I've got a pretty good sized back yard with a 4 foot chain link dividing it in half for a couple of reasons: For security reasons and the front half I try to keep half-ass nice. I got some shit stored in the back like an old camper shell under the lemon tree, some scrap iron, shit like that.
This morning I was out picking a couple of lemons for cooking and I noticed the grass was trampled down around the front of the camper shell and there were some scuff marks just inside it. Hmmm, something to keep an eye on.
It's been raining like a motherfucker all night last night and all day today. I wasn't in the mood for work so I called in and had a lazy day. When I let CharlieGodammit out this afternoon he got all squirrelly, and when I went out to see what was up I noticed some movement towards the back of that camper shell. People movement, dammit.
I went back in grabbed my shorty, then went back out. "Let me see some palms, motherfucker."
I guess the shotgun convinced him that I wasn't in a mood to be fucked with. He rolled on his stomach and held his hands out. "My knife's in my bag and I mean no harm, mister. I'm just trying to dry out. Please."
Fuck. "How'd you get in the yard? And why mine? Talk."
"I was doing some yardwork for your neighbor 2 doors down a few days ago and I seen this camper through the fences. When it started storming I remembered it so I skinnied up the telephone pole and dropped into your yard. Man, the shelters are all full, my tent got cut up by the cops and I got no place to go. If you won't shoot me, I'll leave. But I'd appreciate the dry place to sleep tonight, mister."
Remind me to plant a cactus bed under that telephone pole...........
"If you let me sleep here til it clears, I'll work it off, I promise. I ain't no thief. You noticed you still got all this scrap metal?"
"Give me your ID so I can check if you're a sex offender. If you are, be gone when I come back because I'm sending a load of buckshot through that camper."
He gave it to me and I ran his name through the sex offenders' listing on line. Nothing. Fuck, I'm REALLY undecided about this. He doesn't look like a dope fiend (he has more teeth than I do), nothing is missing from my house, yard or garage and something about his actions tell me he's not kidding.
I walk back out, hand him his ID and tell him he's gonna owe me a days' labor this weekend.
As I'm walking back to my warm dry house, I look back.
"You ate lately? Your bedding dry?"
"I had a couple of your oranges earlier. Sucking on a lemon now. I haven't had meat in a couple of days now. And everything's soaked." He grinned at me. He knew he had me when I flipped the shorty over my shoulder.
I went in the garage and dug out a spare sleeping bag, a tarp, and a plastic garbage bag.
"Put your wet shit in the bag. Dinner will be in an hour. Hope you like Mexican."
"Man, I appreciate this. And I'd eat a cat turd if you warmed it up."
"Don't mention it. Any of mine or my neighbors' shit comes up missing they'll find the catfish feeding on your ass downriver in the spring. I suggest you guard it."
So I've spent the last couple of hours washing his fucking clothes and bedding, cooking a better meal than I had planned and scrounging up some extra shit I don't have any use for.
What really pissed me off was that I had already done my good deed for the week on Tuesday when I got a can of beans down from the top shelf for an old lady in the store.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Damn, I'm excited!
I got a new CD in the mail today, "Lovesick, Broke & Driftin'" by Hank WIlliams III.
Damn, Hank III sounds just like his granddaddy and except for the tattoos and long hair, he looks like him too.
Take a listen at him here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uxaf9IfTKDU&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VoU5kmqasY
I first saw him on "The Wild & Wonderful Whites of West Virginia", a documentary on Jesco Whites' family (Straight up White Trash, God bless 'em all) and was shocked on the resemblance between him and Hank Sr.
So the other day I went to http://www.half.com/ and picked up a CD for a couple of bucks and played it while I did housework and danced around the house.
Hank III plays Hank Sr type of music but he also plays what he describes as "hellbilly" and punk country. Not sure if I'll enjoy the punk shit but it sounds like the hellbilly I've seen on youtube is right up my alley.
By the way, if you get a chance check out the Jesco White documentary that I mentioned. It kicks ass. It's available on Netflicks, both streaming video and DVD.
Have lots of beer on hand.........
Damn, Hank III sounds just like his granddaddy and except for the tattoos and long hair, he looks like him too.
Take a listen at him here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uxaf9IfTKDU&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VoU5kmqasY
I first saw him on "The Wild & Wonderful Whites of West Virginia", a documentary on Jesco Whites' family (Straight up White Trash, God bless 'em all) and was shocked on the resemblance between him and Hank Sr.
So the other day I went to http://www.half.com/ and picked up a CD for a couple of bucks and played it while I did housework and danced around the house.
Hank III plays Hank Sr type of music but he also plays what he describes as "hellbilly" and punk country. Not sure if I'll enjoy the punk shit but it sounds like the hellbilly I've seen on youtube is right up my alley.
By the way, if you get a chance check out the Jesco White documentary that I mentioned. It kicks ass. It's available on Netflicks, both streaming video and DVD.
