Sunday, October 03, 2010

Quitting Copenhagen

You know, it's the habits that are connected to the habits that make quitting hard. Taking my latest for example (Copenhagen), popping in a chew right after a meal, right after climbing in the truck, during coffee time but worst of all, when I'm watching TV and that was a ritual in itself.
Okay, after the meal was easy. Take a shot of lemon juice when I finished my meal. you don't even want to eat pussy after that shit, much less a chew. Everything tastes sour after lemon juice.
The truck? the cure there was either walk or pop in some gum. Light shit.
Coffee time was and still is hard. What I had to do was break up the coffee habit. During the week I would wait until later than usual (even if it was 15 minutes) before my first cup. During the weekend was harder. I truly enjoyed laying in bed, even if it was 4 AM, and drinking my first cup. I had to force myself to get up and either drink it in my Camoflauge BassPro Easy Chair or go outside and drink it in the pre-dawn morning which to be honest with you, I enjoy a hell of a lot more. Seriously.
The toughest? When I was doing nothing but watching TV and that's because of a simple ritual. I'd pick up my can with my left hand from the gun/redneck magazine/chew/beer table, toss it to my right hand without even thinking about it, pack it down and grab a chew without looking. How did I get over that?
Easy. I started drinking heavily. I started tossing beer cans instead. No shit, that really works. I get so fucked up at night I sleep either in my Camoflauged BassPro Easy Chair or barely in my bed which is less than 10 feet away. Sometimes I crash in between them. Fuck, I even keep a blanket between the living room and bedroom door. Even CharlieGodammit knows to curl up with me on frigid nights when it gets below 80 degrees. The Evil Cat water dish is 3 feet away in case I need to puke - fuck them Evil Cats.
No shit, I haven't been to bed sober in 6 weeks and 2 days but you know what? Neither me nor Deb has had a chew since. I just hope shes' had an easier time at it.
Motherfuckers, I'm a ragin' alcoholic but at least I don't chew anymore.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

No way...I cant quit...I'll quit drinkin..they aint takin my cope..no way, no how...you got great big brass balls wirecutter - Jim

wirecutter said...

I know. It killed me. If I could've continued to chew without horrendous hiccups and hearburn so bad I thought I was having a fucking heart attack..... Fuck, now I'm wondering if it was just a passing thing and maybe I can chew occasionally...... No, NO NO!!!!!!
Fucker, you're killing me here. It's a good thing I'm WAY too drunk to drive.

Anonymous said...

easy cutter...I put down the booze, wasnt no pic-nic either...still finda buzz of some sort every now and then though..but my cope is my cope...it aint going nowheres. - Jim

Anonymous said...

and btw I'm the Jim with the Bruno and the helo-pad penguin and the steehead..just so ya knows.....later gater

YOLO said...

ummm... congrats??!
friday was my 3 yr anniversary of quitting smoking, am i happy i quit? no, but after yrs of smoking and a nasty bout with double pneumonia, the scars in my lungs convinced me. You can do it, stick with it, i became addicted to altoids!

Deb said...

It hasn't been easy, but at least my computer monitor and rug are cleaner since I no longer need to spit as frequently.

I too have taken to drinking. I've discovered Shipyard Pumpkinhead ale and now I think I might be developing a problem. I'm up to 1/2 a bottle 3 out of 7 nights a week. Scary.