Saturday, June 23, 2012

Hey, your rules.....

You'll go far, Kid.

Oh, this is gonna leave a mark......

Dinner time!!!!

DEARBORN HEIGHTS, Mich. (AP) - A baby raccoon that got stuck head-first in a sewer grate is free thanks to the quick and slippery work of some city workers in suburban Detroit.

The Detroit Free Press reports ( Dearborn Heights Department of Public Works Director Bill Zimmer was in his front yard Wednesday when he noticed the critter. He called fellow Public Works employees for help. They used vegetable oil and dish soap to free the raccoon.
A release from Dearborn Heights says the crew took the raccoon to the Public Works yard for a "much-needed shower" before letting it go in the woods.The animal was OK after the ordeal.


I have to agree with Montanasmama: I know a much quicker way to get it out - cut it's little head off, clean it and throw it in the stewpot. Hell, it's already caught, that's half the work right there.
Young coon like that ought to be real tasty.

Straight-up White Trash, God bless 'er

The Joker

Just a show of dominance.

There's gonna be titties everywhere when you cut them loose

Well he WAS a good dog.....

Well, I’ve lost CharlieGodammit. No, the motherfucker’s still alive but he’s got his nose so far up Lisa’s ass that I might as well start looking for another wolf dog.

When I first got him, he was a real dog with a Fuck You attitude and we really butted heads but after about 6 months we settled into each other’s routines and came to an understanding about property rights - the ground I was occupying at that moment was mine, everything else was his. I did not go through any gates unless that dog was looking at and recognizing me and I made sure I was talking when I went through any door when he was in the house. My security door at the other house was permanently bowed out from him trying to attack anybody turning up my sidewalk, even my mother. I have friends that refuse to come over anymore because of him. He’s done time in the county lockup for biting a would-be burglar to the tune of 48 stitches. But he was fiercely loyal to me. We were a team.

The Lisa started coming around.

Now I’ve always known he was a woman’s dog at one time. He loves most women and all kids, but hates men. When I used to take him to the dog park he’d run right up to a group of women and get some lovin’ but if a man tried to pet him, he’d hike his leg and throw a squirt his way and just trot off.

No matter how well he knew anybody, he’d always attack when they turned up the walkway, but the second time Lisa came over that suckass started switching his tail back and forth, ears were down and I swear to God he was grinning.

Well, okay. That made it easier on me not having to break up with Lisa because Charlie and her didn’t get along, so I kinda sorta encouraged it - besides, we hadn’t slept together yet so I was still being all nice and considerate and shit. But she had never had a dog before so I showed her his commands and what he was expected to do for his doggy treats and rawhide bones and cow legs, let her get a kick out of making that beast mind her, you know, the same feeling you got when you rode a horse the first time and it did what you wanted it to do.
Well fuck, I created a monster - two of them in fact. She had that motherfucker up and down all day long, making him do this and that for doggy treats. She was smiling and laughing, he was burping and farting. He would’ve put on 20 pounds if she hadn’t been making him work so hard for them.

A box of doggy treats used to last me about 2 weeks because I just didn’t ask too much of the damned dog, just keep an eye on the property, shit in the far corner and don’t bite me. For that he got a couple of treats in the evening and maybe a nut-rubbin if he was laying close and I didn’t have to get up.

All I ever made him do for a treat was sit and that was just to keep him from knocking me over and taking it. Even then he’d think about it for a minute and if nobody was watching, then he’d sit.
But with Lisa? It’s play time. He runs in circles, lays his chest down with his ass in the air, barks, and generally embarrasses the fuck out of me and that’s when she’s just headed for the jar. Once she has it in her hand, the show starts. She makes him ‘talk’ first. Not barking but howling, then she makes him sit and when he sits he doesn’t take his sweet ass time like he does for me, he fires his ass down so hard he bounces. Then she makes him get back up, then down. When he goes down he doesn’t lay down or drop, he throws himself on the ground. After about 5 minutes of the Dog & Pony(less) Show, he gets his treat which he wolfs down in about .2 seconds. Then they do it agian.

What a fucking suckass. He actually enjoys being Lisa’s bitch.

