Saturday, August 30, 2008

And with this, I'm signing off for the night

Hey, sounds like my HIGH school


Me and my Tight Brother Chuck after a hard day's work working on engines, drinking and lying about our Service days. I'm the one with the beer. This was taken in 1982 in Modesto, CA.

My favorite shop

Good Time Charlie Cartwright standing in front of his shop in Modesto, CA

Yes, it hurt!

Me getting my chest tattoooed, Reno, 2004, The artist is Alex Sherker out of New York.

Lazy fucker

Li'l Chinaman's starting young

Harlem blackout photos

Sex ed Okie style

A little Okie boy goes to the drugstore for some condoms. He goes up to the pharmacist and asked him,"Sir, can you tell me where the ribbed, lubricated condoms are?"
The pharmacist replied, "Son, do you know what condoms are used for?"
"Sure do" replied the boy, "They keep you from getting venereal diseases."
"Yes, that's true," said the pharmacist, "do you know what the lubrication is for?"
"Yessir, for ease of entry" replied the li'l Okie.
"Yes, yes" said the pharmacist, "but how about the ribs? What are they for?"
The little Okie boy thought for a moment, then looked up at the pharmacist and replied, "Well, they don't do a whole lot for me, but they sure do make the hair on the backs of them goats stand straight up."

The worst of both worlds

What do you get when you cross a blonde and a redhead?
A dumb broad who's pissed as hell about it."

41 Magnums and Big Slugs

by Lee Martin
(Arlington, Virginia)

