My future second ex-wife

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

Now here's a motherfucker that takes his bacon seriously. So seriously that he's guarding it with his life.

Ooooh, that smarted.

On Saturdays the local paper prints the mugshots of all the car thieves that were arrested the previous week.
I get a kick out them - there's some seriously tweeked out people there.
Here's my favorite one this week.

I'm curious though as to who delivered that ass-whipping? Was it the owner of the car that caught him in the act or the police that arrested him?
Not that it makes much difference - he's regretting that more than the 6 months probabtion he'll get for car thrft.

What the hell??????

Southern Christian Sportsmen’s Devotional

Eric sent me a copy of his letterhead and information about his organization that helps ill children to realize a dream. I tried to convert the letterhead to download here but I must be doing something wrong because I can't post the picture to save my life.
Anyways, the note in caps is an email from Eric to me and the text below that is from the .doc that he sent along.
This sounds like an outstanding organization. Eric told me that they're all just a bunch of Good 'ol Boys that want to make a difference in a childs' life and from what I've seen on their website, they've done just that.
They're located in Statesboro, GA and they are a non-profit organization. If you live nearby, please consider volunteering some time.
And I'm sure donations, no matter how small, would be appreciated.
Okay. Take a minute out of your day and visit their website please.
Thanks,
-Ken

WE ARE A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION THAT PAYS FOR NOT ONLY THE CHILD BUT THEIR FAMILY AS WELL. WE PUT THEM UP AT OUR LODGE AND PROVIDE ALL THE FOOD FOR EVERYONE. WE DO HUNTING, FISHING, ATV RIDING , GOLF, SKEET RANGE, AND RIVER RIDES. EVERYTHING TO DO WITH OUTDOORS WE HAVE ON THE FARM. WE HAVE DONE 4 SO FAR AND OUR NEXT ONE WILL BE IN MARCH WITH THE HELP OF JIMMY HOUSTON. WE HAVE A FILM CREW THAT DONATES THEIR TIME TO DO THIS . TROPHY QUEST OUTDOORS FILMED THE LAST HUNT WE HAD. IF YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD THAT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.
THANKS AGAIN



Greetings,
We are sending you these cards in an attempt to spread the word of Jesus Christ.

As an organization, our mission is to provide everyone with three weekly inspirational devotions written by sportsmen who love Jesus and the outdoors. In addition, we actively seek young children (8 to 18) that have a critical illness of some type that love fishing and hunting. We arrange for these children to hopefully have the “Dream Hunt/Fish Trip” of their life at no cost.

Please visit our website at www.go-scsd.com and see what we are all about.
God Bless,
Southern Christian Sportsmen’s Devotional

My "feel good" post of the day

Spam Text Message Likely Blew Up Suicide Bomber In Her Moscow Apartment
A suicide bomber planning an attack in Moscow on New Year's Eve was killed in her apartment when her bomb was prematurely detonated by an unexpected text message.
According to Russian security sources, the text message -- a remote trigger for a cell phone belt bomb -- wished her a happy new year, accidentally setting off the blast. The accident may have saved hundreds of lives, these officials believe, as the woman intended to use the bomb in a suicide attack near Red Square later that night.
The woman is believed to be part of the same group that struck Moscow's Domodedovo airport on Monday, killing at least 35 people and wounding another 100. Officials haven't directly said who they believe is behind the terrorist attacks, but anonymous sources have pointed to Islamic North Caucasus rebels, which have been in conflict with the Russian state for over a decade.
Cell phones have become a remote detonator of choice for terrorist groups the world over.

http://gatewaypundit.rightnetwork.com/2011/01/spam-text-message-likely-blew-up-suicide-bomber-in-her-moscow-apartment/

Obama: Let us help you fund terrorism.

Awww. So sweet and innocent....

And you're waking me up why?

He's irritated but not sure why.

And finally.....

Now he knows for sure he's irritated and doesn't much give a fuck why.
Check out the the size of his teeth. You know, the teeth that's gripping my hand?
Sure glad he likes me.......