So now he’s her fucking shadow. He’s outside at her feet at this very moment. When I get up at 4 AM he gets up with me, eats, goes outside to shit right outside the doors of the Bronco, and then comes back in and whines outside the bedroom door because his mama’s in there.

He used to greet me when I came in from work, now all he does is lift his leg like he expects me to rub his no-nads or something. Sorry motherfucker won’t even get up.

The other night we came in and sat down with CGD still outside, looking all abandoned on the other side of the glass door. After a few minutes of Lisa fucking with him and tormenting him, I got irritated at her teasing him and let him in. What did he do? Ran straight to Lisa. Fucking asshole…..

When she gets up, he gets up. When I get up he just spreads out hoping to trip me so he’ll have an excuse to bite me. The other day she was on the couch and he trotted up and started talking to her and wouldn‘t shut up or go away. “Pushy motherfucker, ain’t he?” I observed.
“Oh, he can be. Downright demanding at times.” She started to get up.
“Naw, I’ll get him a DT, I need some more tea anyways” I said.
“That’s not his doggy treat tone, he wants a rawhide bone when he talks like that.” she comes back.
Oh really? They communicate now? Evidently so because Charlie spit out his DT and sat down in front of the bone box.
I’ve lost him.

You made your bed, asshole.


Thanks for your concern

Dignity? Where?

And I think the State should mind it's own business

Friday, June 22, 2012

Damn! You can have it!!!! Fuck......

Call her a skank ho afterwards, partner.

Taking care of your suppressor

Jim (the inventor) sent me this video.
If you're interested and want to contact Jim, let me know.

A boy and his dog

Taken about a year ago.

Yeah, never trust a Mexican with a knife......

One wouldn’t think so, given the hundreds of lunches and dinners he’s attended ranging from state dinners to political fundraisers to run-of-the-mill stops on the rubber-chicken circuit.
However, at one such lunch Friday afternoon, guests heard an unusual announcement that they needed to hand over their silverware for security reasons.
“It’s very important that you use your utensils as soon as possible,” National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials board member Raquel Regalado told about 1000 delegates at the group’s annual conference.
Regalado hurried the diners to finish up their salads and pre-cut chicken breasts, saying that the Secret Service required that there be no knives at the tables and that the forks be rounded up before Obama entered the room.
“As you know, we’re having another speaker and there is some Secret Service involved. So there’s a reason why there’s no knives at your table and the forks will be collected. ... And I’m not joking,” Regalado told the audience in a ballroom at Disney’s Contemporary Resort at Walt Disney World. “So, like the good Hispanic mother I’m here to tell you to please, eat your lunch.”


What kind of shit is this? Seriously, can you insult anybody any more than by taking their fucking silverware so they won't stab you????
"Yup, just roll them frijoles and rice up in that tortilla, Juan....... You'll be fine."
What a fucking ass.....

Sandman's Mona has a crush on CharlieGodammit

This is our Shepherd, Mona giving Charlie her best come hither look.
I shit you not, I showed her his pic one time on a big screen monitor and she kept staring at him and cocking her head like she was listening for him.
But she does the same thing when she sees herself in the mirror.

Goodbye Rocky, we're gonna miss ya!


Thursday, June 21, 2012

Montanasmama on cutting pigs

Here's the latest in an exchange of emails between me and MM, who hails from West Virginia. She mentioned that she had to tag some goats the next morning and I came back with having tagged cattle before but not goats, then I mentioned something about cutting shoats.
Here, with her permission, is what she came back with:

 PIGS!!! I love pigs. This is so weird,(queue the music boyo) Kenny I swear this afternoon I was looking in the shop for the rig I used to hang piglets in to cut them. Years ago ( like 30) I used to raise a few litters of pigs a year. My GOB neighbor came up to castrate the fist litter, he did 2 and made me do the rest. He told me girlie if you’re going to do this you gotta learn! I bought this neat little rig at the local farm store that slipped over a board and you could hang the piglets upside down in it to do the dirty. It worked sweet. I ended up castrating everyone’s pigs in 3 counties! LOL But they were just little piglets, and other people were catching them and handing them to me. Now shoats, 60-80# are another story. Just ringing them boogers was a challenge. I did find my snoot snatcher but alas no hanger. I had a boar about 400# I wanted to butcher but needed to cut him first so the meat didn’t stink of boar. I talked to another GOB neighbor about it and he said we can do it. He brought over a 55 gallon drum and wedged it between a tree and the fence and he told me to throw the boar’s feed in it and make him crawl in to eat. AH OK I said. After about a week of this when the boar was crawling right into the barrel, Russ and his son came over tipped the barrel up with the boar in it and Bob’s your uncle easy peasy castration. That was late spring, I butchered in Dec and that hog never went with in 10’ of that barrel again! LOL I learned so much here about how to farm poor and work horses on these WV hillside farms from those good old boys. Sadly they are all gone and not many people are interested in that stuff any more.