A lot has been written about using heavy cast bullets in the .41 Magnum. Much of it has been favorable while others question the need to further “magnumize” the round. I tend to agree with the latter because the .44s and .45 Colts are much better suited for 300 grain slugs and above. Nonetheless, I had a desire to try heavy bullets in the .41. Previously, my experience had been
with the cast weights of 210, 220, and 240 and the results were excellent in my Blackhawks and S&W 57s. JD Jones of SSK Industries had long used .410” bullets ranging from 275 to 295 grains for increased penetration on big game and claimed that accuracy was uncompromised (these bullets are commonly known as being SSK designed).
In August of 1996 I purchased a few hundred .41s in the 295 SSK style. Though many have tried them in the double action Smiths, I only intended to use them in strong .41s, such as the Blackhawks or Dan Wessons. My initial testing of the bullet proved what Jones had claimed for years.….namely, that the .41 Magnum can easily accept heavier bullets and still shoot straight. I was impressed enough to contact NEI and order a mould for a 300 grain .410”. Upon doing so, they informed me that they had a dual-cavity offering: one was a 275 grain, non-gas check slug while the other punched out 300 grain gas-checked. Casting proved to produce heavier weights than advertised; the 275’s came in at 297 grains while the 300 topped out at 335. I was much more interested in working with the heavier of the two, but wondered if the weight was overly
excessive. It was obvious that to attain velocities greater than 1,200 fps, the 335 would have to be seated farther out of the case.
The gun that I elected to use for testing is a custom 5-shot .41 that was built on a stainless steel Blackhawk frame. The standard backstrap was discarded and replaced with a Bisley conversion kit to include the correct hammer and trigger. Next, my father built a new cylinder and installed a 5” barrel that was made off of a cut down piece of .41 Ruger tube. One reason we went to these lengths is that I wanted a long cylinder so that the bullets could be seated farther out (case capacity is quite limited when the 335s have to be seated for a standard sized cylinder). As a result, there is minimal barrel-to-frame protrusion on the gun we built. Whether the 5-shot design is necessary or not, remains to be seen. The loads that I’ll eventually discuss may safely work in the 6-shots, but the added strength comes in handy when pressure curves exceed
50,000. The other reason that I opted to not use one of my existing .41 Blackhawks is that they all were sighted for lighter weight bullets (200 – 240 grain).
When working with a 5-shot .41 Mag cylinder, you’ll definitely appreciate the amount of unused steel. They’re strong to say the least. Because of this I wasted no time in trying the 335 grain bullet over a fair amount of ball powder. Starting loads used 15 grains of W296 and produced mild recoil and excellent accuracy at 30 yards. From there, subsequent loads were increased by
half-grain increments until 19 grains was reached. This load generated a lot of recoil and flattened the hell out of large magnum pistol primers. I was ready to quit at that point, but at the urging of my dad’s friend I went to 20 grains. It worked well, the rounds extracted with relative ease, and the bullet shot consistently. Case pressure was another story though. Unquestionable these loads produce well over 50,000 cup which is fine in a 5-shot gun; I wouldn’t want to try them in a standard Blackhawk. As a comparison, most loading detail shows the 295 hard cast bullet to max out around 19.5 grains of H110 (which is nearly interchangable with 296). According to the Hodgen manual, this load generates velocities around 1,270 fps out of a six-inch barrel. Though they don’t specify it to be unsafe in an N-frame Smith, I wouldn’t attempt the combination.
Twenty grains of W296 with the 335 in heavy frames such as a Freedom Arms or 5-shot custom Ruger works well though. Velocities range between 1,230 and 1,250 fps and provide roughly 1,160 foot pounds of muzzle energy. The real benefit though is the increased penetration as afforded by the heavy weight/cross-sectional profile.
One consideration in using the heavy bullet is how the projectile stabilizes with standard .41 barrel twist. Surprisingly, it doesn’t seem to be an issue. The 295/335s prove accurate and consistent in how they shoot. Personally, I’ve not tried them at ranges past 50 yards, but out to that distance they fly great.
Secondly, the compressed 335 loads when propelled by 296/110 kick hard but do so with less of a jolting effect. I’ve found that when massive bullets are used in standard pistol rounds, that faster powders such as 2400 excessively hammer the gun and shooter. Again, W296/H110 seem to work the best in the heavy .41s. I do recommend long cylinders though for .410”s that are 300 grains and above.
Velocities of 1,250 fps provide for incredible down range performance, but to achieve this you need additional case capacity. Twenty grains of W296 is simply over-compressed when the 335 grain is loaded in a standard length cylinder.
Granted, ball powders are happy when in this environment; what is often overlooked though is that if excessively compressed, burn rate and detonation can be altered enough to hamper performance. A tenth of an inch worth of additional cylinder enables the bullet to be seated out enough to eliminate the problem. Some selected .41 Magnum loads (to include lighter bullets) are listed below.
So is it necessary to big-bullet the .41 Magnum? This has been debated for years and many notable gun writers have taken the position that it is a worthwhile endeavor. Logically speaking, the 300 grain+ road is better served with the .44 Magnum and .45 Colt. For those of us though that are fanatical about .41s, the heavy bullet option provides increased penetration and terminal energy while maintaining excellent accuracy. I should again stress that I’ve worked with these loads in 5-shot Ruger Blackhawks. Obviously, they should be safe in Freedom Arms single-actions and heavy framed doubles such as the Ruger Redhawk. I have not tried, nor do I recommend, maximum 300 grain loads in weaker doubles-actions (ie, N-Frame Smith & Wessons, Taurus’, etc).


THE SETTING: A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.
Old Man: "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. Piled it for months. But do they call me McGregor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days. But do they call me McGregor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that sretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGregor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention. “But ya get caught fucking one lousy goat………”

Another truth, I'm sorry to say

Q: What does a tornado and an Okie divorce have in common?
A: Somebody’s fixin’ to lose a mobile home.

Ain't that the truth

What's a Okie Fortune Cookie?
A piece of cornbread with a food stamp baked inside.