Have lots of beer on hand.........
And The Obamessiah probably will
BAGHDAD (Reuters) – Iraq's capital wants the United States to apologize and pay $1 billion for the damage done to the city not by bombs but by blast walls and Humvees since the U.S.-led invasion that toppled Saddam Hussein.
The city's government issued its demands in a statement on Wednesday that said Baghdad's infrastructure and aesthetics have been seriously damaged by the American military.
"The U.S. forces changed this beautiful city to a camp in an ugly and destructive way, which reflected deliberate ignorance and carelessness about the simplest forms of public taste," the statement said.
"Due to the huge damage, leading to a loss the Baghdad municipality cannot afford...we demand the American side apologize to Baghdad's people and pay back these expenses."
We oughta tell 'em to go get fucked. War is all about blowing things up, breaking shit, having fun and killing the enemy while keeping our casualties down to an absolute minimum which in urban warfare means constructing blast walls.
The city's government issued its demands in a statement on Wednesday that said Baghdad's infrastructure and aesthetics have been seriously damaged by the American military.
"The U.S. forces changed this beautiful city to a camp in an ugly and destructive way, which reflected deliberate ignorance and carelessness about the simplest forms of public taste," the statement said.
"Due to the huge damage, leading to a loss the Baghdad municipality cannot afford...we demand the American side apologize to Baghdad's people and pay back these expenses."
We oughta tell 'em to go get fucked. War is all about blowing things up, breaking shit, having fun and killing the enemy while keeping our casualties down to an absolute minimum which in urban warfare means constructing blast walls.
Obama to visit The United Kingdom in May
LONDON -- President Barack Obama will make a state visit to Britain in May at the invitation of Queen Elizabeth II, officials said Thursday.
Prime Minister David Cameron's office said it is pleased that Obama has accepted the invitation to visit the U.K. along with first lady Michelle Obama from May 24-26. The trip will come just before a G-8 summit in France, which Obama is expected to attend.
Obama is expected to meet with Cameron while he is in the country, and the prime minister's office said the visit demonstrates the strong and enduring relationship between the two countries.
The White House confirmed the trip, noting it will be the president's first state visit to a European country. Further details on the visit will be made available at a later time, White House spokesman Jay Carney said.
Obama's state visit to the U.K. will be the first by a U.S. president since George W. Bush came in November 2003. Obama was in London for the G-20 summit in 2009, but that was not a state visit.
In keeping with tradition, Obama and his wife will stay at Buckingham Palace. The U.S. president will receive a full ceremonial welcome and a banquet will be held in his honor.
Let's just hope that The Obamessiah and BoobyBelt learned something about etiquette since his last visit - that he brings appropriate gifts this time and BB keeps her fucking hands off the Queen.
Prime Minister David Cameron's office said it is pleased that Obama has accepted the invitation to visit the U.K. along with first lady Michelle Obama from May 24-26. The trip will come just before a G-8 summit in France, which Obama is expected to attend.
Obama is expected to meet with Cameron while he is in the country, and the prime minister's office said the visit demonstrates the strong and enduring relationship between the two countries.
The White House confirmed the trip, noting it will be the president's first state visit to a European country. Further details on the visit will be made available at a later time, White House spokesman Jay Carney said.
Obama's state visit to the U.K. will be the first by a U.S. president since George W. Bush came in November 2003. Obama was in London for the G-20 summit in 2009, but that was not a state visit.
In keeping with tradition, Obama and his wife will stay at Buckingham Palace. The U.S. president will receive a full ceremonial welcome and a banquet will be held in his honor.
Let's just hope that The Obamessiah and BoobyBelt learned something about etiquette since his last visit - that he brings appropriate gifts this time and BB keeps her fucking hands off the Queen.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon......
You just knew I was gonna say that, didn't you?
Fuck islam
Everybody on the left was so excited about the peaceful, orderly protests in Egypt that led to an overthrow of the government.
Tell that shit to Lara Logan, a 60 Minutes correspondent who was separated from her crew during the "peaceful festivities" and then sexually assaulted while covering the celebrations in Egypt that followed Mubarak's resignation.
She's recovering in a hospital from her attack.
Every time I hear about "moderate" muslims and their "peace-loving" religion, I want to fucking puke.
Tell that shit to Lara Logan, a 60 Minutes correspondent who was separated from her crew during the "peaceful festivities" and then sexually assaulted while covering the celebrations in Egypt that followed Mubarak's resignation.
She's recovering in a hospital from her attack.
Every time I hear about "moderate" muslims and their "peace-loving" religion, I want to fucking puke.
Lanes' Predator Control - 'cause that's how we roll, bitches.
CIA: If caught, bin Laden would be sent to Gitmo
WASHINGTON – What would the government do if Osama bin Laden, an FBI most-wanted terrorist for more than a decade, were captured?
