Some sorry-ass bitch motherfucking thief stole the flag off my front porch last night. The last time that happened was right after 9/11 when the stores were sold out, luckily I had a spare or three on hand back then.
You know what? You want a flag but can't afford one, come knock on my door. If I don't have one handy, I will go buy you one. Really I will. But if I catch you stealing mine I will fuck you up. Then I'll give it to you, but you gotta ask if it was worth the asswhipping or not.