There oughta be a law against people like me

We were in Dave's T-Bird in the Jack In The Box drive thru on Standiford Avenue in Modesto one afternoon back in the late Eighties. I was kickin' on back, smoking some Killer Green Bud and watching the world go by while Dave was ordering. All of a sudden, I notice this fine young thang bumping and grinding across the parking lot. I mean this young lady was sharp looking. Delicate facial features, great body, good posture, but there was something about her that I just couldn't figure out. Suddenly it hits me. This girl is only about 12 years old! I poke Dave (who is still ordering) and say "Hey man, check out the body on that I2 year old." The intercom goes dead quiet. I tried explaining to the pimply faced chick at the window that I meant to say "I can't believe that a 12 year old has a body like that" but I still think she spit in my Fajita Pita.

Whattya mean I drove?

SUMMER, 1986
We'd eaten a fist full of mushrooms at a Dead show one night. After the show was over, I offered to drive home because I appeared to be the least fucked up and besides, I was the one who finally found the car. No, Dave insisted, he was fine. He drove all the way home from Sacramento without incident, even stopping at Denny's in Stockton for breakfast. The next morning he looks at me and says "I appreciate you driving home last night, man. I was ripped."

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to the Queen and Matriarch of Country Music, Kitty Wells, who led the way for many women in Country Music today and was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame in 1976. She's 89 today.

My Baby

My Ruger Blawkhawk in 41 Remington Magnum with heavy loads - 280 gr. hardcast Wide Flat Nosed Gas Checked Semi Wadcutters (Beartooth Bullets) over 20 grains of H110 and a large magnum pistol primer.
The handgun is a New Model Blackhawk, 6 1/2" barrel, one piece Pachmeyer grips, a free-spinning pawl (allows you to rotate the cylinder in either direction), dehorned hammer & trigger guard and a 3 pound trigger with no creep.

Who figured this out? And how?

A condom lubricant designed for sex workers and gay men has become a popular acne cure among female Cambodians, women in the capital have said. Number One Plus, a water-based lubricant produced by health organization Population Services International (PSI), is an excellent cure for acne, 29-year-old vendor Tep Kemyoeurn told news agencies. "After I used it for three days, all of my acne dried up and went away," she said. "Many people believe in it," she added. Khen Vanny, 29, from Phnom Penh, said women of all ages have taken to using the lubricant to get rid of spots. "It is very effective. Some people don't believe in it but people who do really get a good result."

If she had a pistol tucked in her panties, I'd marry her

No doggie treat for you

uh oh

If you see this when you walk outside, turn your ass around, go back inside the house, crawl back in bed and pull the covers over your head.

Medicinal marijuana?

My ex-wife was undergoing a treatment for a chronic disease a couple of years ago and because the treatment gave her extreme nausea, she got a doctor's recommendation for medicinal marijuana.
Because the pot shops where she could get her weed was over in the Bay Area, she would go maybe once a month and pick up enough to last her until she felt up to making the 2 hour drive again.
She went up between Christmas and New Years and came back complaining that the higher grade stuff she wanted was sold out, in fact most of the weed at the shop was sold out. When I asked her why she said that it was because New Years Eve was only a day or so away.
What the fuck? People get sicker on New Years Eve?

May get a bit warm today

I can remember walking down the street in West Texas a few years ago on my way to get some breakfast and hearing a radio from the open door of a shop - "Good morning Listeners, it's 6:55 in the morning and 92 degrees."
And they wonder why West Texas is so sparesly populated.

My watchdog

Hey, he may not stop you from breaking in but he'll damned sure tell me what time you were there.............

Punkindog is my best bud. I got him about 15 years ago and was told that he was full blooded lab. As time passed I realized that he wasn't full blooded lab - he was too long legged, his ears were too long, he had a weird lope and he BAYED instead of barked. And then I remembered the Black and Tan Coonhound that was next door to the ranch where I got him.

Lately he's started collecting things that have my scent on them, putting them in a big pile and laying around them, almost like he's guarding them from the Evil Cats. It's gotten to the point that when I walk in from work I take off my work watch and hand it to him. He'll take it and just carry it around for a while before he drops it and goes looking for my hat, Copenhagen can, beer bottle or anything else I might have handled.