Washington is abuzz about questions whether bin Laden would ever see the inside of an American courtroom or where he might be imprisoned if he doesn't stand trial. The discussion, which on Wednesday bounced from Capitol Hill to the White House, is still mostly an academic exercise because there is no suggestion that the government is any closer to finding or capturing bin Laden, believed to be hiding in Pakistan.
For years, President Barack Obama's administration has maintained that criminal courts were more than equipped to handle even the most serious terror cases, but when faced with that question Wednesday during a Senate hearing, CIA Director Leon Panetta said the administration probably would just send bin Laden to the U.S. prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
The perfect poetic justice would be a young Jewish PFC from Manhatten finding him in a cave, kneecapping him with a pair of 5.56s and a shot to the guts, and watching him writhe in pain before reporting his impending death to his redneck platoon sergeant who would liberally rub bacon grease all over him just before beheading him with a dull bayonet.
I'm just sayin'.........
Washington is abuzz about questions whether bin Laden would ever see the inside of an American courtroom or where he might be imprisoned if he doesn't stand trial. The discussion, which on Wednesday bounced from Capitol Hill to the White House, is still mostly an academic exercise because there is no suggestion that the government is any closer to finding or capturing bin Laden, believed to be hiding in Pakistan.
For years, President Barack Obama's administration has maintained that criminal courts were more than equipped to handle even the most serious terror cases, but when faced with that question Wednesday during a Senate hearing, CIA Director Leon Panetta said the administration probably would just send bin Laden to the U.S. prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
The perfect poetic justice would be a young Jewish PFC from Manhatten finding him in a cave, kneecapping him with a pair of 5.56s and a shot to the guts, and watching him writhe in pain before reporting his impending death to his redneck platoon sergeant who would liberally rub bacon grease all over him just before beheading him with a dull bayonet.
I'm just sayin'.........
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Patriot Act extended. Thanks, fuckers.
WASHINGTON -- The Senate voted Tuesday to extend for 90 days the legal life of three post-Sept. 11 terrorism-fighting measures, including the use of roving wiretaps, that are set to expire at the end of the month.
The short-term extension gives lawmakers a chance to review the measures that critics from both the right and left say are unconstitutional infringements on personal liberties.
The Senate voted 86-12 a day after the House of Representatives agreed to extend the three provisions, including two from the 2001 USA Patriot Act, until Dec. 8. The two chambers now must agree on a common approach. With Congress in recess next week, there is pressure to reach a compromise this week.
Woody brought up a great point today. With all the bitching and accusations the Democrats did about Bush enacting this piece of liberty-trampling garbage, what have they done to repeal it in the past 2 years? Not a fucking thing. Not only that but now the motherfuckers are going to broaden it.
The short-term extension gives lawmakers a chance to review the measures that critics from both the right and left say are unconstitutional infringements on personal liberties.
The Senate voted 86-12 a day after the House of Representatives agreed to extend the three provisions, including two from the 2001 USA Patriot Act, until Dec. 8. The two chambers now must agree on a common approach. With Congress in recess next week, there is pressure to reach a compromise this week.
Woody brought up a great point today. With all the bitching and accusations the Democrats did about Bush enacting this piece of liberty-trampling garbage, what have they done to repeal it in the past 2 years? Not a fucking thing. Not only that but now the motherfuckers are going to broaden it.
Monday, February 14, 2011
I shoulda known
CharlieGodammit is just working the fuck out of his new rawhide bone.
All I can think is "Sonofabitch, he's sharpening his teeth......"
So I had some checking done by my vet as to his breed. She did DNA tests as well as measuring molar to molar ratios. According to his tests he is 3/4 American Husky and 1/4 Grey Wolf.
The American Husky differs from the Siberian in size (larger), coloring (usually brown) and the color of eyes (brown vs blue) and the wolf cross is very common with American Huskies as it's not as refined a breed. In other words, my dog's a fucking Okie - American bred with natives.
We're a perfect match.
All I can think is "Sonofabitch, he's sharpening his teeth......"
The American Husky differs from the Siberian in size (larger), coloring (usually brown) and the color of eyes (brown vs blue) and the wolf cross is very common with American Huskies as it's not as refined a breed. In other words, my dog's a fucking Okie - American bred with natives.
We're a perfect match.
That's it. We're fucked.
Two magazines, Country Living (95.99% white readership) and Ebony /Jet (99.99% black readership) did surveys on....
"WHAT DO PEOPLE FEAR MOST?" The results were interesting, to say the least....
Country Living magazine's top three answers were:
1. Nuclear war/terrorist attack in U.S
2. Child/spouse dying
3. Terminal illness
Ebony/Jet magazine's top three answers were:
1. Ghosts
2. Dogs
3. Registered mail (Certified mail)
No Kidding... And these are the people who put Obama over the top; what would you expect?
-Stevienatt
"WHAT DO PEOPLE FEAR MOST?" The results were interesting, to say the least....