And it's a crying shame that folks aren't interested in that stuff anymore, stuff that helped build and feed a Nation. We used to be a hardy people but in the last 50 years we've all but forgotton how to survive without somebody else's help. Think about it: How many of you can remember all the womenfolk in the family getting together a couple times a year to put up preserves and vegetables that were grown in all the backyards of an extended family? How many families do that now? I do not know one single person outside of my mother that still cans. It's too easy to go to the grocery to buy that can of green beans.
Take that store away due to civil war, natural disaster or economic collapse and what happens? Widespread panic, looting, and starvation. After the mobs kill each other off fighting for finite supply of food, Montanasmama is going to be up in her hills raising her food, cutting her pigs and living her life.

Doug's Willow

He mentions Willow as his baby in the email.
I know, man, I know.

Probably fake


If I were to win the lottery.....

I think the biggest compliment I ever got was when I was riding in my beat up old farm truck with a friend that I worked with. We were just passing the time of day on the way home from work when Tio asked "If you won the lottery, $10 million dollars, what would you do?"
Man, I thought long and hard. Ten million bucks. That's a lot of fucking money, but I ain't lacking much. Hmmmm...... Fuck, that's tough one.
"I don't know man, maybe paint my truck."
He started laughing "That's what I love about you - What you see is what you get. Right up front."
The more I thought about it, I realized what a cool fucking thing he said. What you see is what you get. You know I've always maintained that if everybody else thought like I did the world would be a much better place, but damn, that's the first time I've ever really been able to actually justify that in a twisted sort of wirecutter way.
Of course he might have been thinking too that I was just too fucking stupid to go buy a new truck.

True, true.....

Rosy, posing thoughtfully in the mirror, says to Nina "I think I'm going to see a dietician".
"Why?" asks Nina.
Rosy answers "I need to know once and for all how many calories there are in semen".
Nina replies "I really have no clue, but if you're swallowing that much of it, no guy is going to care if you're a little chunky."
-Mr Orsm

I'm not even gonna ask.....

He waited his whole life to be able to say that

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

And you thought I was paranoid.....

-- Thousands of drones patrolling U.S. skies?
Predictions that multitudes of unmanned aircraft could be flying here within a decade are raising the specter of a "surveillance society" in which no home or backyard would be off limits to prying eyes overhead. Law enforcement, oil companies, farmers, real estate agents and many others have seen the technology that was pioneered on battlefields, and they are eager to put it to use.
It's not just talk: The government is in the early stages of devising rules for the unmanned aircraft.

So far, civilian use of drones is fairly limited. The Federal Aviation Administration had issued fewer than 300 permits for drones by the end of last year.

Public worries about drones began mostly on the political margins, but there are signs that they're going mainstream.

Jeff Landry, a freshman Republican congressman from Louisiana's coastal bayou country, says constituents have stopped him while shopping at Walmart to talk about their concerns.
"There is a distrust amongst the people who have come and discussed this issue with me about our government," Landry said. "It's raising an alarm with the American public."

Fear that some drones may be armed, for example, has been fueled in part by a county sheriff's office in Texas that used a homeland security grant to buy a $300,000, 50-pound ShadowHawk helicopter drone for its SWAT team. The drone can be equipped with a 40mm grenade launcher and a 12-gauge shotgun.

Read more here:

Read more here:

Transparency at it finest

WASHINGTON — A long-simmering fight between Republican lawmakers and the Obama administration sharply escalated on Wednesday, as a Congressional panel recommended that the House of Representatives cite Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. for contempt and President Obama asserted executive privilege to shield Justice Department documents from disclosure.


