Wednesday, July 28, 2010

CharlieGodammit

Okay, check this shit out.
I've gotten several emails about CharlieGodammit over the past few weeks wanting to know more about him, how he got his name, etc.
For those that have been reading my blog, you know that I put my Punkindog down back at the beginning of the year. Fuck, that damned near killed me. I had him for 16 years and he was my very best friend. I missed him SO damned much.
After a few months of mourning and not having to clean up dogshit, I got to thinking about a new dog. But I wanted an older dog, a mellow dog, something that took a lot of naps. Just like me.....
A friend called me and said that his daughter had a dog she needed to get rid of because she was moving. To make a long story short, I called her and asked if I could come meet the dog to see if we got along. I went over, she shoved the dog out the door, said his name was Charlie or Jim, take my pick - he doesn't answer to nothing, said the motherfucker was wild, and slammed the door.
I had a dog.
She wasn't lying. He was completely feral. He was people shy, truck shy, everything to do with people shy.
I got him home and turned him loose. It was apparent though, that while he was wild then, he had some contact with humans and other animals.
He loves kids, is social with other dogs, gets out of the truck on the sidewalk side only, and respects a fence. Fuck, that's good enough for me. It's a good start, ya know?
I tried calling him Jim, I tried calling him Charlie but neither one worked. So I cracked open a beer and started thinking. The motherfucker immediately knocked it over and started lapping it up. The first words out of my mouth were "Charlie!!!! GOD DAMMIT!!!!!"
Then after the 3rd or 4th beer I dropped it down to CharlieGodammit.
And so it's been ever since.

Okay, he's quit drinking after I filled a can with lemon juice concentrate and left the room. And no, he's he's not a mellow dog. No, he's not older - 18 months at the most.

I started wondering what kind of dog the motherfucker was. He looks almost like a Husky but not. So a couple of weeks ago, I went to http://www.akc.org/ and started looking through the pictures of breeds and finally figured out he's mostly Buhund (Norwegian Farm Dog) and Husky. Buhund because of his characteristics and that fucking tail of his and Husky because of his howling and facial markings.

A week or so ago, I got to thinking that CharlieGodammit is EXACTLY the opposite of the kind of dog I wanted and maybe I should start looking for somebody to give him a good home. Hey, he's excitable, he's young and he grabs my nuts when he wants attention. But being the lazy motherfucker I am, I put it off.

Night before last, he growled. No big thing, I heard my pyscho neighbors' daughter outside, so I thought maybe she was in the yard. Then Bruce (her dad) hollered "Hey Ken!!!" and jumped up on the front porch. Charlie hit that fucking security door so hard it actually bowed out, Bruce ran into the front yard, and I about pissed my pants laughing so hard. A few minutes later, I put Charlie on a leash and took him over to Bruces' place where he loved on his grandkids and let Bruce pet him. No threat, unless you're in his yard or trying to get in the house.
Okay, we still have issues. I don't know why I have a laundry basket. I put clothes in, he takes 'em out.
I have to walk him every night, but I actually can now without him yanking me everywhere.
He loves to chew shit up, but now I buy him rawhide bones.
There's about a million other things that I don't have time for now on account I'm getting buzzed and I could go on and on.
But the thing I love most about that motherfucker is coffee time. Every morning I ask if he's ready for coffe and he jumps on the bed, lays down and waits for me. That's when I get some serious loving from him and he gets a nut-rubbing.
That's my CharlieGodammit.