Monday, July 04, 2011

I'm hers. It's true.

So I was on vacation last week which was a bit of a surprise to me - I thought I was off the week after the 4th, not the week before which really fucked up my plans - I caught the 1st Quarter moon instead of the Full moon on the 14th. Don't ask me why I scheduled my vacation that way, I must've been hungover or something that day.
But it really threw a wrench in my coyote hunting.

No big deal. I've got a new sweetie in my life and it turned out to be the best mistake of my life (the vacation, not Lisa).
She came over on that Friday and stayed until this past Sunday and it was great. We got a chance to get to know each other r-e-a-l good. I mean, we met and then had a few hours here and there and a couple of weekends, but nothing to where we seriously got to know each others' ways and habits, you know?
I'm the kind of person that if we're around each other more than about an hour, you're gonna get on my fucking nerves (Mile Hi can attest to that, we used to commute together) but with Lisa, every minute was a pleasure and no, I'm not saying that just because she'll read this.
Okay, I'm at an age where intimacy is not the deciding factor in a relationship. A big part,  yes, but not a killer. What I'm more interested in are things like sense of humor, compatibility, intelligence, is she high maintenance, does my wolfdog like her, can I keep a Justice shed in the backyard, and can she fucking cook.
She passed on everything the first 2 dates we had except the cooking. Sure, she made her brags but now she had her chance.
I asked her if she could make cream gravy. If she fucked up a simple thing like that, it was done, fini, over. She told me that her cream gravy was "orgasmic." Yeah, right. We'll see.
She wasn't lying.
Let me say that I have had cream gravy (country gravy for you non-okies) all my life. I am a connoisseur of fine cream gravy at the finest truck stops everywhere. But as I was relaxing in my BassPro Camouflage Easy Chair one morning last week, she came into the living room with a spoonful of her gravy and I almost busted a fucking nut on the spot. Oh. My. God. It was fucking great.
And not only was her gravy outrageous, so was everything else she cooked. I swear, I gained another 10 pounds this past week.
And she has other great qualities as well - she gives me my alone time, she cleans house when she's bored (really!) she wants to learn to shoot, CGD loves her to pieces, she finally let me beat her ass at backgammon and last but absolutely not least, she wasn't on my ass about a day in San Francisco the whole time I was on vacation.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot - when we went to Bridgeport (150 miles away over Sonora Pass) for lunch I was harassing her and said something about dumping her there and throwing her her clothes on her front lawn. You know what she objected to about that? Me putting our business on the street. Seriously. How fucking cool is that?

So yeah, my vacation was a mistake - I didn't kill a single coyote but I wouldn't trade it off for the world.