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Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Americas' future masters

I know, Democracy is a pain in the ass, huh asshole?

(RCP) — ”It’s been a long, tough journey. But we have made some incredible strides together. Yes, we have. But the thing that we all ought to remember is that as much as good as we have done, precisely because the challenges were so daunting, precisely because we we were inheriting so many challenges, that we’re not even halfway there yet. When I said ‘change we can believe in’ I didn’t say ‘change we could believe in tomorrow.’ Not change we can believe in next week. We knew this was going to take time because we’ve got this big, messy, tough democracy,” President Obama said at a campaign fundraiser in Chicago on Wednesday night.

First Hamas, now La Raza

Obama Courts Radical La Raza Group
by Tom Fitton     

 

A few weeks ago I told you that the Obama administration has nearly tripled the amount of taxpayer funds given to the radical Mexican separatist group the National Council of La Raza (NCLR). Not coincidentally, this increased generosity commenced after Obama tapped one of NCLR’s former top officials (Cecilia Munoz) to serve as his Director of Intergovernmental Affairs.
Well, following on that story, President Obama delivered a high-profile speech to NCLR last week, letting the radicals know he plans on giving more to them than just cash. Now, to be fair, this organization has for a long time had friends in high places in both political parties and enough pull to secure speeches from such political heavyweights as Governor Rick Perry (R-TX).
The Chicago Sun-Times has the full transcript of Obama’s speech. However, I thought I would share with you a few of the key excerpts and headlines:
  1. Obama noted the influence of the NCLR within his administration.It is good to be back with NCLR. It is good to see all of you. Right off the bat, I should thank you because I have poached quite a few of your alumni to work in my administration.
  2. Obama promised to complete his mission to pass the Dream Act, another of his “stealth amnesty” initiatives that would provide permanent residency to illegal alien high school graduates as long as they go to college or join the military:I promised you I would work tirelessly to fix our broken immigration system and make the DREAM Act a reality. And two months ago…I went down to the border of El Paso to reiterate…my vision for an immigration system that holds true to our values and our heritage, and meets our economic and security needs. And I argued this wasn’t just the moral thing to do, it was an economic imperative.
  3. Obama stated that he is very tempted to “bypass Congress and change the laws on [his] own”:Now, I swore an oath to uphold the laws on the books, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know very well the real pain and heartbreak that deportations cause. I share your concerns and I understand them. And I promise you, we are responding to your concerns and working every day to make sure we are enforcing flawed laws in the most humane and best possible way. Now, I know some people want me to bypass Congress and change the laws on my own. And believe me, right now dealing with Congress…[The audience began to chant: “Yes, you can! Yes, you can! Yes, you can! Yes, you can! Yes, you can!”]Believe me, believe me, the idea of doing things on my own is very tempting.
    [Actually, Obama is being modest here. As I’ve pointed out previously, Obama has already bypassed Congress and enacted stealth amnesty by shutting down deportation proceedings against illegal aliens, including violent criminals. Read more here.]
  4. Obama made a campaign appeal for himself and for Democrats:But here’s the only thing you should know. The Democrats and your President are with you. Don’t get confused about that. Remember who it is that we need to move in order to actually change the laws. [This is a smart political ploy says political strategist Douglas Schoen in an opinion column published on FoxNews.com.]
Obama closed, as politicians often do in speeches of this nature, by recounting the contributions of immigrants to our country: “This country has always been made stronger by our immigrants. That [sic] what makes America special. We attract talented, dynamic, optimistic people who are continually refreshing our economy and our spirit.”
No one would dispute the wonderful contributions of immigrants who come here legally for a better life. But here’s the thing. Obama is talking to the wrong group. The National Council of La Raza (The Race) is not a collection of “dynamic, optimistic people” who have an interest in “refreshing” the American spirit!
As I mentioned a few weeks ago, but it bears repeating, the NCLR is a radical racialist group — too many members have absolutely no respect for the United States, most especially not for our immigration laws! (This was evident when the NCLR crowd urged Obama to violate the Constitution during his speech and unilaterally grant amnesty.)
Moreover, this is the same organization that supports “radical Chicano” groups that seek to conquer the American Southwest by force or by ballot box and return it to Mexico. (Here’s our special report that makes this point.)
Do these seem like the type of immigrants who want to seek the American dream?
No matter the reason why Obama is pushing his illegal immigration strategy – whether it’s a deep-seated belief or a ploy to attract the Hispanic vote – his polices are downright dangerous and flagrantly unconstitutional. Judicial Watch will continue to oppose them at every turn.
- Big Government

How about "What is treason?"