While I think what happened with Fast & Furious was not only a crime but an outrage, and while I think Holder's much more involved than is suspected, and while I think the cocksucker should be hung, drawn and quartered for the murder of Brian Terry, I have to agree with Sam that the only thing dwelling on this will accomplish is force us to take our eyes away from our goals, the restoration of a Constitutional Government. Sam went on to say that if they tried Holder and found him guilty, his shit would be in appeals while he's out on bail from now to never and inside of 3 weeks of him leaving the Justice Department, he'll be pulling in six figures or more a year as a lobbyist or consultant or something else just as loathsome, like a tick or a tapeworm or even a Kennedy. Okay, I threw in the Kennedy part.
They might as well just drop the investigation and move on. Obama ain't gonna let Whitey fuck with his boy.

Fuck, Anon is in SERIOUS trouble now

From my good friend and longtime reader Karen, in reference to the post from yesterday:
I just read the posts from this morning. Here’s my two cents. Professional and personal. Actually my comments will be directed to Anonymous.
Dear Anonymous,
I hardly know where to begin. I enjoyed reading YOUR posts and Kenny’s responses. As a public school teacher I would inform YOU that YOU earned a failing grade for YOUR compositions. Please note that I am capitalizing the word YOUR and YOU. This is to help YOU learn how to spell them correctly…which is something YOU should have learned in first grade. They are called sight words. Words ARE NOT spelled with numbers in them. Again, this is something YOU should have learned in first grade. YOUR responses are not text messages. Therefore, using texting vernacular is highly unacceptable. Sentences start with capital letters and end in punctuation of some sort….depending on the emotion the writer is trying to convey. To the best of my knowledge there is not a word in the English language spelled tyep. Nor is there a word spelled ofyep. Proofreading is obviously a skill YOU did not learn while in school.
In case you couldn’t tell that was my professional response. Here is my personal response.
There are billions of people in this great world of ours. But at any given time, YOU are the only one who gives a fuck about what YOU think and YOUR opinion. I am certain Kenny doesn’t give a fuck what YOUR opinion is. I am certain that Kenny’s readers don’t give a fuck what YOUR opinion is. And to make sure that YOU understand, I don’t give a fuck either.
If YOU don’t agree with Kenny, his opinions, his leisure activities and so on, why didn’t YOU go find another blog to read? Why do YOU care what Kenny does or says?
YOU asked him why he had to curse so much yet YOU do the same in YOUR responses. Why do YOU fucking care about Kenny’s fucking cursing?
Owning guns is a United States Constitutional right. YOU must have missed those classes, too. Why do YOU give a fuck about Kenny’s guns? He isn’t pointing the fucking thing at YOU.
Although I have not personally met Kenny, he and I have communicated over the years. I consider him a friend. He is not a dumb Redneck nor does he present himself as one. He is quite an intelligent Redneck. I am a Redneck, too, and damn proud of it. I am an American by birth and Southern by the grace of God. (Too bad I can’t cue the song Dixie here, eh Kenny? But I digress). I have learned quite a bit from him and by reading his blog. If I don’t agree with him I don’t bust his balls. Nor do I argue with him about his opinions. If anything, I ask him to explain his position so that I understand it better. This is called “respectful conversation.”
I simply love YOUR statement: I  will be reporting ur web to various agencies. What the fuck are YOU?? Five??When YOU finish tattling are YOU going to hold YOUR fucking breath until YOU get YOUR fucking way?? Fall to the fucking floor and kick YOUR fucking feet?? He is already in the crosshairs of some national agencies.So I don’t think he is losing sleep over YOUR fucking tattling threat.
Should YOU respond to my post, please go ahead. (Kenny’s got my back. And I don’t even have to ask him.) But keep this in mind: In order for YOU and YOUR opinion to make a difference to someone YOU must be important to them. YOU are not important to me nor will you ever be. Kenny, Lisa and CGD are welcome in my home anytime. YOU, on the other hand, are not. Please keep YOUR fucking Yankee ass north of the Mason Dixon line.
So to bring this to a close: Fuck off. And since YOU don't have the balls to use YOUR name, shut the fuck up.
Karen Musser
Stephens City, VA
Damn, remind me never to piss Karen off.....

