Friday, April 02, 2010

Busch, Bush. Tomato, Potato

The warehouse that I work at gives us gift cards for the supermarket that we service. Now this store is kinda sorta upscale (read that expensive) so I normally don't shop there until I accumulate about a hundred bucks worth of gift cards.
So today I decided to go shopping. I needed various and sundry items including beer, dogfood and a healthy supply of rawhide bones for CharlieGoddammit to gnaw on instead of my fucking arm.
Now because this store caters to customers that are a bit more sophisticated than Poor White Trash, whenever I go there I tend to dress down, so I put on the pants and coat that I was wearing yesterday - just a tad dirty from reclining in a tractor rut while attempting to call in coyotes. Besides, I haven't done laundry and didn't have any clean pants. I'll be fucked if I'm going to do laundry just to go shopping.
Okay. I get in the store and am loaded down with 30 cans of dogfood, a weeks' supply of rawhide bones and my own shit and head over to get some beer. When I get to the beer aisle, there's a cutie in there stocking the shelves.
Oooh, a victim!
She sees me standing there scanning the shelves for my favorite brand and comes over to offer assistance,
"Can I help you find something, sir?"
"Yeah, you sure can. You got any Busch?"
It takes a second for it to sink in. Then her smile falters and she clamps her legs together so tight she cuts off the circulation to her feet.
"I-I-I'm sorry? Do I have bush?" She's stuttering, stammering and turning the cutest shade of red.
"Yeah. Busch. You got Busch?"
"I beg your pardon?" She don't know whether to run or what. My God, she's being confronted by a sex offender right here at work.
"Busch Beer. Do you have any Busch Beer?"
"Oh! Busch BEER! Beer! I understand now. No, I'm sorry. We don't carry that brand."
Jeez, these kids nowadays need to get their minds out of the gutter.
And I need to find another store to shop at. If they don't carry Busch, they don't need me as a customer, gift cards or not.

The Warrior Song

Copy and paste the link below for an ass-kicking video.
Thanks Jim, for passing this along.

Video post problems

Okay, for some reason when I've tried to post a video lately I get about half the screen. I don't know what the problem is but I'm working on it.

Coyote hunting (not shooting)

Well, we got out there and set up about an hour before dusk, about a hundred yards from the treeline bordering the creek.
While heading out to our spot, we were checking the tracks that were all over the place. They were plentiful, they were huge, and there was a nice spread in the stride.
Once we got set up, I commenced to calling and...... nothing. Not a fucking thing. I could make excuses like the wind swirling our scent along the creek, moonrise not being until 12:30 AM, gunfire a quarter mile off, I got Copenhagen in my call, but the fact is that they would only be excuses. I just couldn't call them up.
I'll be back another day.

Say what????

This idiot talks about a island tipping over just past the 1 min. mark. Very sad and don't forget that he votes and shoved health care up our ass. Makes one want to cry.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Fun fun fun

I went out the other day and checked out Debbie and Willie's property for their coyote problem. I was hoping to give my hot-rod 22-250 a work-out, but their landlord had come in and taken out a few acres of walnut trees which exposed a few ranch houses about a quarter mile away, so that put an end to that.
But in my favor, he piled up those trees in 3 huge piles up at the top of the property, so there's that for cover with a nicely sloping field of about 150 yards down to the creek with no obstructions.
Debbie said there's a pack of at least 6 coming from downriver and when I was down there poking around I saw a shitload of tracks, at least one of them belonging to a huge coyote.
So it looks like it's going to be shotgun work. I figure to set up at one of those tree piles with Pops downslope at my 10 o'clock, about halfway to the creek. I'll do the calling and give Pops the first shot. If there's 2 or more coming, I'll take the coyote to the right.
We're going out Thursday evening, hopefully get a couple, then come back the week following and clean it up some more.
What's really cool about this is that it's 20 minutes from my house. I can eat dinner, go thump some coyotes and be back in time to watch Les Johnson do the same on Predator Quest.

Your day's comin', Sweetpea.

Stolen from Curtis Lowe

She's got bigger balls than me

Woody reminded me that I had a hornet problem and was wanting to know how it turned out. I thought I'd share it because not only did I get called a pussy by a little 21 year old girl that doesn't weigh 100 pounds unless she's got rocks in her pockets, but I learned how to deal with hornets in the future.

I heard my psycho neighbor puttering around in his backyard and hollered at him, just to let him know that I was fixing to wreak death and destruction on that hornet's nest that evening and it might be a good idea to bring his dog in and keep the windows and door shut. His daughter Missy was back there too and asked if she could do it for me.
"Yeah, right" I said. "Knock yourself out. It'll be dark soon."
"Shit, I'll do it right now. Get me a some gas and a shovel, I'll be right there."
A couple of minutes later she came charging into my backyard with one of them super-soaker squirt guns and aimed it right at the nest. Not only was she going to squirt that hornets' nest with a squirt gun, but she was going to do it in cut-offs and a tit top.
Fuck that, I took off for the house.
"Hey, get back here, ya big pussy. You might learn something," she says.
"Oh, hell no! I can learn from inside," says the smart one in the crowd.
She took aim, gave it a healthy squirt, picked up the shovel and knocked it to the ground, then doused it with gas and lit 'er off.
"What in the fuck did you hit it with, pure DDT?" I asked, still keeping a healthy distance.
"Uh-uh. It's a 50-50 cut of dish soap and water. Once they get that shit on 'em, they can't fly. You get any more hornets' nest or vicious dogs or mean kitty cats, give me a call. I'll take care of 'em for you, Big Boy."
Yes ma'am.

