Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Bless you, my son

Hey, we all work with religious folks, right? Whether they be Christian, Jew, muslim, Hindu, whatever, we all have somebody that immediately pops into our minds. It may be because they attempt to live a Better Way, maybe because they belong to some weird-ass cult, maybe because they've tried to talk to you about their faith.
Whatever. That's light shit, man. Let me tell you about our Jesus freak at work.
This motherfucker is fruitloops. He has this crazed look in his eye and weird little smile and eat, breathes, and sleeps his Lord Jesus. Every conversation revolves around Jesus. He will approach you at work and start preaching. He came up to me once and with fucking tears in his eyes told me that Jesus loves me. I told him to get the fuck out of my way. Short conversation.....
Anyways, he leaves work and stands on corners waving signs urging you to repent. No shit. People have seen him.
He wears T-shirts with messages like REPENT OR PERISH in huge capital letters. Makes me feel like I'm being yelled at.
He likes to jump up at the end of union meetings and start preaching.
He prays out loud while he's taking a dump. That seems kinda disrespectful to me.
He goes to concerts like Metallica and Ozzy - not for the show but to stand in front of the venue with a megaphone telling people that they're going to hell.
Get the picture? If not, check out what the motherfucker drives........

I'm telling you, this dude is extreme. This is the guy you'd expect to nut up at work and kill 8 Mexicans, 1 white guy and a mullato which is pretty much the racial balance there.
He is so devout that if this fucker was muslim, he'd be jihading the dogshit out of everybody. He'd be the masked man holding up a severed head, he'd be the one flying airplanes into shit, he'd be the suicide bomber at a day care.