Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Couldn't have said it better my ownself

 
Today on the chopping block, inspired by This Post, I'd like to address the issue of need. As in the constant whine of "Why do you NEED x? What are you going to use X for?" in regards to personal weaponry. This is a common question among Gun Owner Butts (as in "I'm a gun owner, but...") who wail and gnash their teeth because you don't use night vision scopes to hunt Bambi. Put quite simply, this question is some bullshit, and I've always got an answer. So here goes.

Q: "Why do you NEED high capacity magazines?"
A: "Because sometimes you have to kill a whole bunch of motherfuckers."

Q: "Why do you NEED armor piercing rounds?"
A: "Because sometimes you have to kill some motherfucker hiding on the other side of a wall."

Q: "Why do you NEED a fifty caliber sniper rifle?"
A: "Because sometimes you have to kill some motherfucker from a kilometer away."


Q: "Why do you need a night vision scope?"
A: "Because sometimes you have to kill some motherfuckers in the dark."

Bitches I can go on all day like this. Why do I NEED this shit? Well I dunno, genius, why were these items developed? Almost all of them had a purpose when they were developed. They designed AP to penetrate barricades. They designed night vision for killing motherfuckers in the dark. They developed standard ("high") capacity magazines to lessen the need to reload.

I'm sick of pretending that there are sporting purposes to my shit. I'm a survivalist and my weapons are for killing motherfuckers in a theoretical Mad Max future, and perhaps most importantly of all I don't have to justify shit to you, god damnit.

Choke on that, you fascist vermin.