Monday, October 18, 2010

CSED

Let's go back about 10-12 years.
I was unhappily married, had 2 dogs - Punkindog, Hillary Clinton (what else are you gonna name a fat li'l yella haired bitch?) a pair of Evil Cats and a cockatiel whose entire vocabulary consisted of "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"
Yeah. Life was real good.
So I'm sitting in my chair rolling up a fattie when Hillary goes trotting past looking real guilty.
"Godammit, Hill! How many times have I told you about that?" I holler as I bounce a 41 magnum round off her side.
She rolls over looking sufficiently guilty until my old lady comes in, then she runs over to her hoping for some loving, which N gives her.
"Don't let her kiss you, you know she's a CSED" I warned.
N is holding the Hill, letting her lick her face all over. "Oh, yes she is! She's a CSED, huh? And what a cute little CSED she is! I loves my little CSED! Yes I do!!!"
Fuck it. I warned her.
"Was Kenny mean to the CSED? Huh?" Hillary was loving all the attention, licking N on the lips, ears, and doing the most irritating thing in the world, sticking that fucking terrier tongue up her nose. I hated it when she did that to me.
Then she asks (finally) "What's a CSED?"
I licked the glue on the rolling paper and sealed the joint, popped in my my mouth and lit it, took a real deep toke and replied:
"A Cat Shit Eatin' Dog."