Thursday, December 17, 2009

Volkswagen Beetles

I tried to think of a snappy title for this post but couldn't so I'll just dive right in.
VW Beetles - I hate those motherfuckers. And it's not just the cars that I hate, I hate the idiotic people that drive them.
Mind you, I'm not talking about the bugs from the 60s and 70s. Those were tolerable. If you managed to get behind one you KNEW that you were stuck for a while because top speed was maybe 50 mph on level ground. If you happened to be behind it when it was going over an overpass or up a small hill, the speed dropped to 35 or so because of the anemic engines they had. You had to be sympathetic because you knew the driver of the bug was just as frustrated as you were. No big deal.
No, I'm talking about the newer ones. Why in the fuck is it that every goddamned person that drives one thinks they're driving a Porsche? I can be driving down the road doing a cool 20 mph over the speed limit and some fucking asshole in a VW comes tearing up behind me, passes me and then cuts back in front of me so close that I can't see their rear license plate. Fuck, I know the top speed on them can't be but maybe 90, so why do they think they have to drive it that fast all the time? And I know the handling characteristics can't be all that great because every rollover accident I've seen in the past year involved a VW on a gentle turn!
Dammit Ladies, slow the fuck down. You're driving a Volkswagon Beetle, not a fucking sports car!
And if you're not a women and you drive a Beetle......... Well, that's just fucking gay.


James said...

Ya got that one down, 'cutter!
Can't even see em out o my F250.

BillyBob said...

I like to imagine what it would be like to run over one with my '89 4x4 3/4 ton Suburban. Wouldn't be much left but a greasy spot.

Shay said...

Also can catagorize a lot of other little cars in that catagory.
Nice post!

YOLO said...

I would pick a PT Cruiser, what the heck are those things anyways???!

Anonymous said...

Same goes for those trendy fuckers that drive Mini-Coopers. Fuck them!

Ronsonic said...

Guys in the old beetles used to do that shit too. I'm thinking they rarely got the opportunity to pass anyone, so when they found themselves with a positive speed differential, like 0.4MPH they'd make their move.