Hurry, the mall's about to open!!!

Ugly as hell, ain't it?


Angel wings?

Or is she getting pushed over by a great big orange penis?

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Uh-oh I've done it now.....

The latest exchange from my now infamous Big Bad Wolf post.
There was more to it but there were a shitload of other comments in between and I didn't feel like editing them all out. You can go there yourself and check them all out.

Anonymous said...

do u have to curse so much? I wonder how would you boys do with those animals, without ur guns - u people are all talk

wirecutter said...

Anonymous: We'd do a hell of a lot better than you would, you can't even spell simple words like You and Your.
YOU need to go back to school and while YOU'RE there, YOU should learn to mind YOUR own business.

lmao! I don't know how to spell! I know how to spell, but u have no clue what is nova days internet etiquette.
You present urself as a dumb redneck, with all your cursing and those animals you kill, are way better than you are. If you are so "brave" why don't you hunt with your bare hands. Why do you hide behind your big gun? Btw, bragging about making 4 times the minimum wage is hilarious! Where I live, that would make you a total loser, no one would be impressed with your guns or your philosophy. You would probably be a handyman in one of our mansions or summer house in Hampton's. So long Mr.Four Times the Minimum Wage
p.s. instead of sending someone to school, cursing others, why don't you have a conversation based on valid points and courtesy - oh no, you won't have one - because world is a jungle! LOL

wirecutter said...

Nobody is impressed by the fact you live in the Hamptons on money you didn't earn, Sweetie. Maybe your daddy is, but I'm guessing he's getting tired of your freeloading ass anyways.
If you want a courteous conversation, why didn't you start one instead of talking shit?
And excuse me for assuming you're a female - if you're not you sure missed a bet.
And as long as you're trash talking MY bravery, why aren't you using your real name instead of hiding under anonymous?
By the way, you can justify your misspelled words, but they are still misspelled and make you look like a dumb fucking cunt to everybody but your texting friends.
-Kenny Lane
Ceres, CA

yep, as I thought, u r nothing but a redneck, talking with u is beneath me and I am sorry for u, u r nothing but a h8er (I don't expect u to know what it means). Daddy did not pay for a thing, there are smart, educated people making tons of money and they do not need to curse and wave their dick to prove to something. I will be reporting ur web to various agencies, I'll make sure you will pay for you are doing, hunting wolves in Ohio is illegal and since you you enjoy foul language so much hope you have a great evening you dumb fucktard :)

wirecutter said...

Sweetheart, just where in the fuck did you get the idea I'm from Ohio? Or that I killed a wolf illegally?
Go ahead and report all you want, all you'll do is show off your ignorance to a whole new group of people.

The possibilities are endless

Buckwheat meets the Queen


MissK's dog Lucky

MissK sent in these pictures of her dog Lucky. I'm assuming these were taken last winter but they may have been taken last week seeing as she's from Canada or Alaska or Oregon - one of those up-north places where they talk funny and they cool their beer off by putting it outside and have to wear underwear and shit. But yeah, it's gotta be Canada because she said that ground behind Lucky is American soil.
Good looking dog, MissK.

Hmmmm, I'll have to remember this one.

We have our State run education system to thank.....

I think it might be some of those illiterate fuckers that comment on my Big Bad Wolf post.


Not quite, but thanks for the graphics.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Just sayin'

Quit fucking around, sonny.

Again, the little smartass down at George's Liquors tried to card me the last time I was in for tobacco.  I can understand their caution with the crackdown by LEO for selling to minors, but I'm in there almost every day, so we've been through this before once or twice. Instead of waving my grey beard at him, now I just reminence. The latest exchange:

"Gimme a can of Long Cut, Chief."
"Five Dollars and some proof of age. Sir."
"My first car had an 8 track in it."
"Thank you. See you tomorrow."

I'm willing to bet the little fucker doesn't even know what an 8 track player is.

But everybody needs a hug.....

Grove City, OH (The Weekly Vice) - Jeremy Roberts, a 38-year-old Ohio man was jailed Sunday after he allegedly stabbed his ex-wife to death in front of their children, then asked them for a hug.