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Miss Sarah speaks

“Well the president’s speech in Arizona as he asked folks to start ratcheting down the rhetoric was all talk. He wasn’t sincere in that. And, that’s typical Barack Obama. Unfortunately that’s typical of our president where its Blah-Blah-Blah. It’s all talk and no real action. In other words otherwise he’d be on Biden and tell Biden to tone it down a little bit… Heck Sean, if we were real domestic terrorists, shoot, President Obama would be wanting to pal around with us. Wouldn’t he? He didn’t have a problem palling around with Bill Ayers back in the days when he kicked off his political career… No if we were real terrorists President Obama wouldn’t have a problem with us.”

My future second ex-wife

A weiner dog (snicker, snicker)

Monday, August 01, 2011

Michelle Obama opens new fashion line

Fuck the Feds

(FOX News) — The Justice Department has filed a lawsuit against Alabama’s new controversial immigration law, essentially fighting Alabama on grounds similar to its legal battle with Arizona over that state’s controversial law.
In both cases, the Justice Department argues that the states are overstepping their authority by wading into something that is a strictly federal responsibility: immigration enforcement.
Gov. Robert Bentley signed the Alabama law in June, but it’s not set to take effect until Sept. 1. The law makes it a crime to be an undocumented immigrant in Alabama and allows law enforcement to detain individuals they have a “reasonable suspicion” of being in the country illegally. The law also makes it illegal to give undocumented immigrants rides and requires school districts to check on the immigration status of students who enroll.
The law is modeled on Arizona’s immigration law, parts of which have been blocked by federal court. It’s said to be the strictest state-level immigration law in the country.
The law has already faced lawsuits from civil rights groups and others, and Alabama religious leaders announced Monday their own lawsuit against the law, saying, “the bishops have reason to fear that administering of religious sacraments, which are central to the Christian faith, to known undocumented persons may be criminalized under this law.”

The Camels' nose is officially in the tent

The Camel's Nose is a metaphor for a situation where permitting some small undesirable situation will allow gradual and unavoidable worsening.
One cold night, as an Arab sat in his tent, a camel gently thrust his nose under the flap and looked in. "Master," he said, "let me put my nose in your tent. It's cold and stormy out here." "By all means," said the Arab, "and welcome" as he turned over and went to sleep.
A little later the Arab awoke to find that the camel had not only put his nose in the tent but his head and neck also.
The camel, who had been turning his head from side to side, said, "I will take but little more room if I place my forelegs within the tent. It is difficult standing out here."
"Yes, you may put your forelegs within," said the Arab, moving a little to make room, for the tent was small.
Finally, the camel said, "May I not stand wholly inside? I keep the tent open by standing as I do."
"Yes, yes," said the Arab. "Come wholly inside. Perhaps it will be better for both of us."
So the camel crowded in. The Arab with difficulty in the crowded quarters again went to sleep.
When he woke up the next time, he was outside in the cold and the camel had the tent to himself.

BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THIS:
Muslim men are allowed to have as many as 4 wives. Many Muslims have immigrated into the U.S. And have brought with them their 2, 3 or 4 wives. But the U.S. Does not allow multi-marriages (bigamy) so the man lists one wife as his, and signs the other 2 or 3 up as extended family on welfare and other free Government programs!

Michigan has the highest population of Muslims in the Unites States.

When President Obama took office the United States paid several millions of dollars to have a large number of Palestinians (all Muslim) immigrated here from Palestine. Why? I have no idea, do you! We don't pay for other persons to immigrate here, and I'm sure that some of those Muslims moved into Michigan with the large current number of Muslims already established there.

