Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Rick can't even take a dump in peace

I was headed towards a bathroom to send my sweetie a quick text - we're not allowed to use cell phones in the warehouse - when I saw my partner Ricks' towmoter parked outside the bathroom.
Fuck, what timing.
I strolled on in, whipped out my phone, stuck my hand over the top of the stall and took a picture of Rick sitting on the toilet taking a shit and texting HIS sweetie.
"Hey.... What the.... MotherFUCKER!!!!!!"
It was hilarious imagining him trying to wipe his ass, pull up his pants and text all at the same time.  I was still laughing my ass off when he came out of the bathroom pissed as hell. "Who in the hell takes a picture of somebody taking a shit?"
I just shrugged and grinned. No sense in lying and denying, so I might as well cop to it and dare him to do something about it.
After several minutes of threats, I got far enough away from him to where I could check the picture and saw a blurry mess so I deleted it out, then went and told every English speaking motherfucker in the warehouse, all 12 of them, that I took a picture of Rick taking a shit just to fuck with him.
It worked. He got laughed at all day long and still hasn't spoken to me.

He was lucky today. Usually when I catch him on the toilet I sneak out and get a roll of 4-ply TP, then soak it in cold water to where it's just a soggy mess, walk back about 10 feet away and then throw it as hard as I can over the top of the stall so it slams into the wall about 2 feet over his head, splattering him with cold water and tiny bits of wet toilet paper.
What a way to start the day, huh?