Country Living magazine's top three answers were:
1. Nuclear war/terrorist attack in U.S
2. Child/spouse dying
3. Terminal illness
Ebony/Jet magazine's top three answers were:
1. Ghosts
2. Dogs
3. Registered mail (Certified mail)
No Kidding... And these are the people who put Obama over the top; what would you expect?
-Stevienatt
halal slaughtered meat - another example of creeping sharia law
A reader sent me some youtube videos of halal slaughtering of meat the other day and asked that I post them.
For those of you that don't know, halal slaughtering is ritual killing of the animal where the slaughterer prays as he kills the animal. It's an absolutely barbaric practice - the animals aren't stunned or killed cleanly because the animal "can't hear the prayers to allah" if it's stunned first.
I won't post the videos, they're sickening and I regret watching them but at the same time I'm thankful to the reader for making me fully aware of the process. The slaughtering is done with a knife, the throats of the animals are cut and allowed to bleed out, taking up to 30 seconds to die.
As a hunter that was raised and taught to always strive for a clean and instant kill, I was offended beyond words when I saw not only the way the animals were killed but how they were treated before their death.
The thing is, with the muslim population growing in the US and Canada, you may be eating halal meat without knowing it, especially if you eat mutton or goat. I am not advocating that you not eat meat (I eat meat every day - pig, beef or goat, can't stand sheep) but I think it may be worth considering asking your local market if they buy ANY meat from halal slaughterhouses. If they do, inform them that you'll do your shopping elsewhere and tell them why.
If you wish to see what I'm talking about, Bare Naked Islam at http://barenakedislam.wordpress.com/ has one of the videos I watched posted among several others. Be advised it is very graphic.
Okay, I'm not used to being sensitive and I think I need a tissue.
And I think this is my first ever post without a profanity. How fucked up is that?
For those of you that don't know, halal slaughtering is ritual killing of the animal where the slaughterer prays as he kills the animal. It's an absolutely barbaric practice - the animals aren't stunned or killed cleanly because the animal "can't hear the prayers to allah" if it's stunned first.
I won't post the videos, they're sickening and I regret watching them but at the same time I'm thankful to the reader for making me fully aware of the process. The slaughtering is done with a knife, the throats of the animals are cut and allowed to bleed out, taking up to 30 seconds to die.
As a hunter that was raised and taught to always strive for a clean and instant kill, I was offended beyond words when I saw not only the way the animals were killed but how they were treated before their death.
The thing is, with the muslim population growing in the US and Canada, you may be eating halal meat without knowing it, especially if you eat mutton or goat. I am not advocating that you not eat meat (I eat meat every day - pig, beef or goat, can't stand sheep) but I think it may be worth considering asking your local market if they buy ANY meat from halal slaughterhouses. If they do, inform them that you'll do your shopping elsewhere and tell them why.
If you wish to see what I'm talking about, Bare Naked Islam at http://barenakedislam.wordpress.com/ has one of the videos I watched posted among several others. Be advised it is very graphic.
Okay, I'm not used to being sensitive and I think I need a tissue.
And I think this is my first ever post without a profanity. How fucked up is that?
Blogroll additions
A couple of weeks ago Woody was bitching and sniveling that my blogroll was getting so damned big he couldn't find shit on it anymore.
And I gotta admit, it's starting to get huge. So today, in the spirit of things, I added a couple more righteous blogs for your veiwing pleasure - Green Mountains Homesteading at http://greenmnts.blogspot.com/ and Zilla of the Resistance at http://zillablog.marezilla.com/ both of which are some serious reading for y'all. Check 'em out please.
Fuck you, Woody.
And I gotta admit, it's starting to get huge. So today, in the spirit of things, I added a couple more righteous blogs for your veiwing pleasure - Green Mountains Homesteading at http://greenmnts.blogspot.com/ and Zilla of the Resistance at http://zillablog.marezilla.com/ both of which are some serious reading for y'all. Check 'em out please.
Fuck you, Woody.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Housecleaning tips
I was going to do a coyote post today but I did a little housecleaning today and got to thinking that there's probably a lot of motherfuckers out there, male and unfortunately also females, that don't have my level of expertise in the matter so I thought I'd pass along a few tips.
Me being a guy, this is written for men but ladies, some of it may apply to you too, so feel free to read along.
To begin with, there are 2 levels of clean and we're going to tackle them one at a time. The 1st level we're going to talk about is Girl Clean, and then there's Guy Clean.
GIRL CLEAN:
Girl clean is probably the easiest for us men to achieve. The way you accomplish that is to hire a maid service for a one-time thorough cleaning, lock up your valuables and whiskey, pack your bags and get the fuck out of Dodge for a while.
Sure, it'll cost you some bucks but that's the only way it will ever get done.
Now, moving on:
GUY CLEAN:
Guy clean is going to cost you a little time and money but it's fairly simple once you get a pattern and rhythm down. But boys, you gotta stay on top of it or you're gonna end up having to do a Girl Clean and that will cost you some money.
