go back and finish the job!

wirecutter said...

I tried. I went back the next day but all that was left was a protest sign taped to a lamp post and a pile of shit in the gutter.

Bailman209 said...

Kenny, GREAT JOB BROTHER! man I wish I could have seen it. I am a bail agent right here in Modesto, if the cops show up and book you, call me and I will get your ass out. Keep fighting the good fight. email me at bailman209@gmail.com and I will give you the contact information in case you need me. don't want the moderators thinking I am trying to advertise here and blocking my post

mudnducs said...

Dear Sir,



Straight talk....and straighter aim baby!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


mudnducs

Ms. Robinson said...

I laughed so hard when you told him he better get used to it. What a bunch of ignorant, whiny piss-ants.

JT said...

It's unanimous here in our office -- we'd have paid money to see that. Hooah.

Anonymous said...

excellant....would have loved to have seen that

Dano said...

Hippies stink! You also should have sprayed him with some 409.

Anonymous said...

It's really amazing how stupid all of you are.

wirecutter said...

Anonymous:
And it's amazing how cowardly all of you are, especially you.
You're afraid to do shit unless you're in a group. Every fucking negative comment I've gotten on this post has been anonymous.
Why don't you grow a pair of balls and stand out in the crowd, you little bitch?

Rich T said...

Nice. Possted.

Rollory said...

"so I yelled at him to go find a fucking job and let me get home from mine. ...

comes over to my truck and then lays his hands on my door and starts to say something."

Fact #1: you initiated the conversation with him. He responded on precisely the same level you initiated. For that, you assaulted him.

"Just as the light changed ... I didn't try to get away, I didn't try to hide, I just drove home."

Fact #2: by your own description, traffic was not being held up by the protesters, but rather by the stop light. The protesters were engaging in their Constitutionally recognized right to peaceably assemble to petition for a redress of grievances.

That LawEnforcement has not bothered you does not mean very much. They don't enforce laws anymore, they just enforce order, be it lawful or not. And they crack down on disorder - be it lawful or not.

And you?

You're not an American. You don't even know the meaning of the word. You're just a bully.

wirecutter said...

Rollory - Go back and re-read the post again, but this time pay attention.
Matter of fact, this reply would be too long so I just did it in a post last night.

NM ranger said...

Rollory:

Any right to petition the government for a redress of grievances does not extend to holding up traffic on a public street nor are such actions protected under the Constitution.

Pretty much in the same way that shouting "Fire" in a crowded theater is not protected free speech.

Fairly simple concepts to understand if you can pull your head out of your ass long enough to take a breath.

Protestor could have taken the higher ground and ignored the comments but instead, responded in kind and moreover, made an overtly aggressive move towards the author. Author merely defended himself from such aggression using minimum force.

The "bully" in this case was the one left on the floor, realizing his mistake of attempting to intimidate someone who refused to acquiesce to his aggression; sucks to be him.

That you are plainly too stupid to understand the dynamics of the situation and grasp that wirecutter could drive away unhindered precisely because of the actions he took is abundantly clear to anyone with half a brain.

I politely suggest you think before you post and illustrate your stupidity to the whole world. Now fuck off while the adults talk and fuck Obama too.

wirecutter: nicely done Sir, I raise my hat to you.

pdwalker said...

That was a thing act of pure poetry, a real thing of beauty.

S.B. said...

I don't care how many times I read this. It is STILL the best post ever!