Decorate? I have had exactly 2 Christmas trees in the past 30 years and one of them I did in a drunken blackout one July.
By the time we went to bed she had made arrangements to borrow one of Moms' spare trees (Mom has this OCD thing going on with Christmas - goes out and buys all new shit every year) and some decorations.
So tonight we put up our tree.
So in keeping with our redneckness, it's sitting on a surplus ammo container that's wrapped in a camo blanket. The trunk of the "tree" is wrapped in my rifle ghillie wrap. The ornaments are bass lures. The stain at the bottom is CharlieGodammit marking his territory.
Then Lisa went fucking crazy, man. She started putting Christmas shit everywhere. Scared the fuck out of me, I thought I was going to have to shoot her.
What's left of my Call Wall.
Check it out, you can't even see my skinning knives on top of the cabinet.
The she started eyeballing the top of the safe. I had to explain those weren't reindeer ears, they were deer antlers.
I put my foot down when she started talking about stringing lights around my barbed wire displays.