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Friday, November 21, 2025

Fucking buzzkills

FORT COLLINS, Colo. (AP) — Getting high around a campfire in a national park, especially in Wyoming, is likelier to get you prosecuted under a new Justice Department policy cracking down on minor marijuana offenses on federal land.
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Back around 1983 or so, one of my friends that worked in the steel mill at the ammo plant decided to spend the day fishing a stream right on the boundary of Yosemite National Park with his dog. He'd parked on a wide spot of a dirt road just inside the park. Him and Rover or whatever his dog's name was had a great day and as he's loading his dog and fly rod into his truck, a Park Ranger pulls up. He's cool, he doesn't fuck with Scotty one bit, just sitting there shooting the shit about different flies that work well that time of the year, so Scotty whips out a joint and fires it up right in front of the incredulous Ranger, then offers him a toke.
Bam, Scotty suddenly finds himself under arrest for drug possession on Federal property. Not only that but Ranger Bob adds insult to injury and ticketed him for having his dog unrestrained in the Park when the dog jumped out of the back of the truck as Scotty was being searched.
We fucked with Scotty hard. He protested that the Ranger seemed cool but we shut that shit down real quick by asking if he would ever offer to smoke a joint with a CHP that was cool and let him out of a traffic stop with just a warning?
It ended up costing him several thousand dollars in lawyer's fees because there was a very real danger of a jail sentence, lost wages for the days he had to go to court in Yosemite (yes, the park has a jail and courthouse) and the thousand dollar fine he eventually ended up with.

21 comments:

  1. The federal prohibition on marijuana also bites quite a few people when purchasing a firearm, because so many states have legalized marijuana for supposed medical purposes.

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    1. That's one of the reasons I didn't get a prescription from my doctor for back pain. I would have lost my Pennsylvania carry permit. The other reason was that every time I tried MJ, I threw up.

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    2. My ex had one in California before they legalized it and she was on my ass to get one too. Part of the reason I refused was because I heard they checked for that when you tried to buy a new gun, but the reason I gave her was I could get better shit and cheaper too from my grower up in Mendocino County.

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  2. IIRC, an NPS Ranger friend told me that Yosemite has its own morgue as well.

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  3. Scott was a maroon!

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  4. When I was a ski patroller we had a permit on federal land and there was a dickhead forest service guy who would fuck with people on the access road. Pot's legal here, but this dude was a Fed. Any vehicle with a visible snowboard was an automatic bust.
    tominor

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  5. It's way past time to legalize weed, grow your own not that dispensary tax scam bullshit
    JD

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  6. People in this world that show up unannounced are there to help themselves, not you. It is best to keep your mouth shut and your habits tucked away. Don't be Scotty.

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  7. Proof that the devil’s lettuce clouds good sound judgement I’d say. Hey officer, want a hit? Dumbass.

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    Replies
    1. In Scotty's defense, he claimed he didn't know Park Rangers had arrest powers inside the Park. We still fucked with him about it, though.

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  8. Thats why they call it dope!

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  9. Who knew Pam Bondi was such a tight-ass?
    She doesn't like guns either...

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  10. Back in the day I was fishing one of the small rivers here in a 10' Johnboat and had lost my lure so I pulled up to the bank near the put-in point to tie on another. I had my one hitter in the tackle box and thought about taking a puff but decided to wait. Good call.
    I heard someone clear their throat and the brush crackle and when I looked up I could see that dark Blue stripe running up those Gray pants and sure enough it was Squirrel Sheriff Carol.
    She asked how the fishing was and politely asked for my ID and fishing license. I politely handed them up the bank to her and after a glance she handed them back.
    I got down the river a couple hundred yards right up next to a tall bluff and took an extra puff or two for my good luck and to wait a while and make sure she was gone.
    Good times!!

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  11. Was the park rangers body ever found???

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  12. The ammo plant in Riverbank?

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  13. At one time, National Parks were one of America's best ideas.
    Now with rabid liberals running them, they are nothing but legalized land confiscations.

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  14. I cannot comprehend the level of stupidity that would induce someone to light up MJ in front of an officer.

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    Replies
    1. As I replied to another commenter, Scotty claimed he didn't know Rangers had arrest powers. To be honest, I don't think I did either at that point. How would you know if you didn't frequent National Parks?
      I still wouldn't have fired up a doobie in front of anybody wearing a uniform, though.

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