Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Site hits

I'm sorry but I gotta share this. I think it funnier than hell.
Lately I've been tracking hits to my site (quit tripping) so I can see where my visitors are from and what attracts them to my literary masterpiece. Seriously, it's to make your visit more enjoyable.
If it's a stateside hit, I get a town and state and a referral, usually Google with search words ranging from Dogs to babes to White Trash - generally what you'd expect from my caliber of readers. And a huge amount of you are return readers. This is good for me. I go no further, this is all I want to know.
For an overseas hit, I get the same info but I dig a little deeper.
I've found that I get a shitload of hits from all over the mid and near east. This gets my curiosity up. Is this because of my "Fuck Mohammad" remarks? Am I finally getting a fatwa that I feel I truly deserve? Is some mad arab gonna look me up to behead me and try to buttfuck Charliegodammit?
Invariably the search word or entry page is "Camel-toe" (From an arab? Imagine that!), there's a lengthy stay on the site and it ALWAYS is about the Babes, Skanks or Camel-toe categories.
So much for the "devout" muslim.
Maybe I should add a goat child category. My muslim hits will skyrocket. Maybe Obama bin Laden himself will comment.
Fuck, I'm gonna run with this. I hit a fair amount of livestock auctions and I do see some fairly sexy (to Achmed and the Boys) goats and sheep now and again.


ibeam said...

Love it, dude! Too f*cking funny...

Bunk Strutts said...

Tracking is fun. There's a widgit that you can plug into you side bar that shows who's viewing your site in real time, and keeps a running graphic tally on a map or globe. Google "revolver maps."

No, I'm not shilling for 'em. I just get a kick out of seeing all the corners of the world that click on my site regularly. --Bunk

PatAZ said...

CGD might not take kindly to that kind of treatment. lol

rpm2day said...

Draw your version of the fucker, that should do it!

wirecutter said...

Yeah, Pat. I don't think CGD will go for that.

RPM, it'll ne nothing but jizz and bacon. Maybe I should photograph it instead.

rpm2day said...

I'm drinking too many Fat Tires to think of a decent response. The dog is chewing on my ankle for her walk-I'm out.
Fuck Mo