Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Couldn't have said it better my ownself

 
Today on the chopping block, inspired by This Post, I'd like to address the issue of need. As in the constant whine of "Why do you NEED x? What are you going to use X for?" in regards to personal weaponry. This is a common question among Gun Owner Butts (as in "I'm a gun owner, but...") who wail and gnash their teeth because you don't use night vision scopes to hunt Bambi. Put quite simply, this question is some bullshit, and I've always got an answer. So here goes.

Q: "Why do you NEED high capacity magazines?"
A: "Because sometimes you have to kill a whole bunch of motherfuckers."

Q: "Why do you NEED armor piercing rounds?"
A: "Because sometimes you have to kill some motherfucker hiding on the other side of a wall."

Q: "Why do you NEED a fifty caliber sniper rifle?"
A: "Because sometimes you have to kill some motherfucker from a kilometer away."


Q: "Why do you need a night vision scope?"
A: "Because sometimes you have to kill some motherfuckers in the dark."

Bitches I can go on all day like this. Why do I NEED this shit? Well I dunno, genius, why were these items developed? Almost all of them had a purpose when they were developed. They designed AP to penetrate barricades. They designed night vision for killing motherfuckers in the dark. They developed standard ("high") capacity magazines to lessen the need to reload.

I'm sick of pretending that there are sporting purposes to my shit. I'm a survivalist and my weapons are for killing motherfuckers in a theoretical Mad Max future, and perhaps most importantly of all I don't have to justify shit to you, god damnit.

Choke on that, you fascist vermin.

10 comments:

drjim said...

Right on!

Mulligan said...

my standard response:

I need it so I can train and be better than the bad guys. So that when the bad guy's stupid kicks in and he tries to make me a victim I am prepared to successfully resist.

then if they don't go away you can follow up with the question:

is your stupid kickin in?

DeNihilist said...

WC, you heard of this guy?

http://youtu.be/cOeyNI59jVU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOeyNI59jVU&feature=player_embedded

davecydell said...

Beautifully said.

MrG's said...

Couldn't have said it better myself. I had words with a black powder shooter that asked " why do you need an assault rifle...? I replied " because when da man comes for you, it takes too long to reload a black powder rifle." the 2nd amendment ain't about duck hunting.

Oswald Bastable said...

had that one out with a cop 25 years ago when we had to register all we owned. 'Why do you need a Mini-14? nobody needs a semi-automatic!'

I replied that I did not NEED it- I wanted it- and and a registered firearms license owner, he was obliged, BY LAw, to issue me that certificate of registration.

Deputy Dawg was not a happy camper by this time.

Did I mention I was in full uniform at the time?

Deputy stupid then called my OC for a character reference. Big Mistake. "ARE YOU SAYING THAT ONE OF THE THE BEST SHOOTERs IN MY UNIT IS UNSUITABLE TO USE A FIREARM- AN EXPERT ON SHIT YOU WOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED NEAR?'

'Sorry sir, but I had to ask...'

AlanD said...

It really is not that hard to figure it out, but thanks for saying it out loud for the slow ones.

Linked this.

davidc said...

Because it's the Bill of Rights, not the Bill of Needs ! From Alan Gottlieb.

rpm2day said...

Second to the the last paragraph says it all for me. I'll add that too much horsepower is not enough!

Edward Teach said...

I could not agree more!

My answer to these enema nozzles has become: Who the fuck died such that I now have to justify anything I have or do to you??