Okay, I don't know how the fuck this happened but somehow I've managed to pick up a spare Evil Cat.
Over the past couple of months, there's been this mangy white and black spotted cat hanging out around my front yard, napping in my weedbed, shitting in my ivy and generally being the vagrant lazy fucker I wish I could be.
I've tried running him/her off, chucking rocks at it, and kicking at it when I caught it lounging on my porch. Tonight when I headed out for a night of carousing and tomcatting (no pun intended) the stupid motherfucker actually came up and rubbed against my leg.
I hate cats.
So I fed it.