A redneck buddy of mine from work, originally from South Dakota, was scraping the bottom of his Copenhagen can Wednesday as we were talking. Roger was forever trying to quit chewing and was still half pissed because I managed to do it without too much problem.
"Welp. This is it, I'm givin' it up for Lent."
"Yeah, right. Besides, you gotta be Catholic to give something up for Lent" I said.
"I am Catholic" he says.
Okay, you know those things that pop into your head and out of your mouth before you even know it?
"YEAH? DID YOU GET BUTTFUCKED?"
He blew out his last chew, wasting it. "Wha.....? No, godammit, I was 31 years old, converted over to get my wife to marry......."
"THAT AIN'T WHAT I WAS ASKIN', MAN. DID YOU GET BUTTFUCKED?"
He just shook his head and walked off to bum a chew from Raudel, muttering something about why even bothering something something something.