PRESS 3 FOR ARABIC:
So now in Michigan when you call the Public Assistance office you are told to "Press 1 for English. Press 2 for Spanish, or Press 3 for Arabic"!
Every time you add a new language to an American program it requires an additional number of persons fluent in that language to process those persons who refuse to learn English in order to live here at an additional cost to the taxpayer! Why are we even allowing persons to immigrate here who cannot provide for themselves, and putting them in our welfare system?
This seems to have happened clandestinely; as far as I know, no public announcement, or opportunity to vote on this was offered to the American people. They're just adopting an official stance, and very likely using tax-payer money for it, in various capacities, without public knowledge or approval.
The following link takes you into the State of Michigan Public Assistance page, (as in Food Stamps etc). You won't have to scroll far before you see the assistance-letters options for . . . (get this) . . .
. . . English, Spanish, and ARABIC !!!
When did the ARABIC option sneak into our culture? Will we soon have to listen to ou r governmental offices, stores, and other venues offer us the option of "pressing 3 for ARABIC?"

Check it out for yourself:
http://www.michigan.gov/dhs/0,1607,7-124-5453_5527---,00.html

- Stormbringer

That explains a lot

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
- Orbitup

Oh, Happy day!

The situation is a little better at the pump

- Rob

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Jesus Lives (at the Wal-mart)!!!!

A South Carolina couple is claiming that a receipt obtained from a local Walmart store depicts an image of Jesus, Fox31.com reports.
Gentry Lee Sutherland and her fiancée, Jacob Simmons, said they picked up some pictures at the store on June 12 and left the receipt on Sutherland's kitchen table. They couple said they returned a few days later to see an image that appeared to be Jesus' face colored on the receipt, according to the station.
"We just feel like it's a blessing that God showed it to us and opened our eyes. And we just feel like we should share the blessing God gave to us to everybody else," Sutherland told WYFF-TV.
Someone at the store reportedly told the couple that the heat likely caused the receipt to appear discolored.
Sutherland and Simmons say they did not intentionally alter the receipt.

Oh dear God




































- Dead Dog

Huh?

Cops have busted a group of oddball poachers in Prospect Park — a band of vagrants that was trapping and eating ducks, squirrels and pigeons.
Parks officers wrote four tickets — two for killing wildlife and two for illegal fishing — totaling $2,100 in fines during a two-day period last week.
The city would not immediately release details of the incidents, which occurred on July 17 and 18 — just days after park-goers told rangers about a “Beverly Hillbillies”-like scene on the southeast side of the lake, near the ice skating rink.
“This is a dodgy group,” said park-goer Peter Colon, who spotted one of the men catching a pigeon while his friend started a fire. “They are the most threatening people in the park.”
The disheveled — and possibly homeless — tribe in question uses “makeshift” fishing poles and traps to catch the critters, then grills them over the fire, according to park watchdogs.
“One woman uses a net to bag the ducks,” said wildlife advocate Johanna Clearfield.
- Keep It Simple Survival

*****

When I first read this article, my mind immediately went about 37 different directions at once. A half hour later and I'm still chasing it down.
I still can't come up with a decent post about it so I'm just gonna wing it.

Hey, I'm against poaching as much as the next sportsman but there's a big difference in poaching because you can't get your animal any other way and poaching in order to feed you and your family.
But then again, maybe they're just poaching/harvesting so they can save their gubmint checks for dope instead of wasting it on food. Homeless folks are crafty that way, you know.
And as far as fining them 2 large, who in the fuck are they kidding? These folks can't even afford to house or feed themselves and now they're gonna owe the county 2000 bucks? Shit, they can't even afford their drug habits. They're going to end up making 3-4 court appearances until the judge gets tired of them and then sentences them to jail to sleep off their fines, courtesy of the tax payers.
And what the hell is this 'One woman uses a net to bag the ducks' shit all about? How in the fuck was she supposed to catch them? You ever try to catch a duck without a net? You're gonna end up soaking wet and wore out, not to mention duck-bit which means the duck is going to be all fucked up from being duck-kicked - they may have little teeth but it still pisses you off. So yeah, a net is kinda sorta important for duck poaching. I mean, there are alternatives, but if that wildlife advocate got upset over a duck being netted, she'd probably go catatonic if she heard about one getting nailed with a 9 iron.
And then there's this - 'The disheveled — and possibly homeless — tribe in question uses “makeshift” fishing poles and traps to catch the critters, then grills them over the fire'. Holy shit, not makeshift fishing poles!!!!! But if they didn't spend all their money on dope they could afford a nice Pflueger rod & reel baitcaster combo from Bass Pro. But wait! There's more: They have the balls to actually cook their food over a fire? A real fire? With flames and shit? They should've been shot for that maneuver, especially since they probably didn't even have a fire permit.