According to police, officers were dispatched to the scene after the couple's 13-year-old son called 911 and stated that his mother had just been stabbed by his father.
The victim, identified as Candice Roberts, had come to the residence to pick up the couple's 13-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter at the conclusion of a weekend visitation.
"My dad just killed my mom," stated the teen. "He just told me to call you guys."
"He did what?" replied the dispatcher.

Making do with what you have

More Nanny State shenanigans

(CNN) -- Western governments, including the United States, appear to be stepping up efforts to censor Internet search results and YouTube videos, according to a "transparency report" released by Google.
"It's alarming not only because free expression is at risk, but because some of these requests come from countries you might not suspect -- Western democracies not typically associated with censorship," Dorothy Chou, a senior policy analyst at Google, wrote in a blog post on Sunday night.


Well, that explains why I can't find something when I know I just looked it up the day before.
Now if I can only find my car keys.....

Comment of the Day (again)

From HERE again:

Anonymous said...

you are exactly the problem with the world. You pride yourself on owning a weapon when I guarantee you should not have the right to own one. Why kill these animals? It's funny how the individuals (red necks) who hunt and kills defenseless animals are the ones with minimal education. Let me guess, you never graduate from high school and now you work a dead-end job where you make a minimal salary and the only days you look forward to are your hunting days. What a great American you are.
June 18, 2012 11:03 AM

Bloggerwirecutter said...

You didn't read the text before the pictures, did you, dumbass?
Fuck you. Go pet a wolf.
June 18, 2012 11:29 AM


I thought about closing that particular posts to comments a few days ago but damn, I get so much material from there.
I did add some text that I referred to in my reply. I'll save you the trouble of clicking over and do my computer wizardry for you and copy-n-paste it.

If you're a PETAphile or one of those folks that believe that there are no predators in the world and we can co-exist with nature, don't even bother commenting. For one, I don't want to hear your fucking opinion and #2, you ain't gonna say nothing I haven't already heard before from a dozen other cowardly anonymous motherfuckers.

Oh God, what's next?

WASHINGTON (HuffPo) — A transgender man made a bold move on Friday during an extravagant White House reception in honor of LGBT Pride Month: he dropped down on one knee and proposed to his partner.
Scout, whose full name is legally one word, popped the question to Liz Margolies just minutes after President Barack Obama addressed the guests, many of whom are leaders in the LGBT community. Scout said he had been planning to propose to Margolies at the White House for almost a year, but when the moment presented itself, he realized he hadn’t chosen a place to do it. So he just got down on his knee in the middle of Cross Hall, the main hallway on the first floor of the White House, where dozens of guests were sipping champagne and listening to the U.S. Marine Band.
“I memorized some things but I kind of forgot half of them,” Scout told The Huffington Post right after. He listed some of them: “Because the last three and a half years, you have been an amazing adventure. Because you try harder than anyone in the world. Because while I’m a little scared to spend the rest of my life with you, because you’re so damn fierce, I’m also amazingly excited about the possibility.”

Proudly Servicing All Your Bling Needs


Can't be scaring the kiddies, now.

It's the traditional sound which has greeted the start of children's sack races, sprints and egg and spoon challenges for generations.
And when Gartocharn Primary School in Dunbartonshire secured the services of the London Olympics chief starter for their own sports day, the school must have thought it would be an extra special occasion.
But the school had not reckoned with the administrative power of health and safety council officials, who banned Alan Bell from firing a pistol at the event in case the sound frightened the school's children.

In an even more bizarre move, the council's solution was to play a recording of a starting pistol from an iPod, before it was eventually agreed that Mr Bell could use a klaxon instead
Parents of pupils at the school have branded the ruling 'ridiculous' and accused the local authority of 'tying themselves in knots'..

One parent, who did not wish to be named, told a Sunday newspaper: 'It was ridiculous. We were told that the children would be distressed by Mr Bell firing his starting pistol.
'Anyone who believes they would be frightened by a starting pistol has never experienced the noise at a typical three-year-old’s birthday party.

Thanks to David for providing me with my morning laugh.

Everybody loves Milfy Mondays!!!!!

It can't be Milfy Monday already!!??