Don't screw with what works

I had one of my partners over the other day and he saw my reloading manual sitting on the coffee table and wanted to know why I was using an older edition - the one I use is Speer's #10, 1979.
I don't know what to tell you, Bro. I'm still using the loads I worked up back in '85, I'm still using the same powders, primers and bullets. The loads work perfectly for what I use them for, so why change?
Besides, I only load a few calibers and I know every bit of my reloading data by heart. The only reason the manual was out that day was because I was doing a little light reading the night before.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Doesn't sound so stupid to me

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.”
The wife responded, “Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

More stoner tunes

I don't know, right now I'm jamming to Nugent's "Stranglehold" and it seems like it's one of my all time favorites. But I've been lstening to this tune fpr what? 30 years or better? I can remember tripping on LSD & playing pine tree frisbee to this tune when I was a youngster.


I read in the paper today that Willie Nelson is 76 and his "little" sister Bobbie is 78.
Amazing. And they're still on the road, I saw them a couple of years ago myself in Stockton.
God Bless Texas.

Not real smart, are you. dear?

I'm thinking I would've taken the ride with the hardtop so I could've had bulletproof glass installed especially after getting that plate.

Even I have to admit this is cute

No comment, I am an Okie

Stoner tunes

I'm sorry, but the best southern rock song in the world has to be "Green Grass And High Tides" by the Outlaws. Fuck "Freebird", it just doesn't cut it.

Now you've just got to beat obesity

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Even hotter than Tickle Me Elmo

Why men shouldn't have action toys

Tore up from the floor up

Here ya go, Matt

Matt told me the other day that he'd like to see more pictures so I decided to oblige him. The only problem was that he didn't tell me what kind of photos he wanted so I posted a nice mixture so far. We have car pictures, fashion pictures, a medical graph, a cartoon and even a photo of a medical examination. Heavy shit, I know.
Anyways, enjoy the pictures, Matt. And if you have any you want posted just email them to me.

My last rectal exam

The Milkman? Mailman? Meter reader?

No explantion needed

Something tells me that this was in California

I think you flooded the engine, Bro

Of course they overlooked the grenade in her panties....

A California woman says she endured an embarrassing standoff with Transportation Safety Administration officials over her bra before a flight to visit her mother in Boston. Nancy Kates, who wore a underwire bra, thought the security check by a female TSA agent before JetBlue flight 472 at Oakland International Airport was too invasive."The woman touched my breast," Kates said, according to the report. "I said, 'You can't do that.' She said, 'We have to pat you down. I said, "You can't treat me as a criminal for wearing a bra.'"The agent's supervisor later told Kates that she could choose between a pat-down in a private room or not flying. Kates said the incident took 40 minutes, causing her to miss her flight. She arrived in Boston four hours late. Transportation Safety Administration spokesman Nico Melendez said security agents must "resolve an alarm" in all circumstances. "Unfortunately, we can't take a passenger's word for it."

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Tiny Cat

Don't even breathe......

Breaking news

This news just in: All of the Wal-Marts across Alabama sold out of ammunition as of yesterday. A reliable source said that one of the purchasers commented that while Russia may have invaded Georgia, they sure as hell ain't doin' that to Alabama .

Monday, August 25, 2008

Strange places I've woke up

Here's a short list of strange places I've woken up after a hard night's drinking.

1) In a Goodwill box

2) In the trunk of a car

3) Under a pool table

4) A Ladies restroom in the Capitol building

5) France (I started in Germany)

6) A cornfield

7) At the top of a 200 foot antennae tower

8) Work

9) My neighbor's bathtub

10) A cattle pen at a slaughterhouse

Did you notice that I never mentioned jail? Strangely enough, that's the one place I've never woken up in after drinking.

'Cause that's how I roll........

An odd lullabye

The air must be especially clear tonight - I can hear the trains all the way down by 9th Street, the rumbling and their whistles as the cars pick up speed on the way to who knows where.