Even CGD couldn't figure this one out

So I'm having a few beers tonight and I run a little short so me and CharlieGodammit wander down to the local 7-11 to score another six pack.
Okay. I can deal with homeless folks spending their canning and panhandling cash on lottery tickets hoping to win it big. I can deal with drunks (like me) that are a few cents short and arguing with the hardworking Sikh clerk. I can even deal with the tweeker that thinks he's god and deserves a break on refried beans, but what I have a hard time dealing with is the well dressed lady driving a Lexus that is arguing with Mr. Singh over the price of a single motherfucking banana at 11 PM.
I mean, who in the fuck buys a banana at a 7-11 at 11 PM? Especially when Suzie's Sex Shop is only 2 blocks down the road? Or when you can buy a cucumber with bumps on it (for your pleasure) at the Savemart only 4 blocks down the road?
Are you serious? You're lucky CharlieGodammit didn't bite your stupid ass on the way out.

As long as I'm in a foul mood....

......here's a picture of Cindy Sheehan, the woman that sold her son's dignity for her own personal gain.
Rot in hell, bitch.

Weather reports and ranch supply

For the best hands down no bullshit fucking A weather report for your area go to:
http://www.conlinsupply.biz/
Click on the weather link, enter your zip code and there you have it.
It'll give all the detailed (serious fucking details, too) weather information anybody needs to know be you rancher, farmer, hunter or city boy.
And oh yeah, see if they have a feed-n-seed near you.

I'm skeered

CharlieGodammit just woke up from a sound sleep, got up, came over to me and gave me a big face lickin' for nothing, then laid back down and went back to sleep.
What the fuck?

I know, Hon. I know.

FUCK YOU OBAMA!!!!!!

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama issued a plea for restraint in Egypt after meeting with national security aides Saturday to assess the Cairo government's response to widespread protests threatening the stability of the country.
A White House statement said Obama "reiterated our focus on opposing violence and calling for restraint, supporting universal rights, and supporting concrete steps that advance political reform within Egypt."

Supporting political reform in Egypt?
 Hey Fuckhead, Egypt is the only arab ally that Israel has had since Anwar Sadat implemented the treaty and you're supporting political reform? You do know that the party that's likely to come to power is a branch of Hamas, right?
What about our ally and friend, Israel?
You're showing your true muslim colors, motherfucker.

Another addition to the blog roll

Check out My Daily Kona at the link below and in my sidebar.
http://mydailykona.blogspot.com/
Good shit here and well written.

Thanks, lady.

Like most men, one of my least favorite things to do is shop unless it's at the BassPro or someplace like that.
When I go to the store I go with list in hand and a plan of attack so I will spend the absolute least amount of time in there that I can.
This thing I hear about grocery stores being a great place to pick up women? Uh-uh. Not me. Not usually, anyways. But today...... Today I'm in the store to buy fruit to dry and I'm standing there looking at 4 (no shit, four) different kinds of pears, all the same price, when I realize that somebody is next to me. Being the polite motherfucker I am, I say "Sorry 'bout that, I didn't mean to be in your way." Then I turn to see this very attractive woman standing there who says, "Oh! You're not in my way. I'm having the same problem you seem to be having."
Bam! The fruit decisions go out the window but to keep the conversation going I keep talking about it and mention that I'm drying the fruit because it's a healthy snack blah blah blah, all the while thinking she's awful damned cute AND friendly and she ain't wearing a ring or a bra and she looks to be just a little younger than me and and and and then she says "Well, pears are a good choice because they're full of fiber and at your age......"
Fucking bitch, I hope you get run over in the parking lot.

Kayate tracks on my tailgate

Rotten li'l bastard.......

What would Obama do?

-Skidmark

Please Mr. Wolfer, come keel kayates.

