Me and Lisa were eating the other night when my psycho neighbors' grandkid started squalling. I swear to coyotes that kid has the loudest fucking mouth I have ever heard. And he's too young to talk so he's just screaming for screamings' sake.
I put up with it for about 2.3 seconds before I looked up and said "I'm fixing to get up and shove a Jolly Rancher in his mouth. Maybe we'll get lucky and the little bastard will choke on it and die."
Lisa laughed and said "You know what the scary part is? There was absolutely no interruption in your thought process just now."
No, the scary part is her realizing there was no interruption in my thought process. She knows me better than I thought.