Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Doin' my civic duty

Okay, today I had to report for jury duty. Now as anti-government as I am lately (since November, anyways) I know I should've told them to stick their jury duty up their ass, but I gotta tell you, I don't have a problem with serving on a jury. For one thing, a trial by jury is guaranteed by our Bill of Rights.
That's minor shit, though. The real reason I didn't try to get out of it is: My daily commute is 70 miles round trip, me leaving the house at 5 AM and getting home around 6 PM, and that's after running non-stop all fucking day. With jury duty, my boss pays me my full wage, my commute is 4 minutes, it's from 10 AM to 4 PM with an hour and a half for lunch. I sit on my ass all day and I get to fuck somebody - either the defendant or the District Attorney, I don't care which as long as I have a part in it.
I put on a long sleeved shirt, slicked back my hair, shaved and washed behind my ears then headed down to do my civic duty. I parked in my usual spot when I have to go downtown and reported in. I read my book and drank iced tea until noon, then walked the block and a half to my truck and found a fucking parking ticket under my wiper. What the fuck? And I noticed the car with the Obama sticker next to mine had one too. I looked to my left and noticed for the first time the new 1 hour parking sign. Then another one to my right. I didn't even notice them when I parked, and apparently the dummycrat next to me didn't notice them either.
I was a bit dismayed, but what can I say? I had my head up my ass, and I'll pay the 30 bucks. But there's no reason for both me and the idiot parked next to me to both have a fucked up day so I did him a favor, took the ticket off his windshield and threw it away. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.........
Anyways, I went back after lunch, found a different place to park, read for a while and then got picked for a jury. THEY ACTUALLY PICKED ME!!!!!! Dumbasses! Wait 'til I stroll in tomorrow in a T-shirt and a chew in my mouth smelling like tonight's beer.
So now, I'm off work until Tuesday or Wednesday of next week, get to sleep in 'til 7 in the morning and get to participate in a 12 way fucking. And there's a actually a couple of nice looking ladies my age on the jury, too.
Excuse me, my beer is getting warm.
-Juror #3