I honestly can't remember ever not having lived within earshot of a train track. It never has bothered me to live near them either. I love the sound. It can be both the most lonesome and the most comforting sound in the world, at the same time. Many nights it's the last sound that I'm conscience of before I go to sleep.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Can't take my damned family anywhere

Hate to drink and run but...........

I was 86'd from the White Elephant in the mid-eighties, although I don't remember what for exactly. It must have have been good though, because I wandered in there about 5 years later to meet a friend and the bartender/owner took one look at me and then he picked up the phone and dialed 911.

Hey, don't come down on me, dumbass!

Winter, 1989
As I was washing my hands in the bathroom at work l looked in the mirror and saw a gray hair in my beard. Back then, I had so few gray hairs on my face I could still pluck them out without it turning into an all day job, so that's just what I did. As soon as I did it, I saw that Lester Lester the Child Molester had wandered in. "Hey Lester, do you know what this is?" I asked, handing him the hair.
"Nope, I can't say that I do" he grins, studying it up close.
"That, my friend, is my very first gray pubic hair."
"AAAAGGGGHHHH! You rotten bastard!" he yells as he throws the hair down and starts wiping his hands on his leg, trying to get the cooties off. "You're fucking sick, man. You rotten fucking bastard." He walked out of the bathroom pissing and moaning and still wiping his hands off on his coveralls.
Now, I gotta ask you. If we were in a bathroom and I tried to hand you a short curly hair, would you take it?

Stay off my side of the sidewalk

Summer, 1986
The first time we ever went to a 49er gun show was a trip. We were provisioned with a killer grade of cadillac green bud and several hundred dollars, so we set off for the big city. I had never driven to Sacramento before, much less Cal-Expo, and I was a tad intimidated. I mean they had freeways with 4 lanes in each direction, man! Dave, being from L.A. and a veteran of a BeeGees concert, wasn't impressed at all. I fell back on my tactic of getting stoned when I got to feeling uptight. Bad, bad mistake. The higher I got, the more lost I got. The more lost I got, the madder Dave got. The madder Dave got, the more uptight I got. The more uptight I got , the higher I got. You get the picture? By the time we got to the gun show, I bet I saw the State Capitol from 50 different angles, smoked a quarter ounce or so of bud, and got called nasty names at least a dozen times.

Daily rant

As long as I'm down on helping people move at the moment, let's just keep on rolling with it.

I cannot stand to help people move. Straight up fact. Another straight up fact is that if you don't help folks move they won't help you when it's your turn so I'll do it if asked, but I'll bitch and moan the whole time. If you want to bitch and moan when you come help ME move, that's cool. I understand.
I don't think I would mind helping if people already had the stuff boxed up and ready to load when I get there but that never happens. Shit, there's still dirty dishes in the sink and clothes in the washer half the time. Hey, you're only using me for my truck and my back, so let's have it ready so I can load this stuff up and get on down the road.
And speaking of trucks, why in the fuck is it that when you own a pickup folks you hardly know have no problem at all coming up and asking for your help to move? I had a bumper sticker once that read "Yes, this is my truck. No, I won't help you move."

About that moving thing......

A few weeks ago I had called Dad to see if he wanted to go up and do a little trout fishing and some shooting up in the Sierras this weekend. He called Thursday and left a message so when I called him back I was expecting to hear a time to meet up for the lip jerking/stump busting day. Instead I was told that he was helping my little brother move and what day this weekend was I going to help?
Well, hell. Not only do I not get to do 2 of my most favorite things but somehow I got screwed into doing one of my most hated.

Aw fuck

There's 3 things in this world I absolutely hate to do.
#1 - Go to court
#2 - Go to the Department of Motor Vehicles and
#3 - Help somebody move

I have to go do #3. I was trapped. More about this outrage later.

No competition

Recently I was asked to shoot in a charity match.
At first I said, “Naaahhh! I already shoot 4 or 5 times a week.”
Then they said to me, “Come on, it’s for handicapped and blind kids.”
Then I thought……Shit, I could win this.