So I'm coming home the other day and I get a phone call from a Portagee lady with a real heavy accent saying her dairy is overrun with kayates, they've been scarfing her chickens, she was pissed as hell and that she needed a wolfer to come clear them out.
Okay, it's the first time I've ever been called a wolfer, but she has 300 acres with coyotes so she can call me her li'l bitch if she wants.
I drive the 40 miles north and get there about 10 this morning to check her property out. It's dairy up front and fields in the back. 275 motherfucking acres of field that has just been cut for silage.
After she shows me around and I make friends with the resident dogs, I grab my shotgun and rifle and wander around looking at the tracks in the mud and fields. She wasn't lying. Tracks were everywhere and at least one of the kayates was huge - I swear, its' track was as long as my index finger. None of her dogs was that big, so either it was a monster kayate or she has a feral dog running with the pack.
Anyways, I made a couple of sets with no luck (middle of the day kayate hunting sucks) and then her husband Manual pulls up and tells me to choot dem dam kayates, he's tired of hearing Rosa bitch about her chickens. Told me to come early in the morning, they sit up on his silage pile and watch him work.
Okay, I went home and took care of some shit, then got bored and drove back out there around dusk. I parked near the truck scales because that was the only lit area around, grabbed my shotgun and headed out to do a couple of sets on a brushline, leaving my rifle in the open gun case in the back of the truck. I didn't see or hear shit - no big thing, Manuel told me it was an early morning trip.
After it got so fucking dark and foggy I couldn't see, I headed back up to the truck. Okay. It doesn't bother me a bit to get skunked, it happens all the time. And I've been in a slump anyways. No big deal. But what pisses me the fuck off is when I got within sight of the truck, I look up and there's a motherfucking kayate in the back of the truck taking a piss on my kayate rifle. IN THE BACK OF MY TRUCK!!!!!!
And what makes it worse is that I'm loaded with buckshot so dropping him there wasn't an option. Then the little bastard flipped me a bird, jumped out keeping himself between me and the herd and then wandered nonchalantly through the corral, laughing his ass off.
Motherfucker......

Just get in the damned van, lady.

Illinois is officially fucked up

And they wonder why nobody has any faith in the judicial system anymore.


(CNN) -- The Illinois Supreme Court ruled Thursday that former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel met residency requirements and that his name will stay on the mayoral ballot in Chicago.
The justices said Emanuel's opponents did not prove that he had given up residency when he served in the Obama administration in Washington.
"Given the record before us, it is simply not possible to find clearly erroneous the (Chicago Board of Elections') determination that the objectors failed to prove that the candidate had abandoned his Chicago residence," the court ruled in a unanimous decision.


.....the objectors failed to prove that the candidate had abandoned his Chicago residence.....
How about the fact that the motherfucker DIDN'T LIVE THERE FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS?????
His opponents couldn't prove that? All they had to do was produce 1 fucking utilty bill in his name in DC or wherever he was living. Did he have a privately owned vehicle that was registered in the DC area? Could they not come up with a neighbor that could testify that he spent the majority of his nights in the DC area?
Fuck, maybe they should've hired me to prove that he wasn't a Shitcago resident.

It's FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to hunt coyotes I go,
with a boom boom here
and a bang bang there,
hi-ho, hi-ho!

I left out the part about missing, huh?

What? Obama lied to us?

WASHINGTON -- It's a striking statistic.
Without President Barack Obama's health care law, as many as 129 million Americans - half of those under age 65 - could be denied coverage or charged more because of a pre-existing medical condition.
The new estimate by the Health and Human Services Department is more than twice as high as a figure that supporters of the law were using last year.
Without President Barack Obama’s health care law, as many as 129 million Americans _ half of those under age 65 _ could be denied coverage or charged more because of a pre-existing medical condition. The new estimate by the HHS Department is more than twice as high as a figure that supporters of the law were using last year.
It just might need an asterisk.
Most of those millions of people are covered by health insurance at work and don't face any immediate risk of being denied care for their pre-existing medical problems. And as a rule, those who take a new job and sign up in their employer's health plan are already protected by a 1990s law.
"It's a hypothetical situation, not an actual situation," said economist Paul Ginsburg, president of the Center for Studying Health System Change. "Most of these people don't have a problem, with or without health reform, because they get their coverage through their employment, and employer coverage takes everybody." The center is a nonpartisan research organization.

How to drive a liberal crazy

Give them another reason why Obama has GOT to go.

He's a Muslim extremist. Witness his disastrous Cairo speech, in which he toadied to the worst elements of Islam—and betrayed the moderate elements—a) by referring to the 9/11 killers not as "terrorists," but as "violent extremists"; b) by pandering to the notion that there is an Islamic global community ("Ummah") set apart from the rest of the world; c) by apologizing on the West's behalf for the (defensive) Crusades; and d) by announcing that it wasn't the business of the United States to decide which countries can and can't have nuclear weapons (so go right ahead, Mister Ahmadinejad).... Oh—did anyone mention this before?—and his middle name is Hussein, and he made one of NASA's top priorities an outreach program to make Muslims feel good about Islam's alleged contributions to science.

-From the book 365 Ways To Drive A Liberal Crazy

I should've known....

So tonight I tried something new.
I tried taking CharlieGodammits' rawhide chew toy away while sticking my finger up his ass.
Guess which one he objected to the most?

