Friday, March 12, 2010

CharlieGoddammit


A friend of mine called today and told me that his daughter had a dog she had to get rid of because she was moving. She had found the dog a couple of months ago and had been searching for his owner with no luck.
He also said the dog was 3 or 4 years old, well behaved and housebroken.
Wrong, wrong and wrong.
He's part Shepherd and judging by his tail and black mouth, part Chow. His name used to be Charlie but now it's CharlieGoddammit.
I went and got the dog and saw right off that it was 18 months old at the most. It was pulling on the leash but once I got it in the truck it settled right down and even let me drive. BUT, as soon as I got the sonofabitch in the house it went on a rampage, tearing around the house, squirted on the door, then chased the main evil cat right up to the top of the cabinet on the mud porch where she's still up there yowling.
He's also dripped water from his bowl all over the carpet, knocked over and drank a beer, ate a can of Copenhagen, stole a box of 308 Winchester, and farts continuously.
So basically I got a dog that drinks, chews, farts, is a pig, likes things that go bang and chases pussy.
Fuck, I got a dog with my personality......

13 comments:

Tom Stockton said...

Outstanding! I hope he learns your rules -- and that YOU are the alpha male -- quickly!!

wirecutter said...

Yeah, we're passively battling for control now.
He's not allowed to put his paws on me, no growling, and if he wants a beer, ask me, don't steal mine.

drjim said...

Good to hear you got another dawg!

Deb said...

A perfect match! Congrats on CharlieGoddammit! I just met a guy who named his dog D-O-G, and when he tells people the dog's name, they think it's some weird Chinese breed (Diogi).

orbitup said...

I would be worried about the .308 rounds he took. He might know what do do with them.

Lula said...

It's you in dog form!!!

wirecutter said...

Yes it is, Lula. And he's already drank a six pack.
No lie. He's crashed in the corner, waking up every half hour or so and growling at me. Damn, I can't stand a mean drunk.....

YOLO said...

after taking the ammo, i'd be very afraid of his farts!! congrats on the dog ken, you should teach him to box, then you two could duke it out nightly lol

Anonymous said...

Nothing that can't be solved with a fresh box of 308.

cbullitt said...

Well, in that case, you'd better lock up all the bacon.

BTW, there's a new collection of Spassfabrik babes.

Anonymous said...

Admit it!
You just got lucky!
Paul in Texas

stevienatt said...

Damn. If I could find me a woman with all of those fine qualities.

Say what said...

Best dog we ever had was a shepherd/chow cross named "porkchop". Extremely intelligent and loyal, with quite a protective streak.....but they take a while to learn that YOU are boss.....good luck!