The easiest way to maintain Guy Clean is to do at least 30 minutes worth of housework (not including dishes) every fucking day, I don't give a shit how tired you are when you walk in from a 12 hour shift. To keep from fucking up and working any harder than you have to, I would suggest making out a schedule until you get a rhythm down - Mondays is when you vacuum and dust, Tuesdays is when you give the bathroom a good cleaning, Wednesdays is kitchen day, etc.
Yes, there are certain things that require daily attention and I'm not saying you only clean the kitchen on Wednesdays - wipe down the stove and do the dishes when needed, but on Wednesday you mop, wipe down the outside of the icebox, shit like that, you get what I'm saying?
Certain jobs require more than a half hours' worth of work but you gotta do what you gotta do. After a while you'll notice that it doesn't take you as long to do a chore as it did when you first started because it pretty much stays clean now, so you can devote your 30 minutes to something else like cleaning the inside of the icebox out or cleaning the inside of the miccawave.
And that's the whole secret to Guy Clean - do a little everyday. Turn on the stereo, drink beer while you do it but just keep to your schedule. You do that, you won't have to spend your weekends cleaning house, leaving you more time to hunt and fish.
Cleaning Tips and Shortcuts:
There's 2 things everybody notices the first time they walk into a strange house - the floor and the smell. Your house can be freshly Girl Cleaned but if there's a pile of dog shit in the middle of the floor, it's the first thing everybody sees. Keep the carpet vacuumed and the wood/tile floors swept and mopped. Before you vacuum, sprinkle some baking soda around first and when you mop, add some Pine-Sol to your mop water. I also do a couple of other things for odors. Once a week, I dump some baking soda and vinegar down my kitchen sink drain to eliminate the smell of fish guts and other assorted viscera that may have gotten trapped down there. I'll also take some dried sagebrush and put it in a smudgepot and smoke my house for that nice smell. If you live in a fire prone area like Southern California, you can pass on that - nature will do it for you. Besides, it might make you a little jumpy. And finally, I'll take some little pieces of rag, soak them in Hoppes #9 Gun Solvent, put it on some foil to avoid stripping the paint on whatever you lay it on and leave it in hidden spots throughout the house to make it smell like a real home.
Now comes the age-old question that everybody has a different answer for: Do you dust first or vacuum first? If you dust first, it knocks all that shit to the floor where the vacuum can pick it up. If you vacuum first, it stirs the dust in the carpet up so you can clean it when you dust. My answer? Fuck it, you aren't going to do it right no matter what you do first. Do whatever you feel like.
The main thing to keep in mind when dusting is that the less shit you have to move or dust around, the easier it is. Seriously, if you've got a million knick knacks everywhere, it can easily turn into an hour long job.
There about a million products out there for housecleaning, most of them useless in my opinion. I can only think of a few items you absolutely need to clean your house Guy Clean and they are: a broom, a sponge mop, some wood soap (I like Murphys), Pine-Sol, Pledge, Hydrogen Peroxide, scouring pads, and a vacuum cleaner.
No shit, you don't need static cling dust rags (I use old T shirts), Swiffers, or 97 different kinds of detergents. Spend all the money your gonna save to buy ammo with.
You notice I didn't mention bleach? Fuck no. Bleach is chlorine and the fumes gag me. I use peroxide anyplace I would use bleach, including my laundry. Fill a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water and keep it in the bathroom to disinfect without harming your septic system like bleach will. I also use it in the kitchen to disinfect my cabinets, cutting board and meat cutting knives. Not only is it healthier but it's also cheaper than bleach.
If you do buy other cleaning products, be advised that some of them can be toxic if mixed, bleach and ammonia coming to mind. If there's any question about combining something, go to a well ventilated area and mix them together, then hold a cats' head directly over it. Be sure to wear welding gloves while doing this for obvious reasons. If it doesn't gas the cat, you're probably safe too.
If you have a gas stove like me, you'll see that there's a grease drip pan under the burners. This can be a pure bitch to clean because it tends to bake on. You can either soak it in hot soapy water and scrub it til your fingers bleed or you can do what your ol' buddy Wirecutter does: Take it outside, sandbast the shit out of the motherfucker, then give it a couple of coats of heat resistant black paint. No sandblaster? Go buy one - you'll find other uses for it eventually.
One last piece of advice. Keep your mud porch clean. Keep your floor mopped around the garbage can, wash the dogs' bedding regularly and make sure you either feed the dog outside or that he leaves no food in his dish. All this will keep the flies down.
Okay, hope this makes life a little easier on you.
Fuck Obama
Me being a guy, this is written for men but ladies, some of it may apply to you too, so feel free to read along.
To begin with, there are 2 levels of clean and we're going to tackle them one at a time. The 1st level we're going to talk about is Girl Clean, and then there's Guy Clean.