Is this your car, Deb?

That is a Maine plate, right?
-Thanks, Yolo.

Sean, you're an idiot. Maria, YOU ROCK!

May I intoduce Maria Conchita Alonso?
Here we have an actress that see's bullshit for what it is and isn't afraid to tell the world.

Dear Sean, WHY?

Even though I have great respect for your artistic talent, I was appalled by a recent television interview where you vigorously showed support for the regime of Hugo Chavez. Therefore, I've decided to set the record straight for you regarding the Chavez regime, supporting my case based not only on my political ideologies, but on proven facts you choose to ignore. Otherwise, I believe your position would be different.

Being born in Cuba, a country where freedom of speech is non-existent, it's startling to observe how Venezuela, where I was happily raised, is fast becoming Cuba's mirror image: Dismantling of fundamental democratic rights deserved by its people and citizens of the world.

For example, you said that all Chavez-winning elections in Venezuela were "transparent."

Then WHY didn't the government allow a manual recount of the votes and computer information when doubt set in? After all, how do you explain how these votes that were strongly favoring the opposition mysteriously reflected the opposite results the morning after, thus permitting Chavez to continue on? On what are you basing your conclusions? I strongly recommend that you read a report by the U.S. State Department written in 2009 entitled "The Fraudulent Elections in Venezuela".

We live in a Republic comprised of three autonomous branches of government: Supreme Court, Congress and Executive, thus, a true democracy.

Then WHY do you accept violations by part of the government of Venezuela to ignore its Constitution whereby one man, military-educated Chavez, controls all branches of government? His military background is revealed by his philosophy: "I order, you obey and if you disagree you're a traitor to the country." And your voice is silenced along with the ability of freethinking. Did you know solely the government controls 92% of media communications?

You've strongly criticized your own governments' overspending and corruption, whereby the budget for We the people never ends up in the hands of those who need it most.

Then WHY do you support a government with over $100 million in oil revenue that has 71% poverty? Or don't you know that corruption is so rampant that the rightfully deserving poor never sees a "red cent"? In addition, the fact is that Chavez gives away millions of dollars; belonging to the Venezuelan people, to other countries in order to build a false sense of philanthropy of a man whose self-proclaiming ego is blinded by power behind a communist Cuban-style revolution, expanding such regime.

We live in the U.S.A., the land of opportunity to do and say what we desire, respecting dissenting points of view, of course and without reprisals.

Then WHY do you defend a government whose stronghold upon its people is so oppressive that a big price is paid for exercising freedom of speech: Persecutions, closing of radio and television stations, jail...and even death?

You are fortunate enough to live in a country where you can buy property and claim it as your own to do whatever you want with it.

Then WHY do you promote the interests of a government that violates the Constitution by hindering the possibility of development: Land, industries, commerce, communications companies, foreign investment opportunities, financial institutions and private property? This is an everyday scenario in Venezuela.

Then WHY haven't you informed yourself on these facts by reading Venezuelan and international newspapers exposing thousands of cases?

Given your sense of community and respect for all people, I think you would defend the security of the citizens in your country.

Then WHY do you validate a government that has converted Venezuela into the second most dangerous country in the world, where impunity is above 90% and its people live in a constant state of stress and fear of getting killed? Many wonder if this situation isn't but a diabolic strategy by the part of the government, something to think about. Do you know that the weekend of March 13th there were 67 counted homicides only in Caracas? Furthermore, in the first 50 days of this year, there have been 140 express kidnappings for fast money (a 50% increase in 2009 versus previous years). After 11 years of the Chavez government, more than 16,000 people has been murdered by armed gangs and we're not even at war like in the Middle East.

In the U.S.A. the arm of the law comes down hard on government or private sector where cases of fraud and corruption are discovered.

Then WHY do you defend a politician who promised to sweep corruption, but has ended up sponsoring illicit enrichment by part of his closest allies and civil servants, placing Venezuela as the most corrupt country in the Americas and in its political history? Corruption has increased 68% and inflation 31% in 2009. What a coincidence, Sean that the majority of those "corruptors" are members of the government you have chosen to embrace.

You've demonstrated admirable assistance to those in need, due to natural disasters or poverty, those with desperate pleas to get their misfortune exposed for the whole world to see.

Then WHY do you applaud the efforts of a government that has notoriously increased poverty (65% to 71%), produced scarcity of staple products and created an energy and water shortage crisis never seen in Venezuela? Not to mention the numbers of children begging in the streets. You may have missed it because the government tends to take the scenic routes for its guests. I invite you see the real Venezuela, stay for a couple of weeks without the logistics the government of said country organizes for you and you'll be amazed with the results in your unaided observations.

