Friday, May 20, 2011

CharlieGodammit

CharlieGodammit has a new thrill that while it pisses me off, I'm resigned to it.
Okay. While I'm in the shower, I leave my back door open. I know I'm vulnerable when I'm bathing and the water's running and I can't hear shit (shades of "Psycho" all over again) and I count on my wolfdog to protect me, but that motherfucker has also shit in the house when I couldn't hear him woof to let him out, so I leave the door open so he can let himself out, but still protect me when I'm nekkid and soaping up my nasty parts over and over again.
But the last few days, I can hear him thundering from the door into the bedroom where he leaps onto the bed and skids to a stop again and again and again.
By the time I get out, that 100+ pound motherfucker has wrecked my bed. I mean, my mattress is on the floor, the bedding is tangled, pillows are scattered and that sumbitch is sitting on top of the wreckage grinning at me saying "Hey, let's go for a walk, fucker."
I hate that damned dog sometimes.

4 comments:

PISSED said...

You gotta Get Charliegoddamit some of this gear:

http://defensetech.org/2011/05/19/the-badass-gear-dog-on-the-bin-laden-raid-wore/

cbeck said...

Laughing out loud for sure. I think our dogs are related. Although he's too small to move a matress, he does enjoy leaping onto the coffee table and sliding off the other side along with whatever else might have been up there. Also, the only place in the house he deems suitable for a good vomit is right on top of the persian rug. 4 different rooms wall to wall of cheap plush polyester and he's gotta go for the rug every - freaking - time. That last sentence of yours sums my feelings up very well.

wirecutter said...

Cbeck - I can just picture your dog using the coffee table as a slip-n-slide.......
And I know the puke thing - I can hear CGD start to puke and look over and it's right in the middle of the living room. And the sonofabitch stiffens up so I can't move him. The best I can hope for is to grab a newspaper and shove it under his nose and pray he don't puke on my hand in the process.

wirecutter said...

PISSED - Oh HELL no! I'll be insome serious trouble once he figures out I can't hurt him.