GIRL CLEAN:
Girl clean is probably the easiest for us men to achieve. The way you accomplish that is to hire a maid service for a one-time thorough cleaning, lock up your valuables and whiskey, pack your bags and get the fuck out of Dodge for a while.
Sure, it'll cost you some bucks but that's the only way it will ever get done.
Now, moving on:
GUY CLEAN:
Guy clean is going to cost you a little time and money but it's fairly simple once you get a pattern and rhythm down. But boys, you gotta stay on top of it or you're gonna end up having to do a Girl Clean and that will cost you some money.
The easiest way to maintain Guy Clean is to do at least 30 minutes worth of housework (not including dishes) every fucking day, I don't give a shit how tired you are when you walk in from a 12 hour shift. To keep from fucking up and working any harder than you have to, I would suggest making out a schedule until you get a rhythm down - Mondays is when you vacuum and dust, Tuesdays is when you give the bathroom a good cleaning, Wednesdays is kitchen day, etc.
Yes, there are certain things that require daily attention and I'm not saying you only clean the kitchen on Wednesdays - wipe down the stove and do the dishes when needed, but on Wednesday you mop, wipe down the outside of the icebox, shit like that, you get what I'm saying?
Certain jobs require more than a half hours' worth of work but you gotta do what you gotta do. After a while you'll notice that it doesn't take you as long to do a chore as it did when you first started because it pretty much stays clean now, so you can devote your 30 minutes to something else like cleaning the inside of the icebox out or cleaning the inside of the miccawave.
And that's the whole secret to Guy Clean - do a little everyday. Turn on the stereo, drink beer while you do it but just keep to your schedule. You do that, you won't have to spend your weekends cleaning house, leaving you more time to hunt and fish.
Cleaning Tips and Shortcuts:
There's 2 things everybody notices the first time they walk into a strange house - the floor and the smell. Your house can be freshly Girl Cleaned but if there's a pile of dog shit in the middle of the floor, it's the first thing everybody sees. Keep the carpet vacuumed and the wood/tile floors swept and mopped. Before you vacuum, sprinkle some baking soda around first and when you mop, add some Pine-Sol to your mop water. I also do a couple of other things for odors. Once a week, I dump some baking soda and vinegar down my kitchen sink drain to eliminate the smell of fish guts and other assorted viscera that may have gotten trapped down there. I'll also take some dried sagebrush and put it in a smudgepot and smoke my house for that nice smell. If you live in a fire prone area like Southern California, you can pass on that - nature will do it for you. Besides, it might make you a little jumpy. And finally, I'll take some little pieces of rag, soak them in Hoppes #9 Gun Solvent, put it on some foil to avoid stripping the paint on whatever you lay it on and leave it in hidden spots throughout the house to make it smell like a real home.
Now comes the age-old question that everybody has a different answer for: Do you dust first or vacuum first? If you dust first, it knocks all that shit to the floor where the vacuum can pick it up. If you vacuum first, it stirs the dust in the carpet up so you can clean it when you dust. My answer? Fuck it, you aren't going to do it right no matter what you do first. Do whatever you feel like.
The main thing to keep in mind when dusting is that the less shit you have to move or dust around, the easier it is. Seriously, if you've got a million knick knacks everywhere, it can easily turn into an hour long job.
There about a million products out there for housecleaning, most of them useless in my opinion. I can only think of a few items you absolutely need to clean your house Guy Clean and they are: a broom, a sponge mop, some wood soap (I like Murphys), Pine-Sol, Pledge, Hydrogen Peroxide, scouring pads, and a vacuum cleaner.
No shit, you don't need static cling dust rags (I use old T shirts), Swiffers, or 97 different kinds of detergents. Spend all the money your gonna save to buy ammo with.
You notice I didn't mention bleach? Fuck no. Bleach is chlorine and the fumes gag me. I use peroxide anyplace I would use bleach, including my laundry. Fill a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water and keep it in the bathroom to disinfect without harming your septic system like bleach will. I also use it in the kitchen to disinfect my cabinets, cutting board and meat cutting knives. Not only is it healthier but it's also cheaper than bleach.
If you do buy other cleaning products, be advised that some of them can be toxic if mixed, bleach and ammonia coming to mind. If there's any question about combining something, go to a well ventilated area and mix them together, then hold a cats' head directly over it. Be sure to wear welding gloves while doing this for obvious reasons. If it doesn't gas the cat, you're probably safe too.
If you have a gas stove like me, you'll see that there's a grease drip pan under the burners. This can be a pure bitch to clean because it tends to bake on. You can either soak it in hot soapy water and scrub it til your fingers bleed or you can do what your ol' buddy Wirecutter does: Take it outside, sandbast the shit out of the motherfucker, then give it a couple of coats of heat resistant black paint. No sandblaster? Go buy one - you'll find other uses for it eventually.
