Saturday, December 17, 2011

Ahhh, Domestic life.....

Me and Miss Lisa had some errands to run so we took our sweet-ass time getting home, looking at Christmas lights. That was a fucking mistake. We no sooner hit the door and asked when we were going to decorate?
Decorate? I have had exactly 2 Christmas trees in the past 30 years and one of them I did in a drunken blackout one July.
By the time we went to bed she had made arrangements to borrow one of Moms' spare trees (Mom has this OCD thing going on with Christmas - goes out and buys all new shit every year) and some decorations.
So tonight we put up our tree.
So in keeping with our redneckness, it's sitting on a surplus ammo container that's wrapped in a camo blanket. The trunk of the "tree" is wrapped in my rifle ghillie wrap. The ornaments are bass lures. The stain at the bottom is CharlieGodammit marking his territory.

Then Lisa went fucking crazy, man. She started putting Christmas shit everywhere. Scared the fuck out of me, I thought I was going to have to shoot her.

What's left of my Call Wall.

Check it out, you can't even see my skinning knives on top of the cabinet.

The she started eyeballing the top of the safe. I had to explain those weren't reindeer ears, they were deer antlers.

I put my foot down when she started talking about stringing lights around my barbed wire displays.


Harry Bollocks said...

So you want us to believe that the bottom photo ain't really your 'kinky time' love basement????

Brock Townsend said...


Bella said...

Looks real purdy Lisa.

Make sure CGD doesn't get attached to any of those triple hooks. Ouch and a big Vet bill. (I actually can't believe I'm saying that about ornaments. LOL!)

Brian in Florida said...

Very Nice Sir, so much better than I have done. I did not decorate this year, well not MY house, but I did help with the daughters house and the almost 3 grand kid. She loved it,, perhaps next year I will over decorate for her, this year I wanted it to be all about Mommy and Daddy. Next year I get to have her. (Evil Laugh) Next year I will warp her with my tree of Memories, Each bobble has a history, but this year she is innocent and having fun.

drjim said...

Yeah, my lady and I are going out to get our tree Sunday morning.
And a new screen door for the back because our two 75 pound dogs decided to try and get out when it was latched shut last week!

Deb said...

Thank Buddha (and Lisa) it's a redneck tree. I was worried it might be a "Gotta Be California (again)" theme.

Bob said...

You have an ornamental spittoon, I see. It's ornamental because it's on a shelf instead of on the floor next to your man-throne.