Monday, October 31, 2011

All in all, a rather boring evening.

I think I mentioned earlier that Lisa had noticed that folks walking down the sidewalk always crossed the street before they got to my house. She thought it was funny and was wondering what she had got herself into.
That ain't shit. Tonight we had our porch light on and the door and blinds open, and folks were walking past our house without stopping to trick or treat.
Oh, there's been a few brave souls - my psycho neighbor Bruces' grandkids and 3 sets of young parents with their toddlers. They must be new to the neighborhood.
Lisa's beginning to suspect it may have something to do with a suggestion I made earlier this afternoon about letting CharlieGodammit answer the door.
"Oh hell no, those youngsters will be pissing and shitting everywhere when he bounces off the security door" she said, rather vehemently in my opinion.
"It'll be funnier than shit, though. Seriously. Let's go for it, just once. The first one will have us laughing so hard we won't have to do another one. We'll film it, okay?"
She walked away with an armful of laundry muttering something about not wanting to scrub the porch down or something along those lines, the spoilsport.
Hell, you should have seen it last year when he was only about 60 or 70 pounds. There was widespread panic then, can you imagine it now that he's reached (I hope) his full growth?

UPDATE:
The little bastards are coming out of the woodwork now. Maybe they're bussing in from poor(er) neighborhoods. I have seen a few that look like they belong in a trailer park.
Time to bring in the fucking dog.......

11 comments:

rpm2day said...

Admit it, you're proud of that dog like all us guys are of ours. Mine hates the 4 little yappy worthless things that my neighbor's wife walks while shaking her ass up and down the street. She got to one of them once, didn't kill it but made her point. So did the local P.D. when they sent me a warning. ( I always thought horse people were tougher than to call cops) Oh,well I still like hearing folks walk by the house and say "I guess no one is going to break into that place!

Bella said...

See, now you've become the crazy old bastard on "Main Street". Deal with it. Wear it with Pride. :)

Barack Smegma Obama said...

The Occupy people just asked for directions to your house; they feel that you owe them your fair share.

drjim said...

One I noticed this year. After I put two or three pieces of candy in each kid's bag, some of them would stick their hand into the little bucket I had the candy in, and try to grab more.
And guess what color they were....exclusively...

Paul, Dammit! said...

I was out walking in Brooklyn today, and the kids were everywhere trick or treating in the business districts. Amazingly well behaved, but I took a look back down the side streets, and saw very expensive brownstone houses, so that probably explains that. Strangely, no one came to our dock to trick or treat, and that's a shame, because apparently 'slutty mom' is the IN costume this year.

Lisa said...

You are so damn funny! I love it!!!

dhanna59 said...

Ken, you need to get the Clint Eastwood movie Gran Torino, record on dvd the part where he says "GET OFF MY LAWN !". Then set it for a 30 second loop on your stereo, turn a speaker to the door or window. sit back and watch the good times roll!!!...

Tattoo Jim said...

Sooooo Kenny...... when DO we get to set the video clip???????

Holden McGroin said...

Well, since they quit using papaer trick or treat bags, there's no fun in quickly tossing in a few ice cubes, listening tot he 'thunk' as they hit, and laughing as the kids go off; no, now you have to be inventive. Like heating up quarters until they glow, in a frying pan, then tossing them out onto the lawn and screaming 'Free money!!!'

Oh, and Dr. Jim - I'm guessing they were Norwegians. You KNOW how their kind are!!

Mulligan said...

I find the term 'Werewolf puppy' quite useful on Halloween.

If they aren't screaming when they run away they're missing out on the best part

Daver said...

I never get trick or treaters, think it has anything to do with the razor wire on my fence?