One last piece of advice. Keep your mud porch clean. Keep your floor mopped around the garbage can, wash the dogs' bedding regularly and make sure you either feed the dog outside or that he leaves no food in his dish. All this will keep the flies down.
Okay, hope this makes life a little easier on you.
Fuck Obama
Saturday, February 12, 2011
No more sleepovers for Janet
They're trying to fuck us again, folks.
Another vote on the mis-named Patriot Act could come as early as tomorrow.
House Leadership held an emergency meeting of the powerful Rules Committee to pass a special rule concerning the Patriot Act.
The rule would allow the mis-named Patriot Act to be brought up on again as early as tomorrow, without any amendment, limit debate to only one hour and require only a simple majority to pass.
This comes on the same day the Homeland Security Czar Janet Napolitano said that the threat of terrorism is at "its most heightened state" since the 9/11 attacks due to increased concerns over “domestic” terrorists.
I think she's talking about us, folks.
Reauthorization of the mis-named Patriot Act gives government jackboots more and more tools in their war on gun owners and gun rights activists, who Obamacrats smear as “Radical Extremists” and even “Domestic Terrorists.”
Some of the very worst provisions of the Patriot Act include:
•Roving, warrantless wiretaps of virtually EVERY form of electronic communication used by U.S. citizens.
•Secret federal searches without warrants OR knowledge of the resident.
•Blanket warrants for the search and seizure of all library records, without naming individual suspects or providing probable cause.
•Judicial warrants replaced with “National Security Letters” signed by unaccountable Obama Administration bureaucrats and gag orders for those served with these letters which make it illegal to tell anyone about it -- including your spouse and your priest!
•Drastic expansion of the definition of “domestic terrorism,” which is sure to include gun owners.
•Expands asset seizure to permit the taking of assets from anyone “suspected” of terrorism, even if that person is NEVER charged or sent to trial.
•Lone wolf provisions which allow the government to spy on ANYONE even if they’re not associated with a terrorist organization or foreign national, without due process or notification.
Please call the Congressional Switchboard at 202-224-3121 and demand that they oppose this blatant attempt to ram the Patriot Act through Congress.
From Gun Owners of America
House Leadership held an emergency meeting of the powerful Rules Committee to pass a special rule concerning the Patriot Act.
The rule would allow the mis-named Patriot Act to be brought up on again as early as tomorrow, without any amendment, limit debate to only one hour and require only a simple majority to pass.
This comes on the same day the Homeland Security Czar Janet Napolitano said that the threat of terrorism is at "its most heightened state" since the 9/11 attacks due to increased concerns over “domestic” terrorists.
I think she's talking about us, folks.
Reauthorization of the mis-named Patriot Act gives government jackboots more and more tools in their war on gun owners and gun rights activists, who Obamacrats smear as “Radical Extremists” and even “Domestic Terrorists.”
Some of the very worst provisions of the Patriot Act include:
•Roving, warrantless wiretaps of virtually EVERY form of electronic communication used by U.S. citizens.
•Secret federal searches without warrants OR knowledge of the resident.
•Blanket warrants for the search and seizure of all library records, without naming individual suspects or providing probable cause.
•Judicial warrants replaced with “National Security Letters” signed by unaccountable Obama Administration bureaucrats and gag orders for those served with these letters which make it illegal to tell anyone about it -- including your spouse and your priest!
•Drastic expansion of the definition of “domestic terrorism,” which is sure to include gun owners.
•Expands asset seizure to permit the taking of assets from anyone “suspected” of terrorism, even if that person is NEVER charged or sent to trial.
•Lone wolf provisions which allow the government to spy on ANYONE even if they’re not associated with a terrorist organization or foreign national, without due process or notification.
Please call the Congressional Switchboard at 202-224-3121 and demand that they oppose this blatant attempt to ram the Patriot Act through Congress.
From Gun Owners of America
My dog loves me more than I do him
And how do I know that?
Well, I've never gone up to him when he was taking a dump and laid my head in his lap. Matter of fact, I never even thought about it.
It is kinda funny to watch him stagger away with his eyes watering when he does it to me, though.
Well, I've never gone up to him when he was taking a dump and laid my head in his lap. Matter of fact, I never even thought about it.
It is kinda funny to watch him stagger away with his eyes watering when he does it to me, though.
Yup, things are looking up, Obama.
Modesto-based Save Mart Supermarkets announced Friday that it was cutting 103 jobs from its distribution centers in Merced, Roseville and Vacaville, as well as in its labor relations department.
The company's news release didn't include the specific number of layoffs at the Merced center, which employs about 230 people.
Most affected employees will be offered a severance package, including outplacement services, said President and Chief Operating Officer Steve Junqueiro.
And this is in a region that already has 25% unemployment when you take into account those whose benefits have run out and they're no longer on the employment rolls.
So, Wingnut, when are you going to "create" a job for these folks with a wave of your magic wand?