Okay, either you're a bunch of sick motherfuckers or you don't know mean-ass dogs that well.
But damn, how many of you actually read down far enough to read the answer?
I'm sorely disappointed that y'all don't know dogs........

Woody? Well?

CharlieGodammit treats

He would eat that shit up.......

Can't say as I blame 'em

Miriam, the muslim talking doll.

The only thing is, nobody knows what she has to say because nobody has the balls to pull the string.

It's an Okie thing

Egypt today. The United States, next year?

The counter-terror force, rarely seen on the streets, took up positions in strategic locations, including central Tahrir Square, site of the biggest demonstrations this week.
Facebook and Twitter have helped drive this week's protests. But by Thursday evening, those sites were disrupted, along with cell phone text messaging and BlackBerry Messenger services. Then the Internet went down.

I can honestly see this happening here soon, especially after that fucking punk Obama mentioned something about "investing" in the telecommunications industry, a not-so-gentle hint that he's trying to take the internet over.
You know what? Maybe we should listen to the folks with ham radio blogs. Seriously, let's give them a read.
Maybe we should all invest in an inexpensive pair of 2 way radios to stay in touch with your loved ones when all of a sudden you can't dial out.
Lets get our Go-Bags and shit together. Better to have and not need than to need and not have.
Fuck Obama.

We can only hope

We may have been worrying about the muslim threat to our way of life for nothing.
First the government in Tunisia is overthrown, then there's "unrest" in Egypt and now there's been protests in the streets in Yemen.
Maybe with a little luck the entire arab mid-East will implode.

No TOTUS SOTU analysis here, folks

Nope, you ain't gonna get your political news here tonight.
Why? Because I didn't listen to the speech.
Why didn't I listen in the what The Obamessiah had to say?
Because I don't have a TV service, I can't stand to hear his voice or see his face and I don't believe a motherfucking thing the socialist prick has to say anyways.
That's why.
FUCK YOU OBAMA!

RUN!!!!! CATHOLIC ZOMBIE PRIESTS!!!!!!!

Chickenshit bitches

For Tattoo Jim

Just for you Jim, on account you like drawers better than thongs.

Mother of the Year

Erics' hog

I appreciate you sending this in to me, Eric.
I hope it was tasty.

Obama and mama?

Morning, guys!

Ummmm........... no.

Mmmmm, a pesketti sammich!

CAMEL TOE!!!!

Hey Achmed, you need a light?

At least she's working, honey.

Told you I have brass balls

Mohammed the Baby Raper

For those of you that don'tunderstand this, Mohammed took a Jewish girl as a bride when she was only 6 years old. But being the man he is, he waited until she was 9 before raping her. Until then he contented himself by "thighing" her - rubbing the head of his penis on her thighs until he ejaculated.

And seeing as Mohammed is "A Perfect Man" in the eyes of muslims, guess what? They see this behaviour as perfectly acceptable.

Ah, laundry day!

Those violent video games.....

For California schoolkids (Spanish version also)

Talk about attitude!

The last holdout in Barstow, CA

Now you know why they're virgins

It's okay, Homey. I gots you.

Fuck you, Rahm!!!

Okay, I'm a little confused here. I've read stories that said that his name couldn't be on the ballot and I've also read that he can't run even as a write-in. I'm assuming that because it's a matter of residency, he isn't eligble to run at all.
Regardless, he's spent a shitload of money, more than any other candidate, for nothing.
It also showed him that he's not as powerful as he thought he was if a lowly court of law told him to fuck off.
How much do you want to bet that Obama will stick his fucking nose into this pile of shit to help his piece of shit?



CHICAGO -- An attorney says an Illinois Appeals Court has ruled that Rahm Emanuel's name can't appear on the ballot for Chicago mayor.
Attorney Burt Odelson said Monday that the court voted 2-1 to overturn a judge's ruling to keep Emanuel's name on the ballot.
Those challenging Emanuel have said the White House chief of staff did not meet a residency requirement because he lived in Washington and not Chicago when he worked for President Barack Obama. Emanuel has said he always intended to return to Chicago and was only living in Washington at the request of the president.
Chicago's mayoral race is Feb. 22nd.

Just sayin'

When I turned on my computer this morning to read the paper, my home page (Yahoo) had 10 world news headlines. Five out of the ten involved separate terrorism related incidents or stories and every one of those involved muslims.
I'm beginning to think we have a serious problem here.