Monday, October 18, 2010

CSED

Let's go back about 10-12 years.
I was unhappily married, had 2 dogs - Punkindog, Hillary Clinton (what else are you gonna name a fat li'l yella haired bitch?) a pair of Evil Cats and a cockatiel whose entire vocabulary consisted of "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"
Yeah. Life was real good.
So I'm sitting in my chair rolling up a fattie when Hillary goes trotting past looking real guilty.
"Godammit, Hill! How many times have I told you about that?" I holler as I bounce a 41 magnum round off her side.
She rolls over looking sufficiently guilty until my old lady comes in, then she runs over to her hoping for some loving, which N gives her.
"Don't let her kiss you, you know she's a CSED" I warned.
N is holding the Hill, letting her lick her face all over. "Oh, yes she is! She's a CSED, huh? And what a cute little CSED she is! I loves my little CSED! Yes I do!!!"
Fuck it. I warned her.
"Was Kenny mean to the CSED? Huh?" Hillary was loving all the attention, licking N on the lips, ears, and doing the most irritating thing in the world, sticking that fucking terrier tongue up her nose. I hated it when she did that to me.
Then she asks (finally) "What's a CSED?"
I licked the glue on the rolling paper and sealed the joint, popped in my my mouth and lit it, took a real deep toke and replied:
"A Cat Shit Eatin' Dog."

4 comments:

Foodstamps said...

What kind of Terrier? We's got us a Wheaten.

wirecutter said...

Fuck, who knows. Part chihuahua and some sort of rat terrier.
But she was a bad-ass dog, I'll never forget the day she beat the fuck out of that boxer from underneath.......

Jumblerant said...

Lovin' it!! Sadly can't share the story on my blog as I'm too yellerspined and can't tell anyone at work as I only started my new job on Monday!!

Thanks for brightening my day though...

Bella said...

If I had done half the good shit that you've done, and remember, I would have been so proud. Ah, fond memories of the ex. This is good!