Sean, you live in a country where your parents had the freedom to teach you principles and respect for entities and human beings, where education hasn't been manipulated by political agendas of those in power.

Then WHY are you in favor of a country where day after day education isn't plural by obligating a single-minded agenda and lack of respect for family structure? Did you know Sean that in Venezuela there is political indoctrination at a very early age, better known as "brainwashing"? And let me tell you that if parents don't agree, they will lose custody of their children, just like in Cuba, a country you've placed on a pedestal.

You are a product of a Jewish father.

Then WHY is your fascination with a government that has overtly stated its hatred against the Jewish community worldwide, to the extent that the State of Israel condemned anti-Semitic attacks in Venezuela? Do you think it's fair that many Jewish-Venezuelan families have emigrated because the Chavez government robbed their personal files when their temples and offices were under attacked in 2008?

I don't think so, Sean, that you would support violence as a means to impose your agenda.

Then WHY do you support a government with close relationships with FARC, ETA, Cuban G-2, Government of Iran, Al-Qaeda and Hezbollah, among others, which are the most feared terrorist movements in the world?

You have said that you applaud the actions that Chavez has instituted for his "pueblo".

Then WHY do you back him up when he himself has recently publicly recognized his failure for effective social programs (missions) in the areas of education, social service and hospitals; where each day the number of the uncared rises for lack of appropriate facilities and respective upkeep, and a country where the mothers give birth in the streets? This you can see on YouTube in investigative programs run on German, Swedish, Italian and Spanish television stations.

Sean, have you considered researching the existence of the growing list of political prisoners, including journalists, on your own? For your information Chile, Peru and Costa Rica has that data. Furthermore, many of these prisoners are tortured and their families persecuted and threatened, just like the Cuba you stand up for.

Is that what you support when you publicly declare that all those that say that Chavez is a dictator should go to jail?

Sean, you have the right to say what you want, but as far as I know, your statements are contradictory to "Freedom of Speech", the same one you enjoy in this country; by coincidence, "The First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America."

My intention isn't to convince you, but to let you know what is truly happening in this beautiful country of noble people, Venezuela. I would encourage you to investigate in depth the "inside story" and realize for yourself the dark side behind the person you choose to idolize.

Agreed, Chavez did win his first elections, but like Hitler, he betrayed what the country gave him: The vote of confidence

Read more:

Please don't breed!

Actually, I don't think there's a whole lot of danger in him passing on his genes......

Meet Scott, folks.

Scott is a fashion nut as you can tell by his hat.
When we were working together (not literally, Scott doesn't put a whole lot of effort into that) a week or so ago, I got this picture of him in his taco-holder.
"Hey man, don't post my picture on Facebook. My wife will have a fit when she sees my lip full of Copenhagen."
She'll be upset over his chewing but not about him wearing that stupid fucking hat in public?

A couple of months ago he was popping pain pills for his shoulder. As soon as they started taking effect, he'd make stupid-ass mistakes and disappear for an hour at a time. He swear they didn't affect him at all, just help with the pain, then he'd wander off and go stare into a trash can for the next 15 minutes or so.

Monday, March 29, 2010

So this is why I don't have a full time sweetie

I ain't heard of half these babes.
I still think my dating tips are better.

Check out the relationship and dating advice you can use from these otherwise distracting celebrity ladies. Now stop staring and go be a better man.
Stolen from Yahoo!

1. Christina Applegate
"Call us back right away. That 'three day' business does not apply. We're getting older, and we don't have time to screw around. Wait too long and we'll lose interest. Trust me on this one."
More From Esquire:

2. Courtney Cox
"We pay closer attention to your hands than you think. It's bad enough if you don't have manly hands, but if your nails are longer than ours, forget it."

3. Padma Lakshmi
"Some of us prefer boxing to yoga. None of us actually likes Pilates."

4. Alyssa Milano
"Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it's a genderwide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my ten-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Bertha. On a really bad day, Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Brian Dennehy."

5. Poppy Montgomery
"When considering whether or not to ask out the girl you're afraid to talk to, keep this in mind: No matter who you are or what you look like, it's always flattering when you hit on us. Always."

6. Tea Leoni
"Supersecret: Unless we're blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you."

7. Mariska Hargitay
"We love the fact that it takes you only twelve minutes to get ready for anything, be it a black tie [event] or a basketball game. When it takes longer than that... what are you doing in there?"
"We are all about our necks. Feel free to spend as much time there as you wish."

8. Emily Deschanel
"Even if we've only been dating a few weeks, don't introduce us as your 'lady friend' -- or that's exactly what we'll become."

9. Jenna Fischer
"If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble."

10. Julie Delpy
"We need you to be reachable at all times, but we don't always pick up our phones when you call. We realize this seems like a double standard; if you'd like to discuss it further, just leave a message."

11. Maria Bello
"We're afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we're not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models."

12. Kyra Sedgwick
"Our friends are not your enemies, and our enemies better not be your friends."