The company's news release didn't include the specific number of layoffs at the Merced center, which employs about 230 people.
Most affected employees will be offered a severance package, including outplacement services, said President and Chief Operating Officer Steve Junqueiro.
And this is in a region that already has 25% unemployment when you take into account those whose benefits have run out and they're no longer on the employment rolls.
So, Wingnut, when are you going to "create" a job for these folks with a wave of your magic wand?
Friday, February 11, 2011
Women everywhere are rejoicing
From the English version of Pravda:
Forget fruit juice - chocolate could be an even better way to boost your health, new research shows.
Dark chocolate and cocoa have more anti-oxidant capacity than fruit juice, according to a study released Sunday in the Chemistry Central Journal.
Chocolate products also have more heart-healthy flavanols and polyphenol, the study found. The good news doesn't apply to hot cocoa mix, which is processed, New York Daily News reports.
Researchers from the Hershey Centre for Health & Nutrition compared single servings of dark chocolate, cocoa, and hot chocolate mix with fruit juices including acai berries, cranberries and pomegranates, according to a Hershey statement.
The research showed that both dark chocolate and cocoa had more antioxidant activity and more flavonols than fruit. Debra Millar, who led the study, said chocolate should be labelled a "superfruit", according to Times of India.
http://english.pravda.ru/news/science/07-02-2011/116810-chocolate-0/
Forget fruit juice - chocolate could be an even better way to boost your health, new research shows.
Dark chocolate and cocoa have more anti-oxidant capacity than fruit juice, according to a study released Sunday in the Chemistry Central Journal.
Chocolate products also have more heart-healthy flavanols and polyphenol, the study found. The good news doesn't apply to hot cocoa mix, which is processed, New York Daily News reports.
Researchers from the Hershey Centre for Health & Nutrition compared single servings of dark chocolate, cocoa, and hot chocolate mix with fruit juices including acai berries, cranberries and pomegranates, according to a Hershey statement.
The research showed that both dark chocolate and cocoa had more antioxidant activity and more flavonols than fruit. Debra Millar, who led the study, said chocolate should be labelled a "superfruit", according to Times of India.
http://english.pravda.ru/news/science/07-02-2011/116810-chocolate-0/
Chicken nuggets? Yum!
Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.
There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.
But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?
High five, America!
You can thank Yolo for this gem.
I'm glad I'm too godammed poor to eat that shit.
Yeah, you can tell who he belongs to....
I got up this morning hungier than a motherfucker even after eating a half a pig last night so I made some biscuits and sausage gravy. After eating my fill there was some gravy left over so I threw it in CharlieGodammits' bowl.
He didn't even look at it until I tossed a biscuit in with it, the Okie motherfucker.
He didn't even look at it until I tossed a biscuit in with it, the Okie motherfucker.
Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....
Of course there may be a problem with all the neighborhood dogs gathered outside their houses, howling.
I've gone tits up. Finally. Praise the Lord.
I'm thinking it's a pitiful state of affairs when all I can think of is titties, how much I hate Obama and where in the fuck is my Dangerous Extremist shirt is so I can beat off without feeling real guilty. And oh yeah, I need a used oil filter, turpentine and vaseline.
No shit, Sir.
A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50%-50%.
A lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in chrge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?
His reply?
"It's 100% pleasure, Sir. If there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
The room fell silent.
A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50%-50%.
A lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in chrge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?
His reply?
"It's 100% pleasure, Sir. If there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
The room fell silent.
fgbswk mercj. Woo-Hoo! Party on!
I quit drinking a few weeks ago until this weekend. I don't know what I did that brought it on but when I got off work tonight I stopped by the store and bought a couple of pounds of bacon, a party pack of sausage (fuck Mohammed) and an 18 pack of beer.
I'll be puking in the backyard before it's all said and done.
Fuck Obama.
I'll be puking in the backyard before it's all said and done.
Fuck Obama.
Friends. Right.
FUCK THIS!!!!!
I went ahead and posted a real nice introduction and welcome for my ex the other day and what happened?
All of a sudden, y'all turned on me and packed up with her, everybody except Yolo, that is.
But between Deb (who is vicious anyways) and Bella (who I'm afraid of) and !what the fuck! Tattoo Jim of all people (fucking traitor) I'm afraid to post Okie shit, titties and anything about future ex or second or whatever wives.
Yolo, I love you. Why won't you marry me and live where it's warm and weed is semi legal?
I went ahead and posted a real nice introduction and welcome for my ex the other day and what happened?
All of a sudden, y'all turned on me and packed up with her, everybody except Yolo, that is.
But between Deb (who is vicious anyways) and Bella (who I'm afraid of) and !what the fuck! Tattoo Jim of all people (fucking traitor) I'm afraid to post Okie shit, titties and anything about future ex or second or whatever wives.
Yolo, I love you. Why won't you marry me and live where it's warm and weed is semi legal?
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