Yeah, so maybe what they oughta do is drop the charges to save the taxpayers some bucks and run those dodgy poachers back off to the middle of town where they can harass working people on the sidewalk instead of netting ducks and catching fish with makeshift gear. There's an upside for them, too - they won't have to travel as far to break into homes and cars to support their drug habits.

Just sayin'


Seems like there's an app for everything nowadays

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Amy Winehouse finally hits the big screen

'nuff said

Now if he'd just fetch the mail without killing it first

CharlieGodammits' latest grin is attacking the mail slot next to the front door at random times throughout the day and evening. I mean it, that silly fucker can be dead-ass asleep in the middle of the floor or getting his ass scratched and all of a sudden he'll jam the mail slot.
I don't know if it's because he heard something outside and seeing as most of the time when somebody comes up the porch they stick something through the slot, or if he's trying to ambush something or just hoping to get lucky with a random attack.
I gotta admit, he does keep me guessing as to what he's going to come up with next, and no, nothing he does surprises me - not too much - anymore.

She still has to keep it face down

Lisa loves to read trashy romance novels, burns through one or more a day. The first time we went to the library, she checked out 24 books - maybe I should say I checked out 24 trashy romance novels, she checked out 3 books on militias and domestic terrorists just to fuck with the librarian.
When we went back Thursday evening so she could restock, we lugged all those books back in and when folks would do a double take I would explain with a straight face that we made it into town only once a month.

Today I was walking through the living room while she was putting together some lunch and saw this on the coffee table:


Whoa, whoa WHOA!!!! What the fuck is this? OH HELL NO!!!!!
I was almost having a seizure here. I couldn't even begin to understand how her mind was working on this one. Seriously, bring a muslim book in the house? On the property?
But after I flipped it over and read the synopsis on the back I saw there wasn't a fucking thing about islam in there, it was just another one of her beloved trashy romance novels so I gave her my approval to read it after I dickslapped the crescent moon and rubbed bacon grease on it.

Oh, fuck the NAACP.

South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley isn't retreating from her decision to keep the Confederate flag atop the north end of the Statehouse in Columbia despite complaints from the NAACP, whose president this week said the ethnic minority governor is a "contradiction" for allowing the flag to fly.
Speaking to a crowd at an NAACP national conference in Los Angeles on Monday, NAACP President Benjamin Jealous attempted to shame Haley into removing the flag by comparing African American slavery to oppression Haley's ancestors in India faced under British rule.
"Perhaps one of the most perplexing examples of the contradictions of this moment in history is that Nikki Haley, South Carolina's first governor of color, continues to fly the Confederate flag in front of her state's capitol. Given the similarities between our struggles to end slavery and segregation, and her ancestors' struggle to end British colonialism and oppression in India, my question to Governor Haley is one that Dr. King often asked himself: 'What would Gandhi do?'" Jealous said.

The flag has been at the north end of the Statehouse since 2000. It was moved there after legislation passed in response to protests and an NAACP boycott of the state over the flag's position atop the dome of the Statehouse, where it was placed in 1962 by an all-white South Carolina Legislature.
Haley was born in South Carolina, and her spokesman said the decision lies with the people of the Palmetto State.
"More than a decade ago, under the leadership of a Democratic governor, South Carolinians Republican and Democrat, black and white, came to a compromise position on the Confederate flag," said Haley press secretary, Rob Godfrey.
"Many people were uncomfortable with that compromise, but it addressed a sensitive subject in a way that South Carolina as a whole could accept. We don't expect people from outside of the state to understand that dynamic, but revisiting that issue is not part of the governor's agenda," Godfrey said.
The NAACP boycott remains in place as a protest to the decision to keep the flag beside a monument honoring fallen Confederate soldiers. Opponents say the flag should be removed completely from Statehouse grounds because it represents slavery and white supremacy.
The National Collegiate Athletic Association has also refused to hold any tournaments in the state since 2001, as long as the Confederate flag continues to fly there.
But others say the flag is a reminder of an important part of South Carolina's history, not to mention that it doesn't violate any laws.
"There is nothing more sacred in the country than the First Amendment. If someone wants to raise that flag then they have the First Amendment right to do so," said attorney Richard Roth of The Roth Law Firm, PLLC in New York City.
Roth, who has argued several First Amendment cases before the federal courts, noted that South Carolina is the only state with any legal limitation on flying the Confederate flag.
"It may not be good for business and it may not be good for a general character and reputation, but legally you have every right to fly any flag," said Roth.


Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/07/28/naacp-urges-nikki-haley-to-remove-confederate-flag/#ixzz1TbOzMTfc

A tip for the ladies


Theospark

Yeah, he's not impressed.

When I first saw this picture I'd have sworn that was our very own CharlieGodammit. He's almost a dead ringer except for CGD's a little bigger and he has more distinct facial markings and an ear that won't stand up.
That is his natural position, though.

Friday, July 29, 2011

I'd have done it for free, man.

LAGUNA WOODS, Calif. (AP) — On the shady paths of this sprawling Southern California retirement community, neighbors have been told to carry sticks.
The menace is a group of emboldened coyotes who have attacked leashed pets, killing two dogs in the last week and dragging down pet owners who rushed to their rescue.
On Thursday, the city of Laguna Woods voted to take matters into its own hands by authorizing professional exterminators or animal control experts who obtain permits to shoot the wild animals. Officials promptly issued a permit to one such firm, which is required to notify law enforcement within 10 minutes if any shots are fired, said Orange County Sheriff's Lt. Steve Doan.
The city — a network of gated retirement communities shrouded in trees — already has tried other tactics to round up the pack of roughly seven animals who, unlike most coyotes, don't scatter at the sight of humans.
Officials used pepper spray to disrupt trails and dens. Tranquilizer guns and traps were also utilized. But most of the coyotes have eluded capture.
"We just have not been able to catch the other four and the incidents just seem to be escalating," City Manager Leslie Keane said.
Coyotes are often a problem in the vast suburbs in Southern California where homes are built right up to creeks and foothills where the animals roam. But coyotes are perfectly content to live in urban environments where the food supply outstrips that of the wild — garbage, tree fruit, pet food and pets offer ample grub, said Kevin Brennan, a wildlife biologist with California's Department of Fish and Game.
Laguna Woods is unique because the city made up of retirees has a median age of 77 — which has local officials concerned that such a tussle could take a bigger toll.
But confrontations between coyotes and suburbanites aren't new. Jurisdictions including Riverside and the county of San Bernardino also have hired private firms to trap or shoot the animals when preventative measures to keep them out have failed, Brennan said.
"What happens is familiarity breeds contempt," he said, "The longer coyotes hang around people, they lose their fear and they start becoming more bold."
"Basically you should never allow a coyote to feel comfortable around your home. You should always scare it off."
In Laguna Woods, two women were injured in the last week when they were knocked over after coyotes pulled on leashes to maul their small pet dogs. City officials said they don't want to wait until someone gets attacked by a coyote to take action and state authorities only get involved when there an imminent threat to public safety.
One of the challenges is many retirees have smaller pets who keep them company. In the absence of their now-grown children, the dogs and cats often become family and are attractive to coyotes.
Rosemary Mlakar, an 81-year-old retired teaching assistant, said she was sad to learn a coyote had run off with one of two ducks that frequented a grassy area near where she lives. She said has noticed a change in her neighbors, too.
"I am concerned about going and taking walks," Mlakar said. "I don't see people walking their dogs like I did every morning."
But some in the community don't want to see the animals shot. Organizations like People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and some Laguna Woods residents have said the city could review other options before reaching for a gun.
"I love animals and coyotes are no exception," 61-year-old resident Bj Garnaus was quoted as saying in the Orange County Register.
Officials say the problem likely starts in communities where residents didn't take measures to keep coyotes away before they got aggressive. Local officials have found leftover meatloaf and mashed potatoes left outside, leading them to believe residents were feeding the wild animals, Keane said.
That would lure coyotes to retirees' homes instead of shooing them away.
Mayor Bert Hack said most coyotes run off when they see people. He said he recently spotted one take off down the street with a cat in its mouth.
"We have dealt with this — it waxes and it wanes," Hack said. "But when people get hurt, you tend to want to do something about it."

Sorry. If it's taxed, it ain't moonshine.


Distillery to make South Carolina's first legal moonshine
CHARLESTON, South Carolina (Reuters) - Two entrepreneurs are taking advantage of South Carolina's new micro-distillery laws to make traditional moonshine whiskey legally in the state for the first time.
The Dark Corner Distillery will open next month in Greenville, where engineer Joe Fenten and longtime home beer brewer Richard Wenger will produce and sell small batches of 100-proof moonshine from a custom-made copper still.
The distillery, housed in a 1925 building, will also include a tasting bar and a museum dedicated to the history of the Dark Corner, the local mountains that were once full of moonshiners, feud and mayhem, Fenten, 27, told Reuters.
The area was settled, along with the nearby Smoky Mountains of Tennessee and Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina, by Scots, Irish and Welsh who migrated down through the Appalachian mountain chain from Pennsylvania in the 1700s.
"They thought it was their inalienable, God-given right to make whiskey," said Fenten, a Dark Corner native. "It was a hard life. If you could make an extra 10 cents more for a gallon of whiskey than you could for a bushel of corn, then why not?"
Moonshine traditionally was the term used to describe illegally distilled corn whiskey often made covertly by the light of the moon. The product made at the new distillery will be un-aged corn whiskey, but will be taxed and regulated.

Oh, HELL NO!!!!!!

Feds want to require Commercial Drivers Licenses for all farm equipment operators.

From the article:
The time-honored initiation into working the family farm could one day be a thing of the past, with discussions underway in Washington to require operators of farm equipment to have a commercial driver's license, or CDL.
Read the rest of the article here at Green Mountains Homesteading

*****

There's a lot at stake here, folks. Not just in increased prices at the store but especially in the government digging their claws in just a little bit deeper.

My bad......

A real woman is a man’s best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible…



No wait……..Sorry.
I’m thinking of whiskey. It’s whiskey that does all that shit.
Never mind.

- Curtis Lowe

The Debt Ceiling debate in words we understand

This is a Great Analogy that is easy to understand:


The analogy goes like this:
The Dhimmicrat Congress, having reached the legal limit of it’s spending capabilities and demanding a raise of the debt ceiling is like your teenage son maxxing out the credit card you gave him and now is asking for an increase in his credit limit. Since you’ve raised the limit so many times and he’s maxxed it each and every time, you’re getting a little peeved that he can’t grasp the concept of limiting his purchases.

That’s purdy close, but there’s more to it.

Your son didn’t just charge up the card, he managed to talk several of your neighbors into loaning him even more money to blow – more money than you will earn in a lifetime. And he fully expects to pay back those loans with his credit card.
Those neighbors that he owes money to? They hate your guts.

Your son has been boarding outlaws and hoodlums in your basement. He’s feeding them, clothing them and providing them entertainment, drugs and hookers. He’s using your money to support these people, in your own home, that also hate your guts.

Your son has been buying expensive, custom-built guns and giving them to another set of your neighbors. These particular neighbors hate your guts, and have actually assaulted you personally in the past on multiple occasions. Now they have some really cool weaponry to use on you – that you paid for.

Your son has hired someone to control what you can and cannot eat.
Your son has hired someone to control what you drive.
Your son has hired someone to control what you listen to on the radio.
Your son has hired someone to steal all your personal guns.
Your son has hired someone to control all those other controllers.
And each and every one of those controllers hate your guts.

Your son is now demanding that if you can’t afford extra credit card payments, you get another job. Although your son has never had a job of his own and can’t even spell the word, he’s convinced that by spending more of your money he can create some jobs for you. You will be able to work for him. He’ll pay you with your own money so you can afford to raise his credit card limit. Just to make sure that plan works smoothly he’s also subsidizing a union for you to join as his employee. The union will make sure your son treats you right because you’re paying them too. And of course, they’re giving some of that money to your son for landing them the contract.

You are getting ready to kick the living crap out of your son.

There. That’s a fine tuned analogy for ya.

- Stolen from Irish who stole it from What Bubba Knows

He forgot to mention Ken's money

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?"
The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95."
The amazed father asks: "It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: "Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, and one of